Campaign 2008: The Stupidest Election Ever

[The Good Reverend Roger]

2.  Joe the Plumber is the perfect poster child for this decade.  He embodies America in the new century.  Isn't that hilarious?  Doesn't that make you want to laugh until you can't stop screaming?

Also, he's trying to get his country music career started.
Also, he's running for Congress






but you know, when even Fox news picks on old Joe, there's no horror, just mirth:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eSJuWgZGYo
if you don't have the stones, fast forward to the end. Some high quality lulz in the last 20 seconds

This is great.  This guy deserves all the shitting on that he's getting.

[Cain]

Yeah, pretty much.  To being with, I was a little put off by the Kossacks and the like digging into his personal background.  But he kept on being a fuckmuppet who interjected himself into the race and acting like a Know-Nothing idiot for the benefit of the national press.  Accidentally catching the headlines for a while is one thing, but being a one man sleeper cell for the lunatic fringe is another.

Speaking of which, the lunatic fringe ain't paying too well lately.  Shit, have you seen what they're doing to Frum and Brooks for having the temerity to point out some basic facts?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Yeah, pretty much.  To being with, I was a little put off by the Kossacks and the like digging into his personal background.  But he kept on being a fuckmuppet who interjected himself into the race and acting like a Know-Nothing idiot for the benefit of the national press.  Accidentally catching the headlines for a while is one thing, but being a one man sleeper cell for the lunatic fringe is another.

Speaking of which, the lunatic fringe ain't paying too well lately.  Shit, have you seen what they're doing to Frum and Brooks for having the temerity to point out some basic facts?

No.  Lay it on me.

[Cain]

Frum, Brooks, Althouse, Peggy Noonan and the rest are "cocktail conservatives" and "Obama-cons", for pointing out that GOP style politics, as they stand, are far removed from what America wants and so need a serious rethink.  As one Bush advisor put it, they are "dead men walking" in the party, especially for criticizing Palin.

Tomorrow will be the start of the Night of the Long Knives.  Comrades found unwilling to blame the loss of the election on ACORN and claim alleigance to Palin will be purged.  Its going to be gloriously messy.  A circular firing squad of epic proportions is sizing up for one hell of a political bloodbath, which will likely rumble on until next summer.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Frum, Brooks, Althouse, Peggy Noonan and the rest are "cocktail conservatives" and "Obama-cons", for pointing out that GOP style politics, as they stand, are far removed from what America wants and so need a serious rethink.  As one Bush advisor put it, they are "dead men walking" in the party, especially for criticizing Palin.

Tomorrow will be the start of the Night of the Long Knives.  Comrades found unwilling to blame the loss of the election on ACORN and claim alleigance to Palin will be purged.  Its going to be gloriously messy.  A circular firing squad of epic proportions is sizing up for one hell of a political bloodbath, which will likely rumble on until next summer.

With any luck at all, the party will rupture right down the middle.

[singer]

Frum, Brooks, Althouse, Peggy Noonan and the rest are "cocktail conservatives" and "Obama-cons", for pointing out that GOP style politics, as they stand, are far removed from what America wants and so need a serious rethink.  As one Bush advisor put it, they are "dead men walking" in the party, especially for criticizing Palin.

Tomorrow will be the start of the Night of the Long Knives.  Comrades found unwilling to blame the loss of the election on ACORN and claim alleigance to Palin will be purged.  Its going to be gloriously messy.  A circular firing squad of epic proportions is sizing up for one hell of a political bloodbath, which will likely rumble on until next summer.

Ooooh.... I should pop some corn....

[Cain]

Frum, Brooks, Althouse, Peggy Noonan and the rest are "cocktail conservatives" and "Obama-cons", for pointing out that GOP style politics, as they stand, are far removed from what America wants and so need a serious rethink.  As one Bush advisor put it, they are "dead men walking" in the party, especially for criticizing Palin.

Tomorrow will be the start of the Night of the Long Knives.  Comrades found unwilling to blame the loss of the election on ACORN and claim alleigance to Palin will be purged.  Its going to be gloriously messy.  A circular firing squad of epic proportions is sizing up for one hell of a political bloodbath, which will likely rumble on until next summer.

With any luck at all, the party will rupture right down the middle.

My theory/hope is that the Tory-esque party intellectuals bugger off (with some of the more urbane libertarians and national defence hawks) and the remaining crazies in the GOP appeal to the Constitution Party to pick up the numbers.  The only problem with that is that the proto-fascists in the Constitution Party then get to use the GOP branding which, while in pretty bad shape, has the benefit of not being totally bugfuck insane (in the black helicoptor/secret one world government style).

[nostalgicBadger]

Sooner or later, the GOP is really going to need to get its shit together. A two party system is bad enough, but once we're down to one, it's going to become a lot more difficult to pretend that we're a representative democracy and not some kind of oligarchy. John McCain lost the election when he decided to associate himself with Bush, and he should have realized that much when even the media stopped even acknowledging the man, and then choosing Palin was pretty much like pouring battery acid into a gaping wound. I wish I could have more sympathy since this was basically his last shot at the presidency, but McCain really fucked himself, along with anybody who might have voted for the guy he was five years ago.

My prediction is that the next four years are pretty much going to suck big, hairy balls regardless of who wins (Obama), and if the Republican leaders can pull their heads out of their asses, maybe they'll have the sense to stop affiliating themselves with crazy ass fundamentalists before the next election.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Sooner or later, the GOP is really going to need to get its shit together.

Why?  If people will vote for Bush, they'll vote for any silly fucker the GOP tosses up, as long as he jabbers about Jesus a little.

My prediction is that the next four years are pretty much going to suck big, hairy balls regardless of who wins (Obama), and if the Republican leaders can pull their heads out of their asses, maybe they'll have the sense to stop affiliating themselves with crazy ass fundamentalists before the next election.

Good luck with that.  That's all the GOP has left for anyone who isn't a CEO.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

McCain realized that the GOP was being destroyed by neo-cons and religious nutcases. So he cleverly planned to run for office, make the stupidest blunders and dredge up a VP that stands for all that's wrong with the GOP in order to shine a spotlight on the issues. He's intentionally thrown the election by making his campaign a parody of  the failings of the Old Party and once this is all done, he'll announce that he's changing aisles and joining the Dems, giving them a super majority in the Senate, that they otherwise would have missed by 1.

Immediately he and Obama will begin dismantling the past 8 years of signing statements, Patriot Acts, memos on Torture, doctrines of preemption and he'll personally lead the charge to close Guantanamo, speaking with each prisoner and begging them to forgive the evil acts of some men, in the name of this nation.

However, he'll still be in the lead on the GOP side when the Democrats act like assholes... knocking heads when necessary.

--

Then I woke up and went to vote....

[nostalgicBadger]

The thing is though, all of the things that Ratatosk just listed as being wrong with Bush's presidency have nothing to do with the Republican Party, or at least not in the traditional sense. Conservativism is traditionally about protection of property and maintaining the status quo. Ideally, if the Democrats were trying to bring about equality and the Republicans were trying to keep the everyone where they are, there would be some rational compromise where the wealthy might make a few sacrifices to bring the lower class up toward the middle class, which could help to decrease crime and violence and ultimately benefit everybody.

Unfortunately, that's not how it's happening. The problem, as I see it, is that other issues are being involved, because people don't know how to vote on economic issues. People don't get that you can't just tax the profits of corporations, because they'll in turn jack up their prices to make back what they lost. People are too short sighted to understand things like that, so they vote on issues like abortion and gay marriage, shit that doesn't matter. People who would benefit from a Democrat in office are voting for McCain because he's a God-fearing American. People who would benefit from a Republican in office are voting for Obama because he's going to end the war in Iraq (no he's not.) Elections are stolen by these ridiculous non-issues, and even the parties are losing sight of what they're supposed to be representing.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The thing is though, all of the things that Ratatosk just listed as being wrong with Bush's presidency have nothing to do with the Republican Party, or at least not in the traditional sense.

It's been a long time since Barry Goldwater, NB.

And even he was debatable.

[Cain]

The thing is though, all of the things that Ratatosk just listed as being wrong with Bush's presidency have nothing to do with the Republican Party, or at least not in the traditional sense.

It's been a long time since Barry Goldwater, NB.

And even he was debatable.

Goldwater was the original wingnut.

I'll cite evidence if required.  Hell, even Burke and de Maistre were a confused elitist reactionary and a whining theocratic fanatic respectively, if we want to go back to the start of things. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The thing is though, all of the things that Ratatosk just listed as being wrong with Bush's presidency have nothing to do with the Republican Party, or at least not in the traditional sense.

It's been a long time since Barry Goldwater, NB.

And even he was debatable.

Goldwater was the original wingnut.

I'll cite evidence if required.  Hell, even Burke and de Maistre were a confused elitist reactionary and a whining theocratic fanatic respectively, if we want to go back to the start of things. 

Oh, sure. 

But he was also the last GOP presidential candidate that had ANY actual "conservative" ideals left.

[Cain]

Well, yes.  His opposition to racism was admirable, for example, even if it was somewhat undermined by his support for state rights  However, the 'war on everything', 'I'm willing to let every man, woman and child in America die to prove I am right' mentality he had towards the Soviet Union is pretty much the modern conservative approach to foreign policy (excepting Nixon, bizzarely).

Edit: wow, I cannot type tonight.