CRAMOCALYPSE NOW

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Cram and I are way ahead of everyone in this bedlamicious conglomorate except for that deranged Randy "Macho Man" Savage clone ECH.  We've had the death ray for EIGHT YEARS. You should KISS OUR FUCKING ASSES for not having used it yet.  Yes, I'm a real tower of restraint.  If I wasn't there to hold Cram back, there'd be no one left but Cainad and Queen Gogira.  One day REAL SOON NOW, you're all going to wake up with a high-tech stigmata through your FOREHEADS.  The most you can hope for is that Cram will do the Obama cabinet first so you can see it on The Daily Show before your turn comes. PREPARE YOURSELVES, eaters of offal and I goddamn mean it.  Ever seen a Klingon dildo?  Well you're gonna.

YOU MAY NOW RETURN TO THE DWINDLING MINUTES YOU HAVE LEFT.

[Freeky]

That you compared ECH to Randy Macho Man Savage is hilarious and troof.


Also, I'll have you know that I'mma tell Enabler on you if you use that thing!

[Cramulus]

True story. Back in my mushy headed pinealist chaos mage days (wow, seems like an eternity ago, and I thank PD for helping me snap out of that), I was quite taken with this idea of creating these sigilized psychological artifacts.

(edit: yes, I know)

One day I decided I wanted to make a DEATH RAY. So first, I made a D&D character sheet for myself, and added "craft magic item" to the list of feats. In my mind, this gave me the ability to make magic items.

Then, I took a power drill and mounted a crystal where the drill bit should go.

In my mind, this device I created would draw out somebody's "death drives".

My mom was away for a week, and I threw this ridiculous five day long house party. My little brother and I got into a fight (He was on a trampoline making out with two girls at once and I uhhhh blasted them all with a garden hose. Still feel pretty bad about that, honestly. I'm an asshole)

Later, I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of a power drill. My brother was in the corner of my room, the death ray in hand, pointing it at my head and pulling the trigger. I sat up with a scream.

He didn't believe that the fucking death ray would do anything. But he knew I did. He did his best evil wizard cackle as he let me have it. I almost fell out of the bed.

Later, when we made amends, we would dismantle the death ray together, knowing that we should never let magical thinking get in the way of BROTHERHOOD.

Ever seen gone on a romantic candlelit dinner with a Klingon dildo?  Well you're gonna.

also,
FIXED

[East Coast Hustle]

OOOOH YEEEEEAH!