Please reply urgently

[Aufenthatt]

Dear Sir or Gammon

I am sincerely writing to you over the issue of the aforementioned 'nature' and her apparent ineptitude in the time keeping department.
Far be it from me to tell you how to run the universe, but in my day none existent metaphors used to cast a thin veil of personified control over a clearly chaotic and untamable universe, kept to their promises.

Big Brother watched them, power corrupted them and the cat was most certainly in the hat. Yet nature has not improved them. I was expecting some level of evolution by this stage of my contract. For example, the tail socket on the end of the spine is, as far as I can tell obsolete. Either a tail add-on needs to be procured for the unit or this design flaw needs removing. Nature, despite having had several thousand years to deal with this, and more than adequate office space (paid for by the tax payer I might add) has done nothing.

I think you will actually find that the type biological model issued to me on the premise of intelligence is in fact a gross case of deception, illegal under the trades descriptions act. The model actually only seems to fill its purpose when malfunctioning.
Here is one of my problems, the programming upgrades implemented by 'nature' only serve to increase population size and social conformity.
Without almost constant monitoring this combination of huge numbers, obedience and stupidity is impacting on the welfare of the other biological units in my aquarium.
I wouldn't be so bothered if they destroyed themselves, but the persistent buggers never completely die off, neither do they evolve, this is becoming a real nuisance.

I attempted to use some pesticides on a small area but it just made the problem worse, a new strain developed and the old one repopulated. Strangely they seemed to have some sense of what was going on, but they were highly confused and eventually just adopted new idiotic behaviors.

By this point 'nature' should have divided the population biologically as stated quite clearly in the manual. One large half would return to a lower form while a small section becomes an interesting addition and 'looks after' the 'natural order' I've spent literally months developing. I thought this happened when this set killed off a stupider one, but actually that was because they didn't like there noses. Later in another nose related genocide the stupid ones tried to kill off the cleverer ones.

To begin with I was impressed when they built boats, but they just used them to sail to the island from the island expansion pack and kill all the flightless feather dusters I'd cultivated.

So, would you advise I reset 'nature' or just boil the tank and start again?

Kind regards
G.ODD the love communist

[Reginald Ret]

heh, cool.

some ideas:
- adress the letter to Chaos
- a line or two introducing the monkeys, now it seems like you confuse nature with monkeys as if we are the pinnacle of nature and im pretty sure that is not what you meant.


on a reread: nevermind, the obfuscatedness preserves the message that would otherwise be spoiled by too obvious conflicts with observed reality.

[Honey]

Dear G.ODD,

Please keep me apprised of any & all replies, specifically reset or boil? 

Fondly,
A nearly naked love monkey

[Aufenthatt]

heh, cool.

some ideas:
- adress the letter to Chaos
- a line or two introducing the monkeys, now it seems like you confuse nature with monkeys as if we are the pinnacle of nature and im pretty sure that is not what you meant.


on a reread: nevermind, the obfuscatedness preserves the message that would otherwise be spoiled by too obvious conflicts with observed reality.

Monkeys?
What did you think I was talking about?

[Template]

Humanity:
Reliability comes standard.

All funcionalities are custom jobs, though.