Dinner Party

[RunsWithScissors]

I attempted to get some decent crit on this poem on DA, but all I got was along the lines of: "What are you on?"

So I'm putting it here, in a place surrounded by people, all of whom I've noticed tend to think much in the same manner as I do.


Dinner Party



Blood of the Natives spills
from the holes in your
Spaghettios-  a river,
stinging
and emitting heartburn:
population control
bordering on genocide.
What a horrid tyrant did you turn out to be!

Conqueror, emperor
Zero!
Named you as their ruler, didn't they?
(a full 11" and three quarters)
Flying Spaghetti Monster!
call him to whip this tomato-y river
with his noodle-y appendages
for it would not allow you passage!


KALLISTI!
Golden apples of Discordia
falling, causing craters of
anarchy; and I, the chosen,
dumping them upon the world as I see fit.
Hail Eris!
Hail Discordia!
Chao!

My amusements now are law-
Insanity? No.
There can never be perfect order.
Will you follow me? Yes.

"(lowercase t) truth" will never be enough
to make order of disorder.
Shake your rugs outdoors,
carrying dust back, attached to your socks;
socks that didn't match anyway
because the monster
in the drier always eats one.
Better than sacrificing your firstborn.

"(uppercase t) Truth" just realized
the futility of perfection
and the foolishness of being obsessive.
Wander the streets with lantern in hand
and you will be stabbed in the back by a frustrated soldier:
"Don't disturb my circles!" you said.
But chaos, in its way,
disrupted them before you vomited out the words
as your faculties left your
dieing body.

Would you let your empire be ravaged by a fifty-foot tall infant?
Fascist dictator:
Keep your subjects reigned tight!
License after license,
sterilized at birth-
genetic and intellectual evaluations
just to mate.

Control the stupid, or make them believe it is Right.

Oh, but you just lost everything!
You forgot to plant your flag.
Your great palace of order
resembles a heap of shattered, uncooked
noodles on a kitchen floor.
Sweep it up.
Rinse it off. (or not)
Cook it, and don't tell your guests.

_______________________________________


Yes, I realize it is "Xero" and not "Zero" I made it that way for a reason.
You guys should all understand the references to the Principia.
Also, I'm sure many of you should have heard of the FSM by now as well.  Woot for Pastafarians.


(I must drink a lot more than I originally suspected.)



(Bologna is a word I love, because it is not pronounced the way it is spelled.  I tried pronouncing it "bologna" once, and was asked if English was a second language.)


(I think I will now end all my important statements with jazz-hands and the word bologna, bologna. *jazz-hands*)

(Now, I must commission someone to make me a *jazz hands* emote.*jazz-hands*bologna*jazz-hands*) 

[Professor Mu-Chao]

Needs more Jazz hands. Maybe one after every paragraph verse:

Blood of the Natives spills
from the holes in your
Spaghettios-  a river,
stinging
and emitting heartburn:
population control
bordering on genocide.
What a horrid tyrant did you turn out to be!
Jazz Hands!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Needs more Jazz hands. Maybe one after every paragraph verse:

Blood of the Natives spills
from the holes in your
Spaghettios-  a river,
stinging
and emitting heartburn:
population control
bordering on genocide.
What a horrid tyrant did you turn out to be!
Jazz Hands!

Moving, eloquent, verbose

[Jasper]

What are you on?

[RunsWithScissors]

What are you on?

Do newspaper ink fumes count?

But then again, newspaper ink is made of soy.  Is it possible to get high on soy?

[Jasper]

What are you on?

Do newspaper ink fumes count?

But then again, newspaper ink is made of soy.  Is it possible to get high on soy?

One can alter one's mind with any substance.  The enjoyment and/or deadliness of most things is subjective, however.

[Cain]

Make way, I have modules in critical examination of (ancient Greek) poetry.

Needs moar death of enemies, talk of undiluted wine, gay sex and slavery.

(Real advice tomorrow)