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''Infinitas Error Discordia''

Started by Rev.Spade, July 13, 2009, 07:36:30 PM

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Rev.Spade

I thought it could be great I could start another discordian book. It would be even greater if you would take a part in it. Practically any submissions are welcome. (All Kopyleft of course)

LMNO

My suggestion would be to start writing a few pages, to give us a feel of where you're going with this. You'll get more people joining in that that way, I promise.

Cramulus

you might want to be a little bit more specific about the project...

otherwise, I'm submitting the full text of the king james bible  :pax:

Rev.Spade

Indeed, I should be more specific.

I named it ''Infinitas error'' for ''Infinite Illusion''. I want to pierce through the lies and the illusions of society through the media, politics and of course religion. I also plan to throw in some good old discordian rituals, legends and of course, philosophy.

LMNO


Cramulus


Rev.Spade

#6
Here is a rough draft I already written some time ago :

The honest book of lies


As I wrote these first lines, I was locked at my desk, doing surveys and calling assholes all across America. I was getting bitched at and insulted by gun-waving rednecks. All this for the benefit of greyface and his goons. His goons are often called "supervisors" or "bosses".
They are the dictators who leads us like cattle for their great lord greyface. They don't do half of what we do. They sit on their fucking asses in their ivory towers while we burnt to a crisp in hell for a
handful of breadcrumbs. While I kept calling fuckers either in America or Canada as my job requires, I kept calling shit-sniffing morons who wastes my time by saying pathetic excuses that they can't do the
survey because of any illogical reasons they could conceive. For example, saying they cannot hear me although he or she clearly heard the "fuck you" i whispered into the phone after they told me to find
another job. In this point in history, where people woudn't believe the truth of actual proven facts concerning several pressing matters but would rather believe the 2000 year story of a man who was nailed onto a cross, mankind desperately needs to be bitch-slapped in the face. Better yet, humanity would need to bitch-slap Greyface.

Lies are an integral part of our culture. We grew believing in Santa Claus, we lied to hide something from our parents or to hide a sin or fault we knew that we were not allowed to do. We know that something who's been forbidden for a reason will most likely be done since an
interdiction is exciting for us, feeble mortals. Grown up, we tend to believe in the government filtered news of the day and the stories about an invisible man in the sky who claims to love you even though
he is willing to send you to hell to burn forever as punishment as the only undeniable truth of the universe, although nobody ever grown a complete and solid explanation about why it should be universal.

The end of the world already began. It started when people felt pride about being stupid. The ignorance of a nation is the strength of it's leader. Such idiocy, we have elected with pride. Worst president ever : God. We deserve to be extinct after all. At least cats are smarter than us. They don't need a god to be able to find a purpose in anything.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

The People like to Talk. It is one of the signifiers of being The People; talking, talking, talking. The People fuck. It is what People do. For pleasure, for power, for procreation. These are the three Ps of being People. Where is the meaning? It is in why People do what they do. We all wish to be remembered. We all wish to be loved.  We cannot stop being human beings who bring our power to the table to be recognized. We are monkeys.

What about us can be made immortal? We always seek this out, with our talking, our fucking, our striving to be recognized. The loftiest and lowliest, we are still trying to meet recognition and gain fame. We sing, we dance, we make art and business and destruction, all for the same end; because we wish to be remembered. But what are we? Pieces of animated meat. Monkeys with thumbs, terrible creatures who are best forgotten. Right?

Except we aren't. We are each an exceptional work, a creature with consciousness, an animal machine of exceptional unique recognizability, each and every individual one of us. Doubt this? Look at the millions of books, unique structures, that have been published in just the course of a single generation. What greater miracle is there than this? That we could create, amongst ourselves, an enormous group database that would store proof of our individualities, of our individual existence as creatures apart from the database.

Our entire existence, every structure we create in our hive-existence, seems to be designed to disprove the hive. Every piece of art, every novel, every essay, is a piece of rebellion to show the entire world, every other human hive member, that we are each different, individual, special, unique; that there is a reason to keep striving. That Eris drives us. For she does, doesn't she? Even if

we really

never

understand

why.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Iason Ouabache

I'll submit this:

http://chaoskeptic.blogspot.com/2009/06/ultimate-paradox-of-discordianism.html

The Ultimate Paradox of Discordianism


If they ever form a Discordian State, I shall tear it down. - The Good Reverend Roger

The only thing that can kill Discordia is success. - Anonymous


This, my friend, is the ultimate paradox of Discordianism: Even if all of our dreams came true we still wouldn't be satisfied. We don't want to win. We don't actually want to take over the world. If we were offered the crown we would outright refuse it. We aren't the kings and we never want to be. We are the rat bastards behind the throne. We are the advisers that lead the emperor around by the nose while constantly trying to find ways of poisoning his sons. We are the jesters in the corner poking fun of the king right to his fucking face and getting away with it. We are the insane monk leading the flock to certain ruin.

No, if we were ever in charge we wouldn't know what to do with ourselves. That's why we choose to always be on the fringes. We are the subversives who are constantly throwing rocks at the Establishment. It doesn't even matter who the Establishment is, they were stupid enough and greedy enough to get into power. That alone means that they are corrupt down to the little black hearts. We know because we would do the exact same thing if we had that power. We don't know the crown because we know that it isn't worth it. It's much more effective to work the edges and hope for Total Chaos.

Or Kill Me.
You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.
    \
┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

the last yatto

Look, asshole:  Your 'incomprehensible' act, your word-salad, your pinealism...It BORES ME.  I've been incomprehensible for so long, I TEACH IT TO MBA CANDIDATES.  So if you simply MUST talk about your pineal gland or happy children dancing in the wildflowers, go talk to Roger, because he digs that kind of shit

Rev.Spade

Quote from: NotARealFurby on July 15, 2009, 10:05:55 PM
if you need a publisher, intermittens.info :fnord:

You just read my mind, good friend. I thoughtm not more than 20 minutes ago to write stuff to intermittens that i'll submit in my discordian un-wholly book.  :fnord:

Expect a text tonite!

Title : Logic is for pussies

Rev.Spade

#11
Here is an other hard draft

-003 Second things first

Infinitas = Infinite
Error = Illusion
Discordia = Fuck yeah

-002 Why so Sirius

''Why such a title?'' you might ask. It all came to me at a jazz festival. Being a proud discordian reverend for some time now, I wanted to open the floods of my pineal gland to detect and write down the distinct behavior pattern of the cabbage cabal. Also being a proud misanthropic bastard with nothing better to do than to passionately mock people in my head, I classified each species of cabbage with great precision and help from my goddess's college note books. Of course, to realize such prowess, being in a crowd helped. What didn't though is that I was too broke to get a fucking beer and thus, unable to forget I was indeed there... And alive.

In fact, I didn't wanted to be there. I came for a friend. A beloved, female one who I shall only call N.
N was a cute, small Japanese girl I met some years ago. There was a huge difference between us. She was the calm, orderly and kind person while I was a chaotic, unpredictable, unstable and defiant person. Of course, that night, it struck me, Order and Chaos. We were the perfect opposites. She was old. I was young. Even though there was a 10 year difference between us, I still have a fond for her and always will. (I found it ironic though that my dad, the symbol of order, who did his service in the army, and I never got along well and I always wanted to get rid of him. It lasted all my teenage. It is only now, grown up, that I wish to see him at his house more often now to speak to him before it's too late.)

Returning to the story, I was so tired that evening that I started to hallucinate in the midnight sky there was black green cloud who seemed to follow wherever my eyes went. I didn't took any drugs that night because like I said : ''I was broke and was forced to acknowledge my existence.''

'' When you sleep such weird hours, your brain releases chemicals to try to stimulate you and keep you alert so you can argue, in a way, it's like getting high. […] And when I don't sleep, I hallucinate. I passed a summer so out that I thought dwarfs were stealing my food.''
-Reverend Megadeth425


It was clearly a sign from the goddess. Either she was playing MS Paint in the sky without the cosmos's acknowledgement or my head decide to fuck me or fuck with me. I don't know. Although, it isn't the first time those kind of apparitions manifests to me. I often, in the darkness of my cathedral witness from the corner of my eye, indistinct forms hovering, passing by with great haste. As soon as I move my eyes to see if it was St-Gulik spying on me, it was gone. I often saw those shit before and they seem to pursue me. They want to turn me into a cabbage and eat me alive in my sleep. My goddess...
Some say life in an acid trip with whom I constantly fight against everyday to keep the rest of my sanity. Maybe I am the creator of those hallucinations. Maybe to prevent myself from becoming of those fucking drones. To this, I say '' Fuck you you old fucking fuck fucker.''

I wonder what the old discordians like Lord Omar and RAW would say about discordianism in the 2000's. Some write essays and rants. Less are doing podcasts and/or radio shows with french rock music which I do a podcast once a week or two which no one listens to (not with the french music though) and slim to none takes up the microphone anymore to talk about what Eris would like as the soupe du jour these days. Some of us should meditate with a jug of wine, chips, a copy of Un Chien Andalou by Salvador Dali and Louis Bunuel and/or any Japanese zombie B-movies where there is useless, cheap gore and lesbian Japanese schoolgirl sex scenes to activate our pineal glands and reach out to the higher unconsciousness of Eris.

However, some of us are still taking actions on the streets like the GASM (Golden Apple Seed Mission for you ignorant fools) spreading jakes all over their neighborhood and claiming it a religious ritual to random law officers to obtain ''some'' immunity. It would easily pass as a valid argument, here. The reason is that the people in Canada (mostly in Quebec) get their asshole in a knot every single time a foreign ''religion'' or ''spiritual practice'' is mentioned. One group denounces the other as a racist even though the ''foreign belief'' tries to integrate itself, by means of respect alone, into the mentality of the place where they are at the moment by slightly tweaking a few things so that it sounds right for them and it fits their own belief. We seen several cases here where the people with different religious beliefs than ours attempted to ignore our culture totally and to impose their own in several public places. This, obviously, led to court battles which lasted for years and years on end.

Then, we wonder why people are afraid of the different, exotic and new. Here, talking now about religion is even more taboo than ever before. Quebec, for the most part, has been governed by the catholic church and the government together as a team until the 1960ish period until the whole youth and sex quiet revolution took place. We may be free now, however, being hammered for so long by the catholic belief has forged a hot red-iron mark into the mind of the older generation which still sadly governs us today. Talking about religious tolerance here is like walking in a mined zone. Say one thing that, in any possible warped way that could, no matter how indirectly, sound intolerant of the opposite party and they will tear your legs off. Say only one single bad sounding remark or even worse, try to defend, as diplomatically as possible your own culture and BLAM! You are suspected to be the head leader of the KKK cell of your district. No questions asked. Now there's tolerance for you. I mean, if I would go to Germany to get some goddessdamn absinthe, I would speak fucking German. I won't shout ''WHERE'S THE GOOD STUFF?'' in english until I get a response from the poor guy. If I would go to a forest, I'd watch out for the ecosystem of the place. Not fucking set it ablaze to build public bathrooms. That's called logic and of course, respect. If I would go to a place with a different belief, I would keep mine to myself. As opposed to many, I won't shove it in their throats and call them infidels if they refuse to believe and threat them with the wrath of the XYZ god/goddess of whatever.

So just imagine for a second, in this mindset, if I declared publicly that I am a Discordian, how people would cower in fear of being declared religious bigots if they disagreed with my belief in irrationality and chaos (or so would I say to them). I could sue any grocery store for selling hot-dog buns on Fridays due to religious immorality. I would ask that a Discordian service be celebrated each 23rd of the month in any available church regardless of planned activities whatsoever. I could cause public disorder and claim it in the name of Eris to avoid being pressed charged. I could paint apples in gold in any fruit store and say it's for the ''insert discordian holy day'' celebration. But if I ever did, all this would be pointless. Why? Because popularity and mainstream is what would kill Discordianism and make it irrelevant. Therefore, to preserve Discordianism is to not practice it. Besides, taking Discordianism seriously means you're doing it wrong.

I do not claim to be right, though. I am just abusing my right to be wrong.

Rev.Spade

#12
I started writing some rants from paper to pc. I submitten two to intermittens (yes, intermittens) and here is one of them

The life of a drone (A Testimonial)

You wake up. You go to work.
You wake up. You go to work.
You wake up. You go to work.
You wake up. You go to work.
You wake up. You go to work.
You wake up. You go to work.
You wake up. You go to work.

Interesting life, isn't it? Being a children of the monkey machine and all... It struck me when I got to work, today. My life is an endless, pointless habit of servitude to ''them''. In fact, I became a drone. A mindless little puppet. I barely go out to see friends. I do when I paid more servitude than usual for extra breadcrumbs. ''They'' are really are starting to annoy me. ''They'' are leeches that likes to fuck with my robotic wires. They keep taping commands that launches an application error in my brain damaged operating system. It's at this moment that I find the ''A mindless person is a happy person'' quote very relevant. Being blissful and ignorant is something I lost, a long time ago.

I often wonder if the red pill I took was the right one to choose. The choice itself is complicated and double-edged.  I take the blue pill and remain happy and ignorant but I never get to reach ''some'' truth or my own reality tunnel. I take the red pill and I often learn the most painful truths of things but I'll never happy the same happy fella again. Worst, when you hold that truth in your hands, the most cruel of them all stating that life is operating under the ''Obey, or else...'' command, one can often wonder how can he awake the masses. This is where Discordianism comes into play. Chaos, being constantly suppressed by Greyface Inc., has been portrayed as ''Anarchy'' or ''The end of times''. The correct definition of Anarchism is self-ruling opposed to the popular press media imagery of people setting cars ablaze. It is the opposite of the established order. A messy room is chaotic compared to an orderly and clean one and thus, not the end of the world. It is just an opposing element to another. And ''Self-ruling'' is deciding if chaos is your personal order or not and this ''order'' can be revoked at all times.

In the Discordian society, everyone is under their own rulership. Those have been called ''Discordian Popes'' in a very similar way to the catholic belief where there is a single person being the pope. This person is to be said the chosen one and/or ''the holiest of man'' and claims to have God on the line 24/7 to give him instructions to give to the masses afterwards. Each Discordian are their own chosen ones and are free to live or not under the teachings of the well-known Discordians. Eris, great greek goddess of discord, confusion, chaos, bureaucracy and international relations came to us, filled our hearts with chaos and told us that we ARE free and not ''We can be free'' or '' We are free – Some restrictions apply''. Thus, all the now human drones illuminated by Eris can, themselves, reprogram the other drones to remind them they are Discordian Popes and to reclaim their rightfull human minds. Every man, woman and child on this planet is a genuine and authorized pope and is totally infallible and, if you are reading these lines, you are a pope. Now, go. There's work to do.

Rev.Spade

BUMP!...

No seriously, the project has not been abandonned. I was busy with my podast and needed a break of everything for a while. I promise I gonna submit newer works for the book soon fnord.

Rev.Spade

#14
Excerpt from the book of Booze-ahol (Chapter 3.1416)

Saint-Joe drank ale on the top of a hill.
He repeated this ritual over and over, every day, at sunset.
From spring to fall.
One day, a zen monk approached and asked the saint :
'' Why do you repeat this ceremony? ''
The saint replied : ''It is the closest I can get to a zen experience.''
The monk doubted such a statement.
He asked '' But please, sanest of the saints, explain to me why!''
'' I may be a saint but that does not, in any means, guarantee I would have also achieved peace of mind.'' By these words, the monk was enlightened.

Prayer to Nestlé the sleeping martyr :
Oh holiest of all angels!
I ignite your shrine with this offering of a filter and water
Provide me of your awakening.
Deliver me the sacred nectar called caffeine.
So i don`t run over my boss with my car in the parking.
Latte, vinte.
Espresso.
Anything goes.