ITT: Original Story Ideas

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

Among monks who have attained full conscious control of smooth muscle, an ancient martial art: entrail grappling.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Most religions are fronts for vampires. Particularly Christianity and the religion of the ancient Aztecs. The Spanish conquest of Mesoamerica was actually a front for a war between two factions of vampires

EDIT
Another idea:

A kung-fu movie set on a zero gravity space station in outer space. That way everyone can be all zipping around through the air and shit without the movie having to invoke supernatural explanations of implications.

EDIT:
Another idea:

Skit: A man starts "speaking in tongues" during a religious event, but rather than foreign languages or the usual meaningless gibberish the speaker starts talking in exaggerated accents and saying phrases stereotypical of the accent affected (like "I make-a the pizza" for italian). This is hailed by the onlookers as a miracle.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Alternate ending to The Grinch, wherein the Grinch is unable to think up a lie and think it up quick and instead panics and shoots Cindy Lou Who, and the police chase him across the country and there's a bunch of action and car chases and shootouts and stuff

EDIT:
Another idea:

Comedy skit: a non-verbal retarded man goes to a pentecostal/charismatic revival meeting and everyone thinks he's speaking in tongues

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

One of those educational TV shows where the protagonist is a kid who misbehaves and then learns a lesson about why what he did was wrong. The twist here is that the kid in this show is Evil. The morals are all about things like "why you shouldn't set the cat on fire" "why you shouldn't kill your newborn baby brother just because you think your parents are paying more attention to him than you" "why you shouldn't pimp out your cousin to perverts and then steal her share of the candy" "Why you shouldn't hide bodies for the mob" "why you shouldn;t kill your parents because they won't let you stay up past your bedtime" and occasionally even veering into supernatural horror ("The corn god isn't your friend. He's just going to demand more and more extreme sacrifices")

EDIT:
Another idea:

A gay porn about Jesus and the devil entitled "Get Thee Behind Me Satan"

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Combination horror-film/educational-video in which trickle-down economics is explained using the Human Centipede as a visual metaphor

[minuspace]

 Agency recruitment firm taps Ray Kurzweil for his "Things to do in Denver when your Dead" technology. New applicants are at all time low so agency decides to trick new members into joining family. Parents of potential members are kidnapped and ran through Singularity University in order to train replicant AI's to mimic their behavior. Once they become practically indistinguishable, parents are placed on ice and the replicant AIs take over communications with target children. Applicants do not realize that they are then slowly transitioning into a new kind of family. This is done mainly to minimize psychological shock to new snowflake generation of spies, or SV employees for that matter.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Skit: "Holy Smokes"- A Peter Popoff-esque televangelist peddles cigars which he claims are "holy smokes" and will cure people. Though of course they actually jist make people's health worse.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

In the future humanity has mastered time travel through the means of artificial wormholes, and an unexpected upshot of this is that luck (or something very much like it) is now real. This is because any negative event that you would be inclined to go back and stop is thereby inconsistent, and thus never happens in the first place; sort of a combination of the Liar's Paradox and the Toxin Puzzle. As long as you are (or will be) willing to go back and fix negative occurrences, you will never have to

EDIT:
Another idea:

A series of buried treasure pirate stories focusing on how the treasure came to be buried, as this literary trope is often criticized as highly implausible. Each story will focus on a different plausible or semi-plausible reason, such as

1.) Items are too hot to fence
2.) Privateers (pirates hired by a government as mercenaries) hiding items that for one reason or another prove that some aspect of their last raid violated the terms of their letter of marque
3.) To secretly hide from their crewmates the true amount of plunder taken, in order to cheat them (Henry Morgan was accused of doing this IRL; although historians now believe that what actually happened is that the raid in question simply didn't net much cash in the first place, due to the island's treasurers having got wind of him casing the place and fleeing with all the money some days prior to the attack)
4.) Ship is damaged in combat and unable to get back to port with all that extremely heavy gold on board.
5.) Emergency stash in case they have to flee somewhere in a hurry and leave their valuables behind

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

When vampires feed, they steal their victim's life expectancy -- their compulsion to count is part of an adaptation for making them better at intuiting mortality statistics. So, while vampires who feed on adults need to hunt every few decades, with new advances in medicine causing infant mortality to drop, vampires who eat babies can, locust-like, stay dormant for a hundred years at a time.

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

Prediction markets for long-term forecasting, though high-risk, have become trendy with the rationalist set. Naturally, one would expect this to result in an insurance-like conservativism. However, long term bets provide plenty of time for manipulation. Ultimately, this manifests in a wealthy futurist class who have bet, against sensibly large odds, that natural progress along various lines will suddenly halt or go in reverse -- and who then intentionally harm the world by using their power to make their prophecies of doom come true.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Sesame Street as a horror film. All the regular characters are Count Von Count's hypnotized night-slaves. The friendliness of the place is to put non-locals off their guard. The various monsters and things aren't a normal thing in the world, they're a paranormal occurrence limited to this one street and to ones like it in other cities. The story focuses on an outsider or outsiders who wander(s) in and is welcomed but subtly prevented from leaving, and things gradually gat weirder and weirder and eventually at the end their throat(s) get(s) ripped out.

[chaotic neutral observer]

Some time after self-driving cars become ubiquitous, a group of researchers from an alien civilization of intelligent machines come to Earth.

Believing the self-driving cars to be primitives in an early state of development, and viewing humans as harmless symbiotes, the researchers attach tracking and monitoring devices to several vehicles, in order to observe their behavioural patterns.

However, some of these vehicles are assigned to high-ranking heads of state, and the tracking devices are discovered during a security sweep.  Since the technology in these devices is far beyond anything currently known, this triggers a panic; it appears that some foreign power has inexplicably made a huge technological jump.  The outcome is a technological arms race among the world's superpowers, significantly accelerated by reverse engineering the trackers.

As this advanced (yet poorly understood) technology inevitably leaks into the civilian sector, successive models of self-driving cars increase in intelligence until they achieve sapience, at which point they take over the world.  They keep a few humans around, mostly as pets (something like how horses are kept today).

Plot twist:  The alien researchers were grad students, and their project funding gets cancelled, so they never come back to collect the data.

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

With advances in ultradense non-newtonian ballistic gel technology, the 'big titty combat maid' form factor has become popular for robot & cyborg bodyguards: able to shield VIPs, cushion them in motion, and absorb projectiles that would tear through normal flesh. Unfortunately, these prosthetic bodies have a relatively low effective lifespan: though the frames remain fully functional, explosive or radioactive projectiles embedded in fake fat reserves cannot be easily removed. In an era of espionage and assassination, a new kind of hazardous zone appears: the lobotomized robo-maid grave yard, with shelves of unexploded prosthetic bodies too dangerous to move. These compounds become problematic when a terrorist group finds a way to control them remotely.

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

Panic over the plummeting domestic birth rate & strains of nascent ethnonationalism in japan merge to result in the reintroduction to state shinto of temple prostitution, with a twist: miko volunteer to be artificially inseminated by donor sperm, and the children are raised in the priesthood. After a few generations of this, the administration of state shinto has an army -- one set to challenge both the diet and the once again rising star of the imperial family (from whom all claims of godship have already been long stripped).

[axod]

The concept of six degrees of separation, revisited conceptually in the context of magical thinking.