Discordian and SubGenius Mantras

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

From the Desks of Diogenes Syadasti Maharishi Shandor, O.M.
and Bohandas Mohandas Banannafannafofondis:

[/u]

The Following are some SubGenius and Discordian mantras, which I have either gathered from various sources (Including five which I've made up myself- The FSM Mantra, the 2 Holy-Grail Mantras, the Discordian-Mantras mantra, and the Obscene Votive Candle mantra). To fully understand the meanings of some of these mantras, it is reccommended that you be familiar with, among other things, The Principia Discordia (Obviously), the Muscial Stylings of DEVO, the musical stylings of The Doktors for "BOB", the films Arise, Let's Visit the World of the Future and Monty Python and the Holy Grail, the TV shows Pinky and the Brain and Dr.Who, the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the SubGenius BOB-Songs CDs, and a smattering of French-Canadian profanity^* (At least two are based on obscene, religion related, French/Québecois double-entendres). None of these, however, are strictly required. And now, without further ado, the Mantras:


The Bleeding Head Mantra:
"Bleeding Head Good! Healed Head Bad!"


The Arnold Palmer/Head Launching Mantra (may be combined w/ the above):
"Launch the Head; Launch the Head!"


The Universal DEVO-"BOB" Mantra:
"I am "BOB", I am Not "BOB", You are "BOB", We are all "BOB", We are All Devo., We are "BOB""


The Holy Grail Mantra:
"Aauuuuugh" (From the back of the throat)
(hmmm....He must've died while typing it.....)


The Holy Grail Mantra (Expanded):
"Aauuuuugh...San-Gréal Câlise; de la Sacrament de la Sacrifice à Calvaire de la Crisse; à la Tabernac à...Aauuuuugh"
(see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quebec_French_profanity)


The J.R. "BOB" Dobbs Mantra:
"You Are J.R. "BOB" Dobbs; You Are Not J.R. "BOB" Dobbs; You Have Always Been  J.R. "BOB" Dobbs"

The Sri Syadasti Mantra:
"Sri SYADASTI SYADAVAKTAVYA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADASTI CAVAKTAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVATAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVAKTAVYASCA"

The Root Chakra Mantra:
"Lam"

The Litany of Deevolution (The Jocko-Homo Mantra):
"Are we not men?; We are Devo.; Are We Not Men?; We Are Devo.; Are We Not Pins?; We Are Devo.; Are we Not Men?; We Are Devo.;  We Must Repeat; D-E-V-O; We Must Repeat D-E-V-O; We Must Repeat; D-E-V-O; We Must Repeat D-E-V-O."

The Québecois Obscene Votive Candle Mantra:
"Ciarge de la Sacré Ciboire de la Tabernac de la Ostie et Câlise de la Sacrament de la Sacrifice à Calvaire; de la Sang Réal de la Crisse-Dieu fils ****-Un par Baptême et le Plus Crissant le fils de la Viarge " (Should be said with a Freach-Canadian Accent)

(see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quebec_French_profanity)

The Doktors 4 "BOB" Mantra:
"Heunh..."

The Skaro Mantra:
"Exterminate! Annihilate! Destroy!"

The Mr.Show Mantra:
"The BOB is not a person; The BOB is Pure-Light-And-Energy; He Will Lead Us Out Through Heaven's-Chimney in a Giant, Cigar-Shaped UFO™-Brand Flying-Saucer"

(See BOBsongs 6 track #6)

The B-Movie Mantra:
"It is Film! It is Giant People! Yes, yes you are Watching! No, no you Will Not Forget What You See"


The SubGenius Mantras Mantra:
"Ommmmmm....SubGenius Mantras for Use By Discordians or Members of the Church of the SubGenius...Huenh......"


The Bavarian Illuminati Mantra:
"Fnord ..."

The mad lab-rat Mantra:
"Narf..."(/ "Zort") (/ "Troz") (/ "Poit")
(May be combined with the Bavarian Illuminati Mantra, the Holy Grail Mantra, the Root Chakra Mantra, the Flying Spaghetti Monster Mantra (see below) and/or the Doktors-4-"BOB" Mantra)

The Flying Spaghetti Monster Mantra:
"Arrr..." (end cycle of chants with the chant "...r-amen...")

==============================================================================

So what do you think?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If anybody has any other ideas for Discordian or SubGenius mantras, you can post them here, by the way.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


^*see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quebec_French_profanity

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

How about using the crazy barber's psychotic outburst from episode 9 of "Monty python" as a mantra:

"Razor Razor Razor! Cut! Blood! Spurt! Artery! Murder! Hitchcock! Psycho! (Damn!)"

None of this sissy, 'jewel in the lotus' bullshit

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Is this really happening?

[Richter]

To banish exasperation and make the spirit clear for greater lulz, intone as follows:

SHIT.   FUCK.   DAMN.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

 

[AFK]

Steve Jackson mantra:
"You will be hearing from my lawyers"

amidoingitright?

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Steve Jackson mantra:
"You will be hearing from my lawyers"

amidoingitright?

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Mantra-Bismol
"Nausea Heartburn Indegestion; Upset Stomach, Diarrhea!"

The Ralph Spoilsport Mantra
"Give Me Immortality or Give Me Death"

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

The Nonindecision Mantra:
"Splunge"


The sacred syllable "Splunge", which signifies (accordfing to monty Python's Flying Circus) "it's a great-idea-but-possibly-not-and-I'm-not-being-indecisive!" and which therefore is a great syllable to all to Sri-Syadasti related mantras

The symbol of The sacred Syllable^* (According to cartoonist David Lovelace), appears below:




^*In the manner of the symbol for the syllable "Om"

[Iron Sulfide]

Ave Ave Discordia Optimus Maximus!

You realize that Optimum and Maximum mean roughly the same, right?

For the record, this kind of thread is more appropriate for the Principia Discussion or Apple Talk sub forums (not that i have any authority to move the thread or do anything at all about this, i just really fucking hate browsing the FUCKING LITERATE CHAOTIC FOR INTERESTING, INTELLIGENT DISCORDIANESQUE READING MATERIAL AND FINDING THE GIBBERISH THAT YOU SPEW FROM YOUR ANAL-PROLAPSE, That's all.)

Now, if you don't mind, i've outgrown this thread.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Ave Ave Discordia Optimus Maximus!

You realize that Optimum and Maximum mean roughly the same, right?

The title "Optimus Maximus" is directly ripped off of one of the titles of the roman god [url=http://ancienthistory.about.com/library/dailygod/blg050128.htm]Jupiter. It is usually translated as "Best and Greatest" (which are, also, basically the same... but still, it IS a valid title....).

[Iron Sulfide]

and neither pompous, arrogant- nor even unfounded. i guess you win.

can you fit a cactus in your prolapse? because, otherwise, i wouldn't consider you the "best and greatest."

TITS or GTFO

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

can you fit a cactus in your prolapse? because, otherwise, i wouldn't consider you the "best and greatest."

Ooohhh cactus! I never even thought of that.