ITT: Original Story Ideas

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

A combination of Pinnochio, Child's Play, Child's Play 4: The Bride of Chucky, and Big Trouble in Little China. A puppet comes to life but wants to become a real. In order to do this he must find and marry another living puppet and then kill her. This will appease the blue fairy who will then allow her power to be invoked to transfer his soul into the body of a real boy.

EDIT:
some other misc ideas:

*Comedy Skit: The Phantom of the Opera is sued for identity theft by the actual Angel of Music

*A relatively realistic giant mech film where the mechs merely walking tears up the street like a Ratte Land Cruiser

[tyrannosaurus vex]

In the year 2440, a techno-Utopian Earth finally makes first contact with not one but an entire array of advanced extraterrestrial civilizations. They have been around for a while, waiting for humans to grow the fuck up and join their galactic good guy club. But the pressure is on because everyone faces a threat from hostile invaders from outside the galaxy. Earth's probation period is expedited in light of this, and is granted full membership. Everything is going well until some asshole opens a time capsule from 2020 and inadvertently causes an outbreak of etho-nationalism and alt-right racism that sours the deal just in time to fuck up the war and get everyone killed.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

It occurs to me that the "overly elaborate and exotic death" coversation from Austin Powers 1 could easily be transplanted into a cop movie as a discussion between the by the book cop (doing Dr.Evil's lines) and the loose-cannon cop (doing Scott Evil's lines) talking about someone they've just caught in the act of committing a capital offense

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

After the existence of crystal energy / crystal healing is scientifically verified, research money pours into the production of novel synthetic crystals with novel shapes. However, reality warps around these research labs because what the crystals are really doing is refracting thought & intent into the physical world in particular (consistent, predictable, but mostly unknown) ways.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Skit: One of the police precogs is racist and always blames a black person for every crime. To avoid prosecution for a crime he definitely did commit our protagonist must find the minority report.

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

Unbeknownst to his employers or enemies, a James Bond style secret agent is a buffoon of below-average cunning, entirely dependent upon the advice of his wise-cracking telepathic sentient corsage (an alien, who has his own hidden goals). As a result, cold war spy-fi slowly unfolds into interplanetary intrigue.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Two similar horror stories:

*The south will rise again when the stars are right

*When there's no more room in Hell the south will rise again

EDIT:
Another idea:

A combination of The Ring and that ridiculous myth that Revolt in the Stars will make you die of pneumonia

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

A semiconductor research lab accidentally creates a bimetallic wafer that, when current flows through it, creates a chain reaction among nitrogen atoms such that they hold each other in place within some small distance (and exert no hold on each other beyond that distance), with the extents of this change limited to some field of unknown type. The result: through several unknown mechanisms, a cone of air ends up having the consistency of foam rubber, while also becoming slightly opaque. The size of the cone is dependent upon the wafer size and the amount of current (scaling linearly); if the current is removed the cone stays, but it will disappear if the same current is sent the other way through the cone. Because of the distance limits, hollow things can be encapsulated in this field without their insides becoming solid -- meaning that a living creature can be held in such a field so long as their orifices are sticking out. Very quickly, this mechanism replaces packing materials; more slowly, it starts to be used as a restraining device in prison systems. However, widespread access to these wafers (they are literally embedded in mail-order boxes) creates some potential problems: putting aside the problem of suffocation, the consistency of the field is entirely dependent upon the amount of nitrogen, and while earth's atmosphere creates a nice soft foam-rubber consistency, pure nitrogen becomes hard as diamonds. In the same way that juvenile delinquents didn't take long to recognize that aerosol sprays were flammable, they didn't take long to recognize that puffing a tank of pure nitrogen into the air and then solidifying it would create an incredibly sharp blade with finely serrated edges encased in a cone of foam rubber.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

I've got this idea kicking around for an Otterbox commercial where Russel Crowe is using a phone protected by a defender case to beat the crap out of one of the guys from jackass and then afterward they show that the phone is ok

EDIT:
And yes I am aware that the incident this is refrenceing hapoened over a decade ago and involved a landline phone rather than a cellphone; that's part of what makes it funny

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Comedy Skit: Spoof of the Hellraiser series involving someone who resembles the peddler from Hellraiser 1 and is selling cheap knockoffs of Lemanchand's Box that are actually just Rubik's Cubes with reflective pseudometallic foil sides with weird runes painted over them. When these puzzles are solved they summon a cadre of underwhelming cenobite demons consisting of a girl with a nose ring, a guy with face tattoos, and a guy with a q-tip stuck too far into his ear (which is visibly bleeding).
(Inspired by a crappy bootleg of Hellraiser 3 that someone sold me at a flea market)

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

A semiconductor research lab accidentally creates a bimetallic wafer that, when current flows through it, creates a chain reaction among nitrogen atoms such that they hold each other in place within some small distance (and exert no hold on each other beyond that distance), with the extents of this change limited to some field of unknown type. The result: through several unknown mechanisms, a cone of air ends up having the consistency of foam rubber, while also becoming slightly opaque. The size of the cone is dependent upon the wafer size and the amount of current (scaling linearly); if the current is removed the cone stays, but it will disappear if the same current is sent the other way through the cone. Because of the distance limits, hollow things can be encapsulated in this field without their insides becoming solid -- meaning that a living creature can be held in such a field so long as their orifices are sticking out. Very quickly, this mechanism replaces packing materials; more slowly, it starts to be used as a restraining device in prison systems. However, widespread access to these wafers (they are literally embedded in mail-order boxes) creates some potential problems: putting aside the problem of suffocation, the consistency of the field is entirely dependent upon the amount of nitrogen, and while earth's atmosphere creates a nice soft foam-rubber consistency, pure nitrogen becomes hard as diamonds. In the same way that juvenile delinquents didn't take long to recognize that aerosol sprays were flammable, they didn't take long to recognize that puffing a tank of pure nitrogen into the air and then solidifying it would create an incredibly sharp blade with finely serrated edges encased in a cone of foam rubber.

Does it stay solid after the current is shut off?

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

A semiconductor research lab accidentally creates a bimetallic wafer that, when current flows through it, creates a chain reaction among nitrogen atoms such that they hold each other in place within some small distance (and exert no hold on each other beyond that distance), with the extents of this change limited to some field of unknown type. The result: through several unknown mechanisms, a cone of air ends up having the consistency of foam rubber, while also becoming slightly opaque. The size of the cone is dependent upon the wafer size and the amount of current (scaling linearly); if the current is removed the cone stays, but it will disappear if the same current is sent the other way through the cone. Because of the distance limits, hollow things can be encapsulated in this field without their insides becoming solid -- meaning that a living creature can be held in such a field so long as their orifices are sticking out. Very quickly, this mechanism replaces packing materials; more slowly, it starts to be used as a restraining device in prison systems. However, widespread access to these wafers (they are Figuratively embedded in mail-order boxes) creates some potential problems: putting aside the problem of suffocation, the consistency of the field is entirely dependent upon the amount of nitrogen, and while earth's atmosphere creates a nice soft foam-rubber consistency, pure nitrogen becomes hard as diamonds. In the same way that juvenile delinquents didn't take long to recognize that aerosol sprays were flammable, they didn't take long to recognize that puffing a tank of pure nitrogen into the air and then solidifying it would create an incredibly sharp blade with finely serrated edges encased in a cone of foam rubber.

Does it stay solid after the current is shut off?

Yes. It's solid until you reverse the current (sort of like how a memristor retains its resistance across the read gate until you reverse the current on the write gate).

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

Consciousness is a memetic parasite, siphoning important resources into its own reproduction rather than ours. After ten thousand years, we're finally beginning to evolve a resistance to it...

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Comedy Skit: Dr. Heiter (from Human Centipede: First Sequence) explains the holy trinity

[minuspace]

Comedy Skit: Dr. Heiter (from Human Centipede: First Sequence) explains the holy trinity

"For we only recognize One God, butt it is by thought that the difference is perceived."