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101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence

Started by Mesozoic Mister Nigel, January 08, 2009, 02:14:43 PM

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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

It is an excellent teaching exercise! And it helps prepare the children for life by giving them the skills to deal with morons who need overexplaining in order to function.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Bu🤠ns


AFK

Quote from: Nigel on February 24, 2009, 03:48:06 AM
A favorite activity we share is pretending to be incredibly dumb, so that the children have to patiently explain very simple concepts to us. Then we act amazed and incredulous.

They're starting to catch on, though.

Have you ever watched Blue's Clue's?  That's basically Steve and Joe's whole schtick.  That they are complete morons who need the kids at home help figuring out which cup of juice has more or which sock is blue, etc., etc., 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


hooplala

Quote from: Nigel on February 24, 2009, 03:48:06 AM
Quote from: Dr Hoopla on February 23, 2009, 09:25:04 PM
My dad likes to say "Hello boys!" to a group of girl children.  They are stunned for a few seconds, and then incredulously cry "WE'RE GIRLS!!"

I like to ask kids where their husband or wife is.  They are always (always) shocked by the question.

:lulz:

My housemate has done something like that.

A favorite activity we share is pretending to be incredibly dumb, so that the children have to patiently explain very simple concepts to us. Then we act amazed and incredulous.

They're starting to catch on, though.


HAHAHA!!  I'm gonna try that with the niece and nephew in Florida.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
— Walt Whitman

Jasper

Quote from: Nigel on February 24, 2009, 03:43:31 PM
Yes! It gets more fun as they get older.

I'm imagining you asking a twenty-year old how a pbj sandwich is made. :lulz:

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Felix on February 25, 2009, 07:38:46 PM
Quote from: Nigel on February 24, 2009, 03:43:31 PM
Yes! It gets more fun as they get older.

I'm imagining you asking a twenty-year old how a pbj sandwich is made. :lulz:

It's even better... there are countless things in modern life that I can pretend to not understand, and some of them haven't even been invented yet!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Jasper


the other anonymous


Fuquad

#54
two lazy two look up the #. Yes, YOU CAN have it. How are you going to PAY for it?



THE WORST FORUM ON THE INTERNET

Sir Squid Diddimus

Quote from: A Pesky Nonvoting Screeching on April 03, 2009, 10:03:51 AM
two lazy two look up the #. Yes, YOU CAN have it. How are you going to PAY for it?

dude, that's a good one.

Dysfunctional Cunt

Quote from: Squid on April 03, 2009, 04:21:06 PM
Quote from: A Pesky Nonvoting Screeching on April 03, 2009, 10:03:51 AM
two lazy two look up the #. Yes, YOU CAN have it. How are you going to PAY for it?

dude, that's a good one.

My father told me when I was 16 he would buy me an Alpha Romeo Spider Veloce as soonas I could afford it.  Reality hit in the middle of my jumpingup and down in excitement.  I've used that with my kids a lot.  Sure, i'll buy you those $190.00 Nikes just as soon as you can afford them.

Darth Cupcake

Quote from: Squid on April 03, 2009, 04:21:06 PM
Quote from: A Pesky Nonvoting Screeching on April 03, 2009, 10:03:51 AM
two lazy two look up the #. Yes, YOU CAN have it. How are you going to PAY for it?

dude, that's a good one.

Be careful what you wish for.

When I was 15, I told my mom I wanted a car when I got my license. She said sure, I could have any car I wanted... if I bought it.

A year and a half later when I got my license, I had $6k in the bank and she was faced with a daughter who was very, very prepared to buy that bright red sports car.
Be the trouble you want to see in the world.

Sir Squid Diddimus


Darth Cupcake

Yes, but I think she holds me singularly responsible for 90% of her gray hairs. :cry:
Be the trouble you want to see in the world.