Ah, fuck it. Throwing in my hat for an intermittens editorship.

[Cain]

Another link of goodness: http://ifile.it/e9xk8rm

Sample

You're a Belgian, and it's 1985. For three years, the province of Brabant has been traumatized by an unexplained wave of exceptionally brutal assaults upon unexceptional targets (supermarkets, restaurants, factories; the common places of ordinary people). Theft is not the motive; only small amounts of money are stolen by the hooded men, seemingly for incident, and often found dumped soon after. The motive is only terror.

From Daniele Ganser's description of the final attack, November 9, on the Delhaize supermarket in Aalst:

A prominent day in the Christmas season, November 9 is St Martin's day in Belgium, the local Santa Claus, and children on the night before leave carrots in front of the house for the horse of St Martin and go to bed with wishes for wonderful Christmas presents. The next morning, a busy Saturday, people hurried to the Delhaize supermarket to make their last minute purchases. What happened thereafter was reconstructed from the testimony of witnesses. A Volkswagon GTI was parked outside the supermarket and three armed men with hoods over their heads came out of the car. The tallest of the three produced a pump-action shotgun, opened fire at point blank range and finished off in cold blood two shoppers instantly. Upon reaching the checkout counter he began to fire randomly at anything that moved. "I saw three masked men coming out at the rear. A man said to his child "Drop down! There they are! ... One bystander who tried to flee was shot at, seven or eight bullets through his car and a shot grazing behind the ear." Total panic reigned. "One woman whose face was covered in blood, was screaming something about her child. I don't know exactly what." There was little cover or shelter for the terrified shoppers in the aisles of the supermarket from the three masked gunmen. In the ensuing massacre eight people, including a whole family, died, and seven more were injured. A husband and wife and their 14-year-old daughter were finished off in cold blood at the supermarket checkout. Another father and his nine-year old daughter were killed in their car trying to flee. The takings from the raid amounted to a meagre couple of thousand pounds, found later in a canal in an unopened sack. The killers escaped without a trace and have not been identified, nor arrested, nor tried ever since. The actors behind the series known as the Brabant massacres remain unidentified until today.

But that's not all we know.

In 1990 a parliamentary report into the massacres concluded that the killers were members or former members of the security forces: "extreme right-wingers who enjoyed high-level protection and were preparing a right-wing coup," wrote Phil Davidson in Britain's The Independent on Sunday. "The Brebant killings were part of a conspiracy to destabilize Belgium's democratic regime, possibly to prepare the ground for a right-wing coup." Just months later, the hidden architecture of fascist terror was revealed when Belgium's secret "stay behind" army - its own Gladio network - was disclosed. (It's from Ganser's NATO's Secret Armies, which tells similar stories from all across Western Europe, that the above excerpt is drawn.)

A militant branch of Belgium's extreme right-wing Front de la Jeunesse, the FJ, was called "Group G," as it was almost entirely composed of members of the Belgian Gendarmerie. The Gendarmes were also members of the military secret service, which was directed by the same branch that ran Belgium's secret army. By 1979 Group G was renamed the Westland New Post, but it remained distinct in its members' roll of military secret police. Its commander during the massacres was a man named Paul Latinus, who had been recruited in 1967 at the age of 17 by the US Defence Intelligence Agency, and until a left-wing magazine exposed him in 1981 had worked as an advisor to the Labour Minister.

In Allan Francovich's 1992 documentary Gladio he interviewed one of Group G's first members, Gendarme Martial Lekeu, who fled to Florida in 1984 after threats against his family. Lekeu testified that in 1983 he had gone to the special branch investigating the massacres with information implicating the secret service. "I was surprised that no arrests had been been made and I know that I did report myself what was going on," he told Francovich, as quoted by Ganser. "We were respecting killing like that - random killing or going into supermarkets and killing people, even kids.... So I told a gentleman I met: 'Do you realize members of the Gendarmerie of the army are involved in that?' His answer was 'Shut up! You know, we know. Take care of your own business. Get out of here!' What they were saying was that democracy was going away, the leftists were in power, the socialists and all this, and they wanted more power."

WNP member Michel Libert explained to Francovich that "One received orders. We can go back to, say, 1982. From 1982 to 1985, there were projects." Sensitive projects. He claimed he had been directed to case supermarkets: "What kind of locks are there? What sort of protection do they have that they could interfere with our operations? Does the store manager lock up? Or do they use an outside security company?" His superior told him that "You, Mr Libert, know nothing about why we're doing this. Nothing at all. All we ask is that your group, with cover from the Gendarmerie, with cover from Security, carry out a job." He adds: "We carried out the orders and sent in our reports."

From Florida, Lekeau said "the guns they were using were coming from far away and that's exactly what we had planned, to organize gangs and groups like that and let them go by themselves, but make sure they will survive and make sure to supply them and you know just to create a climate of terror in the country - [a] so-called 'Left movement" who will do a terrorist attempt just to make-believe, make the population believe that these terrorist attempts were done by the left."

Now, you're an American, and it's 2006.

[Mangrove]

LMNO,

Shin is Hebrew for 300.

If that is part of the numbering system you'll be publishing this issue from some shitty retirement home.

[Triple Zero]

But verily does not the Principia Discordia sayeth, "He who is without Shin, cast the first stone"?

[Cain]

Someone once threw a stone at me and it damn near broke my shin.

[Cainad (dec.)]

The character is the hebrew letter "shin", because I have no idea when it will be coming out, and we decided to be ordered in our issue numbering system.

I don't remember agreeing to this. I'm trying to beat number 5 to the press as we speak

[Cramulus]

PWND

[P3nT4gR4m]

 

Fuck you industrious bastards and doublefuck the one who decided to skip iss 4 thereby halving the ammount of time I have to get mine done

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Fuck you industrious bastards and doublefuck the one who decided to skip iss 4 thereby halving the ammount of time I have to get mine done

We didn't skip issue 4, we had to pull it to settle that lawsuit!

[P3nT4gR4m]

You could have waited until after issue 3 was out before it was pulled tho. That'd have given me another month 

[LMNO]

Because it got lost in the other thread:


LET IT BE KNOWN, that I intend to continue Intermittens Shin, the issue.

HOWEVER, once it is completed and posted on intermittens.org, I intend to pay each writer $0.01 a word.  So, write a couple of paragraphs, and I'll send you a dollar if it gets into the issue. Write a fantastic conspiracy theory, you'll be able to afford a six-pack.  Write a dissertation, and dinner's on me.*

That doesn't mean I'll pay anyone just for sending me some content.  As the editor, I have a thumbs up/thumbs down decision whether it goes in or not.  If I feel that it's too long, i will ask the author to trim it, rather than do it myself.  If the piece gets into the issue, I'll paypal what I owe you.

FURTHERMORE, If (if, indeed) the issue actually goes to print, and if it generates profit after production costs are met, all profits will be divided in a percentage equal to the percentage of the issue the writer contributed to.  So, if you wrote one page of a ten-page issue, you get 10% of any profits.

You might notice I don't make money off of this.  That's because I feel the contributers are more important than the publishers. Until an Intermittens business model can be proven as profitable, I don't get paid.  In fact, I lose money.

Welcome to the world of publishing.

















*Due to the variable nature of art, all graphics will be negotiated beforehand.

[hooplala]

I can't remember whether its been used in an Intermittens issue yet, but the Sacred Bull story seems like it might fit in the issue?

[Cramulus]

The Parable of the Sacred Bull is in issue 1, page 33

[hooplala]

Ah, never mind then.

[Ld. Dr. FenianTimelord FRC Chd KSC KLF 6°=5]

DISCORDIAN VOWEL SOUNDS
Their proper intonation and uses

By, Ld. Dr. Fenian Timelord FRC Chd KSC KLF 6°=5

Headmaster, Tesla Institute for the Advanced studies of Discordian Dialectics,
Discordian Chaosopher,
Archimandrite of the Kreeping Krishna Thelematic-Caodai Cabal,
Prelate, Church of the 7-Faces of Dr. Lao,
Illuminati Grand Magistrate V°,
Rosicrucian Mystic,
Master of Toast,
Lord High Temporal Pyrate,
------------------------------



HAIL ERIS!

Many students to western Mysticism may or may not be familiar with the Rosicrucian use of Vowel Sounds. But for the purposes of this monograph no prior knowledge of it is necessary which of course makes this whole sentence pointless. HEEHE!

In order to better manifest and channel the Eristic principles in the MEGABIGTOTALLYHUGEFUCKOFF multiverse; the ancient use of Discordian Vowel sounds that I just made up complete an easy hands on approach to changing the matter and vibrations around you, seriously if you don't believe me try and use the following (Patent Pending) Discordian Vowel Sounds of which there are 5!

1. HEEHE-
(pronounced like Michael Jackson would in a song)
This Vowel Sound affects the psychic centers located within your cecum and is used to declare your intent to intend to do something esoteric and mystical.

2. PHTTT-
(Pronounced like a fart noise)
The all purpose Vowel Sound of PHTTT awakens your pineal gland and vibrates at a frequency of 1.21
Jigga-Watz. It is used for whatever purpose you want it to serve at that time. To properly use this sound, make the Sign of Eristic Blessing (Think peace sign or roman numeral 5) inhale deeply and make a long loud PHTTT! The manifestations should become apparent immediately if performed properly (whatever that is)

3.OWWWW!
(Pronounced like James Brown)
This Vowel Sound is used to heal and balance the Hodge and Podge. The use of this Vowel Sound has been known to raise certain people's vibrations many many levels from one single intonation. It is an all purpose feel good tonic Sound

4. EEWWW
(Pronounced like Gladys Ridgeford after taking a shot of bourbon)
This vowel sound affects the central nervous system and bowels of men. In women it affects the vaginal folds. Use this Vowel Sound for random displays of FNORD. When used frequently you will be able to perceive a large auric "G" extending outward above your head.

5. WHHOA
(Pronounced like a stereotypical surfer-guy)
This Sound is used when you want to increase the energy output of whatever it is that you are doing for example to increase the healing vibration you would intone: OWWWW-WHHOA!

Enjoy using these Discordian Vowel Sounds in your daily practices and experience the wonders you can create. Of course Vowel Sounds can be combined to manifest more complex vibration thingies if you so choose, or of course you can completely disregard everything I've shown you in this monograph because its it utter crap..............Or IS IT????

AVE DISCORDIA!

[Rumckle]

Fenian, ah, welcome to the board I guess, while I think that stuff you posted was better than other pineal-fnord crap we sometimes get, may I suggest this thread isn't the best place for it, we may have other intermittens things being worked on atm (I can't remember) so you could go hunt those threads down for it, as not to clog up LMNO's issue on or try "bring and brag"

Also, I noticed in your sig you have a radio station-esque sight, may I suggest you check out our radiofreediscordia.org project, there's also a thread on that in the meta forum.

anyways, enjoy