
My fellow Americans.
::feedback::
Sorry. Heh heh heh.
I am pleased to accept my party's nomination for sainthood.
In the words of that great American, Yogi Berra, "I want to thank you for making this day necessary."
Undoubtably many of you are thinking, what does the President of the United States have to do with Discordianism? The answer is, of course, nothing what so ever. But that never stopped Al Gore from inventing the internet and I whupped his ass. And I whupped Saddam Hussezitname.
This great honor I humbly accept in the tradition of all great American evangeli, er, Presidents. I remember when I first said, "When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were. It was us versus them, and it was clear who them was. Today we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there." It seemed just like yesterday.
And then I said, "Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods." Doesn't that bring a tear to your eye?
In conclusion I want to say I did not collude with either Hotsuma or Prince Tacos Jonies for this honor. Whatever happens let the best man win and that best man is me or I am not my father's best man.
You may go back to working for Disney and McDonald's now.

Note: The password to President Bush is still in the public domain. ("GeorgeW") Doesn't anyone want to play?