If I was God

[BabylonHoruv]

Ah. I don't know about that stopping. Maybe it just got more subtle. Now it just blames all of the disasters on nature or uses human patsies. Serial killers who are actually being directed by God, terrorists who are the same way, who knows what kind of mayhem he might be behind.

Balls.  The old testament God was never sneaky about ANYTHING.  Just ask Gommorah.

Nope.  God ain't running things, at least not anymore.

I dunno,  The holocaust sure looks like his work to me.  For some reason he did that kind of thing to the Jews all the time.

No, he fucking didn't.  He punished everyone around them, instead.

Yup, that too.  Thus we get fun things like the firebombing of Dresden.

Yes, those poor innocent Germans.   

Nearly as innocent as the Egyptians, the Babylonians, and the other folks who got hit for being around Jews.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Ah. I don't know about that stopping. Maybe it just got more subtle. Now it just blames all of the disasters on nature or uses human patsies. Serial killers who are actually being directed by God, terrorists who are the same way, who knows what kind of mayhem he might be behind.

Balls.  The old testament God was never sneaky about ANYTHING.  Just ask Gommorah.

Nope.  God ain't running things, at least not anymore.

I dunno,  The holocaust sure looks like his work to me.  For some reason he did that kind of thing to the Jews all the time.

No, he fucking didn't.  He punished everyone around them, instead.

Yup, that too.  Thus we get fun things like the firebombing of Dresden.

Yes, those poor innocent Germans.   

Nearly as innocent as the Egyptians, the Babylonians, and the other folks who got hit for being around Jews.

WOW.

[Pope Lecherous]

i had a theory about god's reaction time, that I thought up while learnin' about the nervous system.

In most animals, nerve transmission is *about* 60mph.  Now, we can assume that God probably has a slightly more sophisticated system of co-ordinations, but even then nothing, not even god's nervous system can be faster than the speed of light.  And as God is omnipresent, that means he is at least the size of the universe, any prayers he may or may not be hearing are gonna take a FUCKING LONG TIME to get answered.  Pray for the future.

All of said universe could exist within the brain of God, meaning his thoughts wouldn't have far to travel at all.  Also, if he IS omnipresent then any thoughts or prayers or anything he would perceive would need to travel beyond the gap of an infinitesimal space.

[Template]

No tail, human bodies do pretty much one think right and thats long haul endurance, a tail would screw with walking/running.

To the contrary: the tail is an appendage for balance, as well as gripping.  That's why cats have them.  It's a weight to adjust one's center of gravity and momentum.  That's why they put huge weights in the tops of skyscrapers.  People might also think about balance in oneself more readily.

[Requia ☣]

Yes but changing our balance changes the way we walk/run, which right now is ultra efficient.  If we hunch over because of a tail that'll tire us out more.

[Cain]

If I was God, I'd mess with the laws of the Universe to make Cold Fusion work or not work, depending on how I felt at the time.

[LMNO]

Cain proves himself to be God, ITT.

[Template]

Yes but changing our balance changes the way we walk/run, which right now is ultra efficient.  If we hunch over because of a tail that'll tire us out more.

That would depend on how far back it tends to point.  BTW, Industrial Revolution and cubicles would be made significantly more horrible or less horrible if we all had tails that pointed back all the time, I imagine.

[Cain]

Cain proves himself to be God, ITT.

If you're going to be a God, you may as well be a trickster god.  Anything less just isn't fun.

I'd try and make all the rules of the Universe local.  Very local.  As in, every 10 metres or so it will change.  Or plant fossils of creatures that haven't evolved yet.  I'd certainly make miraculous visitations...only in the form of various pop stars and media icons.

[LMNO]

So, you want to make this place Discworld, essentially.

[Cain]

Only more with a more pro-active ethic when it comes to meddling in the affairs of mortals.

[Eater of Clowns]

If you're going to be a God, you may as well be a trickster god.  Anything less just isn't fun.

Who says the God everyone's referring to in this thread isn't one?  Ever tell a great joke to a dumb audience?