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FREEBASE

Started by Novatore, May 03, 2009, 05:53:18 PM

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Novatore

May 03, 2009, 05:53:18 PM
the best freaking game on the planet
INTRODUCTION

Most of you reading these rules are familiar with role playing; your older brother was "into" it in high school, some of your friends said they "did" it in their basement when their parents were away on vacation in Chippawa Falls, your Uncle Jerry got "sentenced to twenty with no parole" for it a couple of years back, or perhaps you've been tempted by the magazines and odd paraphernalia on the dust-blanketed shelves of a comic book store. You've even seen "gamers" in school, standing in strange cabalistic knots in the corner of the lunchroom, chirping giddily about the  mysteries of "petrification saves." Watching them, you were frightened, disgusted, yet secretly longing to understand, if only to find out what "Thieves Cant" was.

Well, no longer need you live in fear of becoming a universally loathed, shambling social pariah. Now you may at last feel free to join them, because not only has gaming recently achieved  astonishing new heights of popularity, there is one game almost everybody plays: FREEBASE.

Who do we mean by "everybody"? We mean everybody. Your friends. Your family. The postman. Look in the next room. See your mom there? She's playing. Do you think she'd let you live here for three years past when you quit college if she wasn't waiting for you to figure it out? Think about it. We've all been waiting for you. Join us. We can't play without you.

---

HOW TO BEGIN

We will start play tomorrow morning, so put on a pot of coffee, stay up and read these rules again and again. It is very important that you memorize every word because any rules infraction will result in your being asked to leave the game. You will not be given another copy. When you have adequately dedicated the following to memory, set your alarm for 7:45 EST, swallow the pills enclosed with this pamphlet, and get some sleep. When you wake up, you will be in the world of FREEBASE -- you may notice the remarkable similarity to your own world, but don't be alarmed,
just enjoy. Don't pack anything but what you can stuff in your pockets (suggestions for first level equipment will be given later) and you'll be ready to begin. Now, to signify to other players that yu have joined the game, touch a match to this booklet and set fire to the drapes, couch, and rug (creative players wake extra early to venture into their basement for proper
accelerants). Head out the door, and you're on your way (don't worry about waking your family -- remember, they're in on this too, and will have prepared in advance). Now when you see other incidents of "arson", you can rejoice in knowing that it is just another player entering the adventurous and fun filled world of FREEBASE!! Also, make sure this booklet burns completely,
especially this company's return address. 

the rest here
http://www.squid.org/freebase.html

Payne

#1
May 03, 2009, 05:58:09 PM

The Good Reverend Roger

#3
May 03, 2009, 06:14:46 PM
:bacon:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Novatore

#4
May 03, 2009, 06:20:13 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on May 03, 2009, 06:11:56 PM
Quote from: Novatore on May 03, 2009, 05:53:18 PM
http://www.squid.org/freebase.html

actually, I  :lulz:'d a few times



I used to have a copy of the booklet It came with the RPG Human Occupied Landfill (which is worth getting just for the laughs)
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 03, 2009, 06:14:46 PM
:bacon:

Listen Rev: thanks for the offer but im a vegetarian so all your bacon is being wasted.

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
May 03, 2009, 06:21:41 PM
:bacon:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Novatore

#6
May 03, 2009, 06:55:29 PM
no matter how many times you tell that joke i cant stop laughing
geez your really trying to impress me
but im already taken

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
May 03, 2009, 07:02:25 PM
:bacon:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Novatore

#8
May 03, 2009, 07:03:12 PM
word to your mother

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
May 03, 2009, 07:04:18 PM
:bacon:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Payne

#10
May 03, 2009, 07:33:54 PM

Roaring Biscuit!

#11
May 03, 2009, 07:42:59 PM
when will the bacon end?

Novatore

#12
May 03, 2009, 07:47:37 PM
yeah you would think they got the hint already
i

Dedalus

#13
May 03, 2009, 10:11:18 PM
I kind of thought this was going somewhere, but then it took a hard left turn and lost me.  I think this would be better if people weren't invited to do dumb things in the game, however amusing it might be to read; the idea started out with potential to create fun in someone's day.
"Writing in English is the most ingenious torture ever devised for sins committed in previous lives. The English reading public explains the reason why."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#14
May 03, 2009, 11:13:32 PM
Quote from: Dedalus on May 03, 2009, 10:11:18 PM
I kind of thought this was going somewhere, but then it took a hard left turn and lost me.  I think this would be better if people weren't invited to do dumb things in the game, however amusing it might be to read; the idea started out with potential to create fun in someone's day.

Second post :mittens:

I like you already.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

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