Paranoia Diaries: Ash Wednesday

[Richter]

Setting: Richter's Dorm room, February 2003

It was about 6 or 7PM when I finally left the dorm for food.  I'd been asleep all afternoon, but woke horrifically to my roommate's newfound affinity for John Spencer Blues Explosion.  I slowly muddled my way back into consciousness, and the music slowly gave way to evening anime programming.  "Tenchi in Tokyo" and "Outlaw Star" being poor substitute for the previously aired excellence of "Gundam Wing", I grew disaffected with the viewing.  My appeals for more stimulating entertainment in the form of people watching at a sit – in dining hall before the crowd at 8 o'clock closing time turned them into fucking madhouses were met with indifference.

Let the fuckers suffer then, I'd take care of myself, as usual.  I made my way out of the Hotel, the nickname of our recently renovated dorm, yet to be ruined by debauch and idiocy, which had the luxury of functional AC, and onto the main drag of the dorm area of campus.  I walked along, largely ignoring crowded sidewalks, as was my habit, cutting between buildings and passing quietly through dark corners most students would avoid when alone in the name of a more direct course than meandering pedestrian ways described.   (Long ago having realized that I'm likely to be the scariest thing in the dark, and I'm not looking to accost anyone.) 

I eventually came upon "Hope", the campus dining answer to cheap take out food.  It was a deli.  A shitty, slap, wrap, and go compared to better food and a great option when apathy set in and company failed.  Scanned and in line, I ordered, and was arranging chips, drinks, fruit, and ice cream (all free for the taking) in my bag when the paranoia gland decided to discharge.  SOME OF THE FUCKERS HERE WERE MARKED.  Two, three, they seemed to steadily be pouring in, all with some sort of "t" described on their forehead in ashy black.  I kept the prosaic calm up, can't let them see I've caught on.  I curtailed my food gathering, and slipping the sustenance into my bag began moving carefully towards the door.

My legs were playing bored, disaffected exit, my brain was playing "Hunt for Red October".  Every chair I passed, Sean Connery would order a firing solution plotted:  chair to window, engines continue ahead at cruising speed, engine room stand by for reverse and full power.  These folks were enough into whatever they worshipped to go out and about MARKED.  Who knows what they might want.  Hell, they could very well round up every nonbeliever student for forced conversion or long pork roast for all I knew.

The only door out was right next to the check – in, and more of the marked folks were streaming in by the minute.  I was clear of the dual obstruction / projectile possibility of the chairs and tables; I'd either glide by before they had the numbers to act, or be caught at the choke point.  Before such tense moments were needed though, I recognized the large, overly haired, and kilted form of Kevin, a fellow cynical shithead.  He also had of the mark on, and after pleasantries, explained Ash Wednesday.  Mass had just gotten out, nothing sinister.  I got back to the dorm, and reminded my roommate, who revealed that he was going to the latter mass.  CRISIS AVERTED.

Edit: spelling / repetition / tense

[Suu]

Yeah, I had to warn the work crowd that we'll be selling a lot of fish and chips today. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hahaha that was awesome!

[Raphaella]

I laughed. It was pretty funny. I really liked the "prosaic calm" expression. First time I read it as Prozac calm though. 

[Richter]

Thanks, it seriously weirded me out, but I find it kind of funny in retrospect. 

[Raphaella]

Yeah it would have weirded me out had it happened to me. It's just how you described visions of how Sean Connery would deal with the situation. Shit like that always makes me lol. I have a habit of picturing how Spider or King Mob would deal with things even when I'm having a rough time of it these thoughts always make me feel better. Plus it's reliving when you realize the paranoia was all for naught. That usually makes me take a deep breath and laugh at my self. 

[Jenne]

  I underwent a similar experience the year my husband got ill--we were in the hospital on Ash Weds, getting his blood drawn, and all these old folks were sitting around and coming into the room with these strange black marks smudged on their foreheads.  Some of the hospital workers had them too.  Then I remembered what day it was and laughed to myself, how silly I'd been in being so suspicious (I thought it was a hospital thing at first!) and not remembering.