BIP revamp?

[Roaring Biscuit!]

I've made a start on the first 2/3 pages (thought I'm really not sure what to do about the second page, it doesn't lend itself well to illustration:()

And I've actually ended up trimming down on written content very significantly, which has been nice, as it spurred some of my own thoughts into action, e.g.

The last paragraph on my first page goes something like

You were Born to Be here.
It's your Life
The Cold Trap of your own Existence
You painted yourself into a Corner

(insert fairly predictable doodle )

All you have to realise is:

No one Cares if you have Paint on your Shoes.

like it?

It's all hand written thus far (maybe why I cut down on text so much, I'm aware my hand writing can get pretty illedgible)

Another metaphor type thing came up for me on the 3rd page (Who Wrote This?), works best with the doodle which is of a magician type entertaining people and a lone figure at one side next to the text:  His Illusion is Optional, Yours is Necessary.

Comments?  Flames?  Praise?

x

edd

p.s.  I'll scan some in when I have some time so you can all see the pretty pictures

[Cainad (dec.)]

personally, I don't know what people are getting worked up about ITT.

You forget; P3nt is a dick.

Specifically, a dick who enjoys pouncing as soon as the 50 post-mark is reached. Example:

That crap was added in during I believe the Eisenhower administration - right around the McCarthy "Red Menace" years - to "combat" the threat of those godless commies. Since we were obviously their opposite, that apparently made us godfearing capitalists. Since no one on the Hill at the time had any chance of standing up to the Communism witch hunt (and since voting against something like that is easy re-election fodder for the opponent) it went through with almost without opposition.

Thanks 1950s government! 

I've always hated that 'godfearing' shit. What kind of assholes WANT to be frightened of their omnipotent, supposedly loving deity? Sounds like BDSM spirituality to me.

Fuck off you twat!

yay 50posts 

[Roaring Biscuit!]

thanks for the heads up.

[Roaring Biscuit!]

sorry for double post (not that sorry tho...)

here is page 1http://rapidshare.de/files/46728855/BIPpg1.JPG.html
and 3 http://rapidshare.de/files/46728856/BIPpg3.jpg.html

(by your original), still deciding how to interpret your page 2.

plus a revamped black sheep posterhttp://rapidshare.de/files/46728854/blacksheepfinal.jpg.html

Enjoy, feedback much appreciated

Edd

[AFK]

Ugh, we get one of these threads every year it seems like.  How bout letting sleeping dogs lie and try something different eh?  Also, I would very much appreciate my piece also not be truncated or fixed in any manner.  That would be "A Conclusion Is Simply Where You Stopped Thinking". 

Also, I've only looked at your first page so far, if your goal is to make the BIP, less "dark", you are going in the wrong direction. 

[P3nT4gR4m]

Specifically, a dick who enjoys pouncing as soon as the 50 post-mark is reached. Example:

Bullshit! 9 times out of 10 I jump in well before 50. This one I'm not absolutely sure about so I'm biding my time. It might take 50 it might take 150 but one thing is for sure - If and when the time comes I will be a dick about it

[Roaring Biscuit!]

Ugh, we get one of these threads every year it seems like.  How bout letting sleeping dogs lie and try something different eh?  Also, I would very much appreciate my piece also not be truncated or fixed in any manner.  That would be "A Conclusion Is Simply Where You Stopped Thinking". 

Also, I've only looked at your first page so far, if your goal is to make the BIP, less "dark", you are going in the wrong direction. 

yeh maybe not less dark... turns out im rubbish at drawing happy stuff. 'specially based on the material  

as for letting sleeping dogs lie, I'm not entirely sure what is meant by that, I understand that the BIP was completed several years ago... wel basically what I'm trying to say is that this is someting that I enjoy doing i.e.  looking at a piece of writing, and then drawing from the inspiration it gives me.

Maybe I misread the BIP, but isn't that sort of what you wanted?  for people to read it and be inspired?

anyways, I'm gonna go ahead anyway cause I enjoy it, but thanks for the heads up on reuse of your work

Edd

[AFK]

Well, don't listen to me as I'm pretty much in the minority regarding BIP revamps anyway.  I guess I'm somewhat of a purist sometimes when it comes to writing and art.  I think an original expression taps into something that, IMO, a revamp can't.  It's like, okay, we've done that, we've said that, we've expressed that.  Let's continue to celebrate it, distribute it, etc., but it is what it is.  It's imperfect but it's the imperfections that give it character. 

My favorite version of the BIP is still the first version that LMNO hammered out during his lunch hour.  This is no slight to Cram or anyone else who has retouched it, because Cram did a marvelous job on his version.  I just liked the simple, streamlined version where all you had were the words on the pages.  And maybe that's why so many have found it so heavy, there were no visuals to break it up, nothing else to focus on but what was being said. 

Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now. 

[LMNO]

 

Thanks, man.

TSo,  You can do what you like to my essays (Welcome to Prison, The Nature of Reality), but unless you completely hack them apart and rebuild them, credit would be nice.

I would, however, encourage you to come up with your own metaphor.  Talk to Ratatosk about his Golden Submarine (or Roller Coaster, or whatever the hell he came up with).  That might set you off in a new direction.

[Roaring Biscuit!]

Well I appreciate that opinion (and agree on many points), and myself, as i start to bump into the bits of work that don't want to be changed, have come to the realisation that I think I'll be using BIP more as a springboard fro something new(ish), as clearly there are a lot of bits that people don't want changing, but that I want to do in a different way.

Edd

EDIT:

Thanks, man.

TSo,  You can do what you like to my essays (Welcome to Prison, The Nature of Reality), but unless you completely hack them apart and rebuild them, credit would be nice.

I would, however, encourage you to come up with your own metaphor.  Talk to Ratatosk about his Golden Submarine (or Roller Coaster, or whatever the hell he came up with).  That might set you off in a new direction.

I intend to have a lot of metaphors rather than jsut one actually...  I'll have to write about that in more depth methinks..

[Cramulus]

downloading now... gotta say, rapidshare is a really slow way to get these files. I downloaded the first two, and on the third one it said, "You have reached the maximum download limit for free users."

You should host them on photobucket or imageshack or something.

It looks like you've put some time into this, so I'm sure you'd appreciate honest feedback... it's the only way the creative engine moves forward...

from what I've seen so far
they're okay.

I applaud your effort to rewrite what you don't like. I really do think that's a good habit, especially with (mostly) Kopyleft text like this. We occasionally get people in here that like the BIP thing but don't like some element of its presentation - that's fine, I've always thought of it as a work in progress, even though I wasn't around for it's initial days. As a community, we're all about creative output so I think it's healthy to leave no sacred chao untipped.

That being said, this version does look darker than the original. I'm not sure that it gained anything by stripping out text, as some of those pieces were kind of short to begin with. With less text to anchor you, I don't get as clear of a message from the pages. But personally, I don't think the "miscommunication" we were experiencing was from too much text. The handwritten text gives it a sort of "notebook" texture, which is less professional feeling.

On page 1, the dark bars overlap the text and make it hard to read.
On page 3, I think the text block on the right is a good selection. The sun and banner image is kind of rough though - looks more like a notebook doodle than an illustration.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Well I appreciate that opinion (and agree on many points), and myself, as i start to bump into the bits of work that don't want to be changed, have come to the realisation that I think I'll be using BIP more as a springboard fro something new(ish), as clearly there are a lot of bits that people don't want changing, but that I want to do in a different way.

Edd

EDIT:

Thanks, man.

TSo,  You can do what you like to my essays (Welcome to Prison, The Nature of Reality), but unless you completely hack them apart and rebuild them, credit would be nice.

I would, however, encourage you to come up with your own metaphor.  Talk to Ratatosk about his Golden Submarine (or Roller Coaster, or whatever the hell he came up with).  That might set you off in a new direction.

I intend to have a lot of metaphors rather than jsut one actually...  I'll have to write about that in more depth methinks..

I found the BiP a bit less optimistic than I liked, so I wrote my own little metaphor:
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=19655.0

[Cainad (dec.)]

I can't even access Rapidshare from my school.

[Cramulus]

ah I'll rehost on the womp cabal bucket---

[Roaring Biscuit!]

downloading now... gotta say, rapidshare is a really slow way to get these files. I downloaded the first two, and on the third one it said, "You have reached the maximum download limit for free users."

You should host them on photobucket or imageshack or something.

It looks like you've put some time into this, so I'm sure you'd appreciate honest feedback... it's the only way the creative engine moves forward...

from what I've seen so far
they're okay.

I applaud your effort to rewrite what you don't like. I really do think that's a good habit, especially with (mostly) Kopyleft text like this. We occasionally get people in here that like the BIP thing but don't like some element of its presentation - that's fine, I've always thought of it as a work in progress, even though I wasn't around for it's initial days. As a community, we're all about creative output so I think it's healthy to leave no sacred chao untipped.

That being said, this version does look darker than the original. I'm not sure that it gained anything by stripping out text, as some of those pieces were kind of short to begin with. With less text to anchor you, I don't get as clear of a message from the pages. But personally, I don't think the "miscommunication" we were experiencing was from too much text. The handwritten text gives it a sort of "notebook" texture, which is less professional feeling.

On page 1, the dark bars overlap the text and make it hard to read.
On page 3, I think the text block on the right is a good selection. The sun and banner image is kind of rough though - looks more like a notebook doodle than an illustration.

Much appreciated, I think that when I said less dark, what I actually meant was less.. rigid?  Or your point about it looking less professional, because I sorta hate professionalism in a way, I hate for things to look neat and organised, as I think that sort of environment limits creativity...

So I'm almost glad that you feel its less professional...

Other points:

Tha dark bars overlapping text was purposeful, because for me, the hadwritten bits are the most important from that text, and I wanted to add some texture in that area, to compliment the figure.

Though I completely agree about the world banner thing...  Might have to redo that.

To be honest (as far as miscommunication etc. goes), I'm still not entirely sure what my version will improve on etc. it might not imporve at all in the end, but its been fun so far, plus it makes me think WAY more about the messages in the BIP.

I think maybe I'm trying to make it more bohemian?  and I'm gonna have to cut down on the "hey kids" 'cause I'm english and it doesnt sit right with me :P

Edd

p.s.  I hosted on rapidshare cause I didnt think photobucket would let me upload images that size... 'pparently I was wrong.