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WARNING: D&D TALK

Started by Cramulus, November 14, 2008, 04:09:03 PM

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Who Wins?

Demi-Lich
21 (67.7%)
Tarrasque
10 (32.3%)

Total Members Voted: 31

Kai

Quote from: Triple Zero on November 15, 2008, 12:07:41 AM
:thanks:

(c'mon guys, it's three posts into a D&D geeking thread and nobody has yet pointed out this is impossible because the Tarrasque is unique)

I thought of it but the concept was so funny I forgot to point it out.  :lulz:
If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. --Loren Eisley, The Immense Journey

Her Royal Majesty's Chief of Insect Genitalia Dissection
Grand Visser of the Six Legged Class
Chanticleer of the Holometabola Clade Church, Diptera Parish

Cainad (dec.)

Quote from: Triple Zero on November 15, 2008, 12:07:41 AM
:thanks:

(c'mon guys, it's three posts into a D&D geeking thread and nobody has yet pointed out this is impossible because the Tarrasque is unique)

I thought it would be dickish to ruin such a great joke.

Triple Zero

no, it just goes to show how fucked up sexually deviant Fur-Demi-Liches can be, they're totally living in a fantasy world, can't you see????
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Cain

Technically, it could be done.

You just have to get one Tarrasque from Faerun to Eberron.

The Dark Monk

I THOUGHT TARRASQUE WAS AN ULTRALISK IN STARCRAFT!
I thought this is all there is,
but now I know you are so much more.
I want to upgrade from my simple eight bits,
but will you still love me when I'm sixty-four?
~MIAB~

Sister_Gothique

Quote from: The Dark Monk on November 15, 2008, 11:35:26 AM
I THOUGHT TARRASQUE WAS AN ULTRALISK IN STARCRAFT!
Hit DnD first, as a T-Rex on steroids.
I'm the new "God's Will"...Soon it'll be, "Oh, I can't be held accountable for THAT, Sister Gothique made me do it!"

Golden Applesauce

Q: How regularly do you hire 8th graders?
A: We have hired a number of FORMER 8th graders.

Shibboleet The Annihilator


Shibboleet The Annihilator

*COMES BACK IN WITH +20 CAPSLOCK! HE PWNRAEPS BOTH DRAGONS WITH HIS LEVEL 70 MAGICIAN AND FIRES DAVID COPPERFIELD OUT OF HIS ASS DIRECTLY INTO THE DEMILICH'S SWOLLEN COLON (OMG, RHYMES!) WHILE DORA THE EXPORA BACKSTABS THE TERRASQUE WITH HER +9001 POWER SCOUTER.*

FUCK YOUR SHIT! MY POWER IS MAXIMUM!


Sister_Gothique

I'm the new "God's Will"...Soon it'll be, "Oh, I can't be held accountable for THAT, Sister Gothique made me do it!"

Sister_Gothique

#55
Quote from: NlGEL on November 15, 2008, 11:44:09 PM
*COMES BACK IN WITH +20 CAPSLOCK! HE PWNRAEPS BOTH DRAGONS WITH HIS LEVEL 70 MAGICIAN AND FIRES DAVID COPPERFIELD OUT OF HIS ASS DIRECTLY INTO THE DEMILICH'S SWOLLEN COLON (OMG, RHYMES!) WHILE DORA THE EXPORA BACKSTABS THE TERRASQUE WITH HER +9001 POWER SCOUTER.*

FUCK YOUR SHIT! MY POWER IS MAXIMUM!


My unicorn sparkles at your wizard, NlGEL....and gives it a really meaningful look!
I'm the new "God's Will"...Soon it'll be, "Oh, I can't be held accountable for THAT, Sister Gothique made me do it!"

P3nT4gR4m


I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Cramulus

Jack Chick on Dungeons and Dragons
updated 2001

http://www.chick.com/articles/frpg.asp

QuoteThey even tell me that these clerics are supposed to have noble virtues and standards of conduct. I am also informed by irate DMs that in their games virtues such as self-sacrifice, heroism and persistence are rewarded and extolled. That is all well and good. But it will also take you to hell faster than a greased demon on roller skates.

QuoteI covet your prayers that the Lord would give me the time and funds to thoroughly research the contemporary FRPG scene, which if anything appears to be more appalling than it was 20 years ago. A walk through any gaming store can prove that. For example, there is now a whole line of materials based on the hellish H.P. Lovecraft Cthulhu mythos, a form of magic that we practiced in the darkest days of our satanic career - a system of magic prominently featured in THE SATANIC RITUALS by Anton LaVey!


QuoteDefenders of D&D often complain that it is only a game. Playing chicken with cars is "only a game" until someone gets killed. So is Russian roulette! I am frequently told to "get a life" or write about something more important than D&D, like social justice or world hunger. The devil would sure like that.

It needs to be emphasized that a spiritual deception which draws people away from Jesus Christ is much more dangerous than automotive chicken or people dying of starvation. People who write such things are - in all Christian charity - deceived. Down through the ages, no institution has done more to help the poor, the orphans and the starving than has the church of Jesus Christ. I would just ask them where are the rescue missions and orphanages started by D&D gamers?

Concerning the metaphor about Russian roulette or "chicken," some D&D defenders have said that it is a ridiculous or extreme comparison. But remember what the Lord Jesus said:
"And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both body and soul in hell."-Matt. 10:28.

Yes, the life threatening consequences of chicken or Russian roulette are deadly serious and not to be minimized. But any game which draws people away from a true understanding of Jesus, God, salvation and the cosmos IS soul-destroying in the truest possible sense of the word. That is incalculably worse. We only have our bodies a few scant years before they turn to dust. Our souls we will have forever, and what if they have been destroyed by playing D&D? They may well end up in the fiery blackness of hell.

Additionally, unlike Russian roulette or chicken, D&D is an extremely challenging game intellectually and emotionally. It truly involves its players in ways few games do, because it does demand a high level of imagination and creative engagement. Playing "chicken" demands neither. It is very like the devil to engineer a pastime which draws on the best of young people and then grind their minds and souls under the millstone of his hate.

Requia ☣

This thread contains more geekery than every DnD group I have taken part of in the last 11 years *combined*.

Demi Lich wins.  Because its smart enough to not get into the fight.
Inflatable dolls are not recognized flotation devices.

Cain

So the Devil is against social injustice and world hunger?

And has all the world's best musicians?

Jack Chick is trolling. I know its obvious, but he's making Satanism sound way better than Christianity right now.