Discordian Mantras and List of Entities

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

It was suggested to me that I move these topics here instead of their original locations in Literate Chaotic, So I'm reposting them. Let me know what you think (they're both incomplete/works in progress, by the way): ...

First of All:

Discordian Mantras:

From the Desks of Diogenes Syadasti Maharishi Shandor, O.M.
and Bohandas Mohandas Banannafannafofondis:

[/u]

The Following are some SubGenius and Discordian mantras, which I have either gathered from various sources (Including five which I've made up myself- The FSM Mantra, the 2 Holy-Grail Mantras, the Discordian-Mantras mantra, and the Obscene Votive Candle mantra). To fully understand the meanings of some of these mantras, it is reccommended that you be familiar with, among other things, The Principia Discordia (Obviously), the Muscial Stylings of DEVO, the musical stylings of The Doktors for "BOB", the films Arise, Let's Visit the World of the Future and Monty Python and the Holy Grail, the TV shows Pinky and the Brain and Dr.Who, the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the SubGenius BOB-Songs CDs, and a smattering of French-Canadian profanity^* (At least two are based on obscene, religion related, French/Québecois double-entendres). None of these, however, are strictly required. And now, without further ado, the Mantras:


The Bleeding Head Mantra:
"Bleeding Head Good! Healed Head Bad!"


The Arnold Palmer/Head Launching Mantra (may be combined w/ the above):
"Launch the Head; Launch the Head!"


The Universal DEVO-"BOB" Mantra:
"I am "BOB", I am Not "BOB", You are "BOB", We are all "BOB", We are All Devo., We are "BOB""


The Holy Grail Mantra:
"Aauuuuugh" (From the back of the throat)
(hmmm....He must've died while typing it.....)


The Holy Grail Mantra (Expanded):
"Aauuuuugh...San-Gréal Câlise; de la Sacrament de la Sacrifice à Calvaire de la Crisse; à la Tabernac à...Aauuuuugh"
(see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quebec_French_profanity)


The J.R. "BOB" Dobbs Mantra:
"You Are J.R. "BOB" Dobbs; You Are Not J.R. "BOB" Dobbs; You Have Always Been  J.R. "BOB" Dobbs"

The Sri Syadasti Mantra:
"Sri SYADASTI SYADAVAKTAVYA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADASTI CAVAKTAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVATAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVAKTAVYASCA"

The Root Chakra Mantra:
"Lam"

The Litany of Deevolution (The Jocko-Homo Mantra):
"Are we not men?; We are Devo.; Are We Not Men?; We Are Devo.; Are We Not Pins?; We Are Devo.; Are we Not Men?; We Are Devo.;  We Must Repeat; D-E-V-O; We Must Repeat D-E-V-O; We Must Repeat; D-E-V-O; We Must Repeat D-E-V-O."

The Québecois Obscene Votive Candle Mantra:
"Ciarge de la Sacré Ciboire de la Tabernac de la Ostie et Câlise de la Sacrament de la Sacrifice à Calvaire; de la Sang Réal de la Crisse-Dieu fils ****-Un par Baptême et le Plus Crissant le fils de la Viarge " (Should be said with a Freach-Canadian Accent)

(see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quebec_French_profanity)

The Doktors 4 "BOB" Mantra:
"Heunh..."

The Skaro Mantra:
"Exterminate! Annihilate! Destroy!"

The Mr.Show Mantra:
"The BOB is not a person; The BOB is Pure-Light-And-Energy; He Will Lead Us Out Through Heaven's-Chimney in a Giant, Cigar-Shaped UFO™-Brand Flying-Saucer"

(See BOBsongs 6 track #6)

The B-Movie Mantra:
"It is Film! It is Giant People! Yes, yes you are Watching! No, no you Will Not Forget What You See"


The SubGenius Mantras Mantra:
"Ommmmmm....SubGenius Mantras for Use By Discordians or Members of the Church of the SubGenius...Huenh......"


The Bavarian Illuminati Mantra:
"Fnord ..."

The mad lab-rat Mantra:
"Narf..."(/ "Zort") (/ "Troz") (/ "Poit")
(May be combined with the Bavarian Illuminati Mantra, the Holy Grail Mantra, the Root Chakra Mantra, the Flying Spaghetti Monster Mantra (see below) and/or the Doktors-4-"BOB" Mantra)

The Flying Spaghetti Monster Mantra:
"Arrr..." (end cycle of chants with the chant "...r-amen...")

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So what do you think?

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If anybody has any other ideas for Discordian or SubGenius mantras, you can post them here, by the way.

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^*see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quebec_French_profanity

How about using the crazy barber's psychotic outburst from episode 9 of "Monty python" as a mantra:

"Razor Razor Razor! Cut! Blood! Spurt! Artery! Murder! Hitchcock! Psycho! (Damn!)"

None of this sissy, 'jewel in the lotus' bullshit

Mantra-Bismol
"Nausea Heartburn Indegestion; Upset Stomach, Diarrhea!"

The Ralph Spoilsport Mantra
"Give Me Immortality or Give Me Death"

The Nonindecision Mantra:
"Splunge"


The sacred syllable "Splunge", which signifies (accordfing to monty Python's Flying Circus) "it's a great-idea-but-possibly-not-and-I'm-not-being-indecisive!" and which therefore is a great syllable to all to Sri-Syadasti related mantras

The symbol of The sacred Syllable^* (According to cartoonist David Lovelace), appears below:




^*In the manner of the symbol for the syllable "Om"

List of Entities:

I've been working on a list of entities from Discordian and SubGenius (and FSMist) mythology, along with short descriptions thereof, for a compiled piece of SubGenius/Discordian mumbo-jumbo which I've been writing called "The Codex Dementia". There already is an annotated list of Subgenius entities floating around out there, but it's a bit too cut and dried, whereas in my list, I've done strange things like intentionally conflating Douglas Smith ("Rev.ivan Stang") with Adam Smith and Joseph Smith, postulated that the bullet that killed Kennedy really was "magic" and enhanced by spells from the Honest Book of Truth, and asserted that  Rod Sterling introduces The Twilight Zone because he's the herald of NHGH...in addition to giving normal information.

Anyway, here are the entries in the list for which I have already written descriptions (I have a lot more entities which I have not written descriptions for yet which I haven't posted here). What do you think?



Eris K. Discordia: Ancient Greco-Roman goddess of non-military conflict. She is, however, credited with indirectly starting the Trojan War after the other Godesses called upon a mortal prince to settle an argument that Discordia had started with regard to which goddess was the prettiest.
   She is credited by her followers, the Discordians, as the creator of the human race, due (in part) to the fact that, as the goddess of non-military conflict, she presides over the process of natural selection (although there are most likely many of her followers who would argue that at least one part of this assertation is incorrect, as is their way). She is also followed due to her ability to shake things up and "stick it to the man" and other such things.
   Her numbers are 5 and 23   

St.Gulik: A doppelganger of Sri Syadasti who happens to also be a cockroach. One of the five apostles of Discordia

DEVO:  A musical group prophesizing the termination of adaptive human evolution and the coming of a period of "De−Evolution" in which all of humanity's genetic adaptations would be lost, as they are replaced by technology and society succumbs to a kind of mediocre decadence

Lee Harvey Oswald: An associate of Mal-2. Acting alone, he assassinated President John F. Kennedy using weapons and ammunition enhanced by spells which he had secretly copied from the Honest Book of Truth... Or possibly he actually stole the entire Honest Book of Truth itself... I don't know for sure (and that's the truth)

The Mi-Go:   Alien Fungus−Yetis from beyond Uranus

NHGH: God of bad-luck and misfortune, and of minor inconveniences (and possibly bizarre accidents as well) in particular. There are some who claim that Rod Sterling is his herald (or, well, I claim it at any rate... when I'm at parties... after I've been drinking... if there's anybody there who already knows what the hell I'm talking about.......)

High Att: An entity who is claimed by his followers to be the reincarnation of one of the Earth's greatest philosophers as a being of elemental earth, but who is actually an eldritch artificial intelligence of cyclopean complexity who was built by the Yacatisma, and constitutes the Y-ist (yacatisma) equivalent of the X-ists' "MWOWM" Super[natural?]computing systems/engines

Diogenes of Sinope: An ancient Greek philosopher and counterfeiter whose assertions that dogs are better than people and that we should all therefore act like dogs instead of people form some of the earliesty underpinnings of both formal cynic philosophy and furry fandom. (I'm not shitting you, this was a real guy)

JR "BOB" Dobbs: Some call him "The Slack Master", "The High Epopt", and "The Saint of Sales", others call him less flattering names, such as "Liar", "Pimp", "Con-Artist", and "Whoremonger" (also "Dumbass"). In truth, both of these assessments are correct.
   "BOB" is a comic-book character who communicates with space-aliens and worships money. A supernaturally gifted salesman, he was beset with bizarre coincidences (always to his own benefit), and prophetic eldritch visions since his childhood. He founded the Church of the SubGenius shortly after meeting deadbeat hippies and all-around good guys Douglas Smith, and Philo U. Drummond, and selling them a set of gold tablets which suspiciously resembled the ones which had disappeared from the basement of one of Doug's relatives several years previously. He was later shot to death during a SubGenius devival, but he came back to life soon after the news of his demise had reached his creditors.
   His numbers are 606, 999, and 13013

Douglas Smith: Sacred scribe of the Church of ther SubGenius, who took over the Ministry after J.R."BOB" Dobbs went west to teach the Plains Indians how to be capitalist. Now travels under the assumed name "Ivan Stang"

I've got another one, well, a few, actually...:

Affathough ("Azathoth", "Affa-Thog"): The cosmic principle of pointlessness and futility, and the deity of non-existence. As the embodiment of non-being, he does not exist (as that would defeat the point). Personified depictions of "him"/it usually depict Azathough as a deformed, giant, sometimes galaxy-sized amoeba, representing the absence of thought.

Ivo Shandor: The high priest of Gozer the Gozerian (aka. "The Traveler", "Gozer the Destructor", "Volguus Zildrohar") in the modern age. According to Egon Spangler of Ghostbusters Inc., he was known for his talents as an architect, and his enthusiasm for performing unnecessary surgery.

Emperor Joshua Norton the First of the USA: Saint Joshua Norton Caesar was a prospector in San Francisco who declared himself the King/Emperor of the United States of America "and protector of Mexico", and accumulated a sizable following of San Francisco residents who informally recognized his sovereignty. He is the patron saint of the subjectivity of reality and of the pulling of the wool over your/one's own eyes.

[Telarus]

Your entry on Eris is full of misinformation. Intentional or not?

Eris was also known as Bellona (Ma-Bellona) to the Roman Senate (linked to the Enyo and the triplicate of the Graiai, or Grey Ones), and all war-planning occurred in her temple. That's right, Ares, suck it. You should read through this thread: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=9811.0

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Your entry on Eris is full of misinformation. Intentional or not?

Rubbish.

[the last yatto]

Ancient Greco-Roman goddess of non-military conflict

she did join battle with her brother Aries

[Cain]

Ancient Greco-Roman goddess of non-military conflict

she did join battle with her brother Aries

This is the correct motorcycle.  All facets of strife and conflict came under her portfolio, from marriage and trade up to earth-shattering war.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Ancient Greco-Roman goddess of non-military conflict

she did join battle with her brother Aries

This is the correct motorcycle.  All facets of strife and conflict came under her portfolio, from marriage and trade up to earth-shattering war.

Ah, I did not know that. I was under the impression that she and Ares were seperate halves of the same whole.

As for the other thing in the entry, the bit about evolution, that is my own personal insight. Additionally, I intend to expand the entry at some point to add some more standard ideas.

[the last yatto]

suggested reading
ancient greeks and eris
book of teh subgenius

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

suggested reading
ancient greeks and eris
book of teh subgenius

I've read the Book of The SubGenius, IIRC it says that orthodoxy is herasy...

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

I forgot two of the mantras:

Chaopanchakshara:
"Aum Namah Discordia"

The Indecision Mantra:
"Um"

[the last yatto]

I've read the Book of The SubGenius, IIRC it says that orthodoxy is herasy...

just noting your missing the usual suspects

fuck em if they cant take a joke
may be pink but their money is green
etc

[Telarus]

I may have more entities to add in a while, a friend is working on the "Goetia Discordia" which is a book of spirits/powers straight from the mind of Kerry Thornley.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Your entry on Eris is full of misinformation. Intentional or not?

Eris was also known as Bellona (Ma-Bellona) to the Roman Senate (linked to the Enyo and the triplicate of the Graiai, or Grey Ones), and all war-planning occurred in her temple. That's right, Ares, suck it. You should read through this thread: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=9811.0

This gives me an idea for a hymn...

"My Bellona has a first name, its..."

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Ok, I've got one for malaclypse the elder... I think this one's rather clever:

Malaclypse the Elder (Mal-1):
One of the Five Apostles of Eris Patron of the season of aftermath and prophet of DÜMB (Pronounced "Doom". Note the umlat nover the U). Many have speculated on whether or not his prophecies have yet been fulfilled, positing that perhaps J.R."BOB" Dobbs, or perhaps George W. Bush may be/have been the instrument of the DÜMB which he foretold.

[Triple Zero]

Umlaut over the Ü isnt pronounced like the "oo" in "doom". Ü is a vowel sound that doesnt occur in English.

The "oo" sound in "doom" is a lot more like the U without umlaut. So you might pick the German word DUMM, which is actually pronounced as "doom" (except a bit shorter), and means "dumb" or "stupid" in German.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Yeah, I think you mean "DŪMB".