Shut the fuck up.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

People like to talk, they really like making noises with their mouths. They talk talk talk all the fucking time, rarely saying anything of interest of value EVEN TO THEM, just fucking reading labels out loud or narrating the events around them "the dog is looking at me, oh man now he's going up the stairs, bye dog! I'm going to have a cup of coffee. There's a bird outside the window, oh nope he flew away. The sun is out today. Haha this bottle of syrup is funny! I think I'll read the ingredients..." on and on and on FOR NO FUCKING REASON other than that perhaps if they stop FUCKING TALKING their brains might switch on and they might have a moment of wondering what the hell all this is about, anyway, and what they're doing with their lives besides being another cog in the machine. Maybe if they stop talking the universe starts pressing in on them and they begin to become aware of how tiny, how meaningless, how insignificant, and above all how lonely they are.

Worse yet, their chatter infringes on any thinking anyone else might do, as well as triggering routine responses to complete fucking inane prattle that needn't have been said in the first place, more inane prattle, back and forth endlessly forever until they plunk their stupid vapid asses in front of some stupid fucking mind-wasting TV program, which they can then TALK ABOUT later.

Talking, talking, talking. I wish I could cut their fucking stupid tongues out of their hollow heads, but then you know what would happen; they would grunt and wave their arms around all the time, just to make a noise and get you to look at them, not caring that nobody understands. That's basically the same thing they're doing now.

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

If you try to tell them that you're not big on talking, that you like quiet, that you like being left alone, that you need peace so you can think, 99% of the time the fucking retard population that we call "humanity" will switch into autopilot and interpret that as the one possibility they're capable of understanding; that you need to be cheered up. So they amp up the painfully boring vapid narrative by trying to make it clever and funny, until you actually ARE in a bad mood and start fantasizing about hitting them with a hammer, over and over again, until there is only blood and pulp and fragments of bone. Because that's the only way you can make them stop. Even if you tell them, listen asshole, SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE, I HATE YOUR STUPID CHATTER, they will slink away all wounded for a couple of days, complain to all their friends about what a bastard you are, and then come back and try to make up. And as soon as you grant them any attention, any hint that you might not be about to punch them in their moronic flapping mouths, a smile or a bit of conversation or even just a moment of eye contact, they start again, talking talking without saying anything at all.

SHUT

THE

FUCK

UP

Stop talking.

Stop talking about some goddamn TV show

Stop talking about your cat

Stop talking about the weather

about what you're eating

what you see out the window

whatever

Stop... just stop.



OR KILL ME.

[Cramulus]

One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about human beings was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in “It’s a nice day,” or “You’re very tall,” or “Oh dear, you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right?” At first, Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behavior. If human beings don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months’ consideration and observation, he abandoned this theory in favor of a new one. If they don’t keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. After a while, he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical and decided he quite liked human beings after all, but he always remained desperately worried about the terrible number of things they didn’t know about.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about human beings was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in "It's a nice day," or "You're very tall," or "Oh dear, you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right?" At first, Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behavior. If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation, he abandoned this theory in favor of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. After a while, he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical and decided he quite liked human beings after all, but he always remained desperately worried about the terrible number of things they didn't know about.

I love those books.

[Pope Lecherous]

THAT was a fucking rant. good shit nigel

*stating the obvious

[Herbertina Merrique V]

Itteh bitteh mittehs.

You summed up the main reason why I like to skip school to sit in front of the computer and ignore all those social activities where it's necessary to interfere with Normal People.

Or maybe I'm just a geek. ; _ ;

[Cramulus]

here's a tl;dr version of the OP:

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Also, LOLCram!

[Pariah]

here's a tl;dr version of the OP:

By the way, Nigel this is just gonna make more people talk to you about random shit just to piss you off you know

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

here's a tl;dr version of the OP:

By the way, Nigel this is just gonna make more people talk to you about random shit just to piss you off you know

No, it's not.

Guess why?

[Pariah]

here's a tl;dr version of the OP:

By the way, Nigel this is just gonna make more people talk to you about random shit just to piss you off you know

No, it's not.

Guess why?

Hmm Would you look at that! This box of Oreos has 7 grams of fat PER SERVING.

Wait what were you saying

[Cainad (dec.)]

No, it's not.

Guess why?

...







...















... prolapse?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

... because none of you people have actual face-to-face access to me, and if you did and the first thing you did was yammer about pointless vapid bullshit, it wouldn't happen again.

Pointless vapid yammering just doesn't have the same "talking to hear yourself talk" effect on the internet. You can type just to watch yourself type, but it neither demands my attention nor interferes with my train of thought.

[Suu]

Itteh bitteh mittehs.

You summed up the main reason why I like to skip school to sit in front of the computer and ignore all those social activities where it's necessary to interfere with Normal People.

Or maybe I'm just a geek. ; _ ;

Protip: Skipping school isn't all that great of an idea. Those same assholes you're trying to avoid now will be there after you're done with school ANYWAY. Grin it, bear it, get educated, get empowered. That's the best advice I can give you.

[Pariah]

... because none of you people have actual face-to-face access to me, and if you did and the first thing you did was yammer about pointless vapid bullshit, it wouldn't happen again.

Pointless vapid yammering just doesn't have the same "talking to hear yourself talk" effect on the internet. You can type just to watch yourself type, but it neither demands my attention nor interferes with my train of thought.

I will track you down!

Then I'll talk about my Oreo nutritional facts!

[Jenne]

Itteh bitteh mittehs.

You summed up the main reason why I like to skip school to sit in front of the computer and ignore all those social activities where it's necessary to interfere with Normal People.

Or maybe I'm just a geek. ; _ ;

Protip: Skipping school isn't all that great of an idea. Those same assholes you're trying to avoid now will be there after you're done with school ANYWAY. Grin it, bear it, get educated, get empowered. That's the best advice I can give you.

Suu's riding a very FINE motorcycle, there.