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STATING THE FUCKING OBVIOUS

Started by Captain Obvious, April 01, 2009, 12:47:28 AM

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Captain Obvious

April 01, 2009, 12:47:28 AM
THE CHECK IS NOT IN THE MAIL
ATHLETES, ACTORS AND EXECUTIVES ARE OVERPAID
TEACHERS AND SCIENTISTS ARE UNDERPAID
PAYING FOR BOTTLED WATER IS STUPID
EVERYONE LIES
EVERYONE MASTURBATES
NO ONE FLOSSES REGULARLY
EVERYONE IS A HYPOCRITE
YOU LOOK FUNNY NAKED
APPLE TALK, SNL AND MAD MAGAZINE HAVE ALWAYS SUCKED
NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR STORIES ABOUT YOUR CATS OR CHILDREN
90% OF CONVERSATIONS ARE CRAP
ANN COULTER AND BILL O'REILLY DON'T BELIEVE A WORD THAT THEY SAY
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS TRUE LOVE
YOUR VOTE DOESN'T COUNT
GHOSTS, ALIENS, BIGFOOT, THE LOCHNESS MONSTER AND GODS DON'T EXIST
VACCINES DO NOT CAUSE AUTISM
OJ DID IT
OSWALD DID IT
NEIL ARMSTRONG DID LAND ON THE MOON
CREATIONISTS ARE MENTALLY RETARDED
YOUR WORLDVIEW IS IRRATIONAL
EVERYONE YOU LOVE AND CARE ABOUT WILL DIE SOMEDAY
YOU WILL DIE ALONE
IN 100 YEARS NONE OF THIS WILL MATTER
THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS TODAY

hooplala

#1
April 01, 2009, 12:49:40 AM
What's the Lochness Monster?
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" — Walt Whitman

Jasper

#2
April 01, 2009, 12:50:22 AM
Actually, there is such a thing as true love.

It would be this thread not existing.

hooplala

#3
April 01, 2009, 12:50:43 AM
Also, why do 90% of alts feel the need to type in all caps?
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" — Walt Whitman

Jasper

#4
April 01, 2009, 12:51:58 AM
Quote from: Dr Hoopla on April 01, 2009, 12:50:43 AM
Also, why do 90% of alts feel the need to type in all caps?

I think it's got to do with their, like, phenotypes.  It's genetic.

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
April 01, 2009, 01:50:33 AM
You forgot one:

IASON RAPED YOUR DOG WHILE YOU WEREN'T LOOKING.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#6
April 01, 2009, 01:51:06 AM
Also, a correction:

ONE OF THE OSWALDS DID IT.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Fuquad

#7
April 01, 2009, 05:21:11 AM
I like hearing stories about peoples children.











well, if I actually know the children in question.

THE WORST FORUM ON THE INTERNET

Cain

#8
April 19, 2009, 10:30:05 PM
BUMPING THREADS IS NEVER FUNNY

Faithless

#9
April 19, 2009, 10:49:26 PM
You forgot one.

Everybody and their stinking opinions do not really matter
Oh, sonovabitch.

The Good Reverend Roger

#10
April 19, 2009, 10:54:33 PM
Quote from: Faithless on April 19, 2009, 10:49:26 PM
You forgot one.

Everybody and their stinking opinions do not really matter

Except me.

Oh, yeah, you have one more post before you hit the 50 post rule.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Murmur

#11
April 23, 2009, 08:26:01 AM
I think I missed that rule.  Probably because I'm not at 50 posts.  Durrr...
Tolerable Terror for Toddlers Legionaire, Nixon Division™

"Onlookers will be horrified and amazed by the sheer volume of fluid."--TGRR

"SaraLee, I say unto you!  If ye have a cake and halve it, and then halve it yet again, you would have four quarters and yet still not have a dollar.  Eat of that cake, for it is cake which is NOT cake, which ye may have half a mind to have at a reasonable price, yet in indecision achieve satori with said stale Moon Pie.  That's what you get when YOU FUCK WITH US." - DOUR

hooplala

#12
April 23, 2009, 01:07:33 PM
It's more of a guideline.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" — Walt Whitman

Enigma

#13
April 25, 2009, 10:54:16 PM Last Edit: April 25, 2009, 10:55:56 PM by Reverend B.S.
Maybe no one landed on the moon the way it was reported on the news   I was there.   :lulz:

Error

#14
April 26, 2009, 05:22:54 AM
Try this one on for size...No law can give you freedom, it can only take it away
I am a compulsive liar.   That's a lie.  That's a lie.  That's a lie.  That's a lie.  That's a lie.  That's a lie.  That's a lie.  That's a lie.  That's a lie.  That's a lie.  That's a lie.  That's the truth.  That's a lie.  That's a lie.  That's a lie.  That's a lie.  That's a lie.  That's a lie.  That's a lie.
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