Shit My Dad Says

[Remington]

Not mine, but I though it was pretty entertaining 
http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

"The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."

"How the fuck should I know if it's still good? Eat it. You get sick, it wasn't good. You people, you think I got microscopic fucking eyes."

"They serve Jim Beam on airplanes. Tastes like piss. You wouldn't be able to tell the difference, because you drink shit. I don't."

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

LOL I saw this the other night.
It's pretty great.

[Richter]

My father's recurring line:  "Tough shit white man."