ITT: Original Story Ideas

[axod]

The Oath, except that everyone has to choose to either be a soldier or a spook.

[edit] Something detective-like about a cult ritually sacrificing people by first branding their symbol on the inside of their eyelids, then, for posterity, cutting them off. Except that everything, from the victim's perspective, does not seem so sinister.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

A retelling of A Christmas Carol goes off the rails when the narrator confuses Jacob Marley with Bob Marley, Bob marley with BOB Dobbs, and BOB Dobbs with Lou Dobbs (EDIT: and Lou Dobbs with Louis Quatorze the Sun King)

EDIT:
Another idea:

A skit advertises "breath mints for your butthole"

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

A ridiculous homeopathy superhero who was born when somebody got menstural blood on freshly laundered hotel linens and, by the principle of dilution the union of the diluted egg in the menstural blood and the diluted sperm in he hotel sheets created a superhuman creature

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Two related ideas that could either be combined or done seperately

*"Dementtio" In the shop of a lonely puppetmaker a puppet shaped like an old man comes to life

*A puppet in the image of a particular old man comes to life and gains the original's memories as the original loses them to senility

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Skit spoofing the Left Twix-Right Twix commercials. The skit introduces "Far Left Twix" which is made by political prisoners in a gulag, and "Far Right Twix" which is made by black slaves and/or made out of jews.

EDIT:
Another idea:

"For He's A Jolly Goodfellow" - The tale of Santa Claus' sordid past as a hitman for the mob

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Satirical comedy. It starts in a factory in the flyover states, where a redneck woman is talking to a coworker. She launches into an anti-immigration tirade, "they're living off the government, they're bringing drugs, they're taking our jobs". The friend replies that they don't believe that. The redneck woman then launches into a convoluted story about how immigrants pushed her out of her previous career as a drug dealing welfare queen. This flashback forms the bulk of the movie.

(like, I can't be the only person who's noticed that those arguments, taken together, imply that the speaker's ideal preferred job is drug dealer)

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

A TV show that teaches children that they should share even when big business says its not ok. The show's villains are businessmen who try to stop them from doing things like transferring non-transferrable items, sharing their steam and netflix logins, and copying CDs and mp3s. The show will also teach them how to do these things things discretely so that the evil businessmen won't bother them. I legitimately think we need a children;s show like this.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

A primitive tribe of islanders consisting of the inbred distant descendants of the cast of Gilligan's Island

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

*A sci-fi story wherein artificial gravity is achieved via the ventilation system; Pressurized air enters rooms from vents in the "ceiling" and blows everything downwards towards grates in the floor

*Best Buds- the story of two anthropomorphic marijuana plants who are friends

*A mockumentary mashing up true crime documentaries, search for bigfoot documentaries, and Star Wars. The plot is that DEA agents are searching for Sasquach, who they suspect has been smuggling drugs into the country

*A man's reflection begins saying threatening things. By the end of the story it turns out he's not insane, there really is something paranormal going on, however it is not malevolent, the reflection is practicing for a part as a villain in a play

*As sort of an expansion of the previous: There's a real world on the other side of the mirror, but the actions and locations of the people on different sides only (and always) coincide when they are in front of mirrors. The story compares the days of several people with the same day as experienced by their counterparts

EDIT:

*On a certain world Azathoth is known as V.A.L.O.R. - Vast Active Living Omnipotent Retard

[Al Qədic]

A slasher story where the antagonists are candymakers. I can't be the only one who looks at molten sugar or a candy cane and thinks "well this could be weaponized by some unhinged professional"...right?

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

A convoluted story whose conclusion combines the greatest twist endings of all time into a single super twist ending. All I've got so far though is that his sled was a ghost the whole time.

EDIT:
Other ideas:

*skit: Inspector Midget- a parody of Inspector Gadget

*skit: the gay/fabulous version of voodoo/macumba/santeria

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

A slasher story where the antagonists are candymakers. I can't be the only one who looks at molten sugar or a candy cane and thinks "well this could be weaponized by some unhinged professional"...right?

I think I recall reading or hearing someone speculate about the deadly potential of molten sugar before but I can;t remember where

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

*A fable in which lions preying on the slowest and weakest zebras and antelopes is used as an example of how taking shortcuts in he present may harm us in the future, as it harms the lion when it results in a stronger and faster next generation of antelopes. This is contrasted with a forward thinking human herder and his sheep/cattle/chickens/goats/whatever.

*An ad for a burger restaurant in which the burgers are depicted as being made by an anthropomorphic bull mascot named "Jeffrey Dah-moo, the burger making bull"

*A cartoon with an anthropomorphic squirrel banker who hides people's money in a hole

*comedy skit: Fake ad for Subway restaurants which announces the addition of Jello to the menu. In honor of this Jared is joined by Bill Cosby and they jointly pitch the restaurant to the viewer

*Some kind of movie where the twist ending is that the ghost was actually a sled made out of people (edit: or that the sled made out of peoplr was a ghost the whole time) (EDIT: No. The main character is the ghost of a person who was made into a sled)

EDIT:
Another idea:

*Some kind of story where Thanos is conflated with Michael Jackson due to the fact that they both wear a single jeweled glove

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

A skit advertises "breath mints for your butthole"

Damnit. Whose Line Is It Anyway already did it! ("It's a breath mint AND a suppository!")

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Skit: A support group for superheros who look like villains (ie. Swamp Thing, the Toxic Avenger, the Thing, etc.)

EDIT:
Another idea:

A movie that basically follows the plot of "Temple of Doom" except it's set in modern times and instead of the Thugee it's Al Qaeda. Or possibly the Church of Scientology.

EDIT:
Another Idea:

Comedy skit: Badly educated redneck insists that the the word "spicy" is derived from the word "spic" and pronounced accordingly. Cites mexican food as his evidence.

EDIT:
Another idea:

The Temple of Doom sacrifice scene, except it's a witch burning:

"It's a Christian ceremony. They're worshipping Jesus". Heart ripped out of victim. Still alive. Victim set alight. Heart bursts into flames in ceremony leader's hand. maniacal laughter.

EDIT:
Another idea:

A cyborg in the semi-near future whose only remaining organic parts are his testicles, as these are the only part whose function strictly requires them to be organic

EDIT:
Another idea:

Comedy skit: A woman's wish for a boyfriend who is a good listener backfires when he uses his good listening to deliver targeted ads