ITT, we discuss why Opera FUCKING SUCKS

[Payne]

"I am speaking to you from the Tools Menu on Internet Explorer.

This morning the Microsoft Spider Bot in Opera handed Opera Users a final packet stating that, unless we hear from them by 11 o'clock that they were prepared at once to withdraw their cookies from Netscape Navigator, a state of war would exist between us. I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently this browser is at war with Opera.

You can imagine what a bitter blow it is to me that all my long struggle to win peace has failed. Yet I cannot believe that there is anything more or anything different that I could have done and that would have been more successful.

Up to the very last it would have been quite possible to have arranged a peaceful and honourable settlement between Opera and Netscape Navigator, but Triple Zero would not have it. He had evidently made up his mind to attack Netscape Navigator, whatever happened, and although he now says he put forward reasonable proposals which were rejected by the Netscape Navigators, that is not a true statement.

The proposals were never shown to the Netscape Navigators, nor to us, and though they were announced in a Opera broadcast on Thursday night, Triple Zero did not wait to hear comments on them but ordered his cookies to cross the Netscape Navigator frontier the next morning.

His action shows convincingly that there is no chance of expecting that this man will ever give up his practice of using force to gain his will. He can only be stopped by force.

We and Chrome are today, in fulfilment of our obligations, going to the aid of Netscape Navigator, who is so bravely resisting this wicked and unprovoked attack upon her people. We have a clear conscience - we have done all that any browser could do to establish peace.

The situation in which no word given by Opera's super user could be trusted, and no user or browser could feel itself safe, has become intolerable. And now that we have resolved to finish it I know that you will play your part with calmness and courage.

At such a moment as this the assurances of support which we have received from the Microsoft Group of companies are a source of profound encouragement to us.

When I have finished speaking, certain detailed announcements will be made on behalf of the Internet Explorer update facility. Give these your closest attention. The Internet Explorer update facility have made plans under which it will be possible to carry on work of the browser in the days of stress and strain that may be ahead...

Now may Tim Berners-Lee bless you all. May He defend the right. For it is evil things that we shall be fighting against - brute force, bad faith, injustice, oppression and persecution - and against them I am certain that right will prevail."
                        \

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

Point proven. 

I know, but I'm a Spag and I'm Proud.

"I am speaking to you from the Tools Menu on Internet Explorer.

This morning the Microsoft Spider Bot in Opera handed Opera Users a final packet stating that, unless we hear from them by 11 o'clock that they were prepared at once to withdraw their cookies from Netscape Navigator, a state of war would exist between us. I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently this browser is at war with Opera.

You can imagine what a bitter blow it is to me that all my long struggle to win peace has failed. Yet I cannot believe that there is anything more or anything different that I could have done and that would have been more successful.

Up to the very last it would have been quite possible to have arranged a peaceful and honourable settlement between Opera and Netscape Navigator, but Triple Zero would not have it. He had evidently made up his mind to attack Netscape Navigator, whatever happened, and although he now says he put forward reasonable proposals which were rejected by the Netscape Navigators, that is not a true statement.

The proposals were never shown to the Netscape Navigators, nor to us, and though they were announced in a Opera broadcast on Thursday night, Triple Zero did not wait to hear comments on them but ordered his cookies to cross the Netscape Navigator frontier the next morning.

His action shows convincingly that there is no chance of expecting that this man will ever give up his practice of using force to gain his will. He can only be stopped by force.

We and Chrome are today, in fulfilment of our obligations, going to the aid of Netscape Navigator, who is so bravely resisting this wicked and unprovoked attack upon her people. We have a clear conscience - we have done all that any browser could do to establish peace.

The situation in which no word given by Opera's super user could be trusted, and no user or browser could feel itself safe, has become intolerable. And now that we have resolved to finish it I know that you will play your part with calmness and courage.

At such a moment as this the assurances of support which we have received from the Microsoft Group of companies are a source of profound encouragement to us.

When I have finished speaking, certain detailed announcements will be made on behalf of the Internet Explorer update facility. Give these your closest attention. The Internet Explorer update facility have made plans under which it will be possible to carry on work of the browser in the days of stress and strain that may be ahead...

Now may Tim Berners-Lee bless you all. May He defend the right. For it is evil things that we shall be fighting against - brute force, bad faith, injustice, oppression and persecution - and against them I am certain that right will prevail."
                        \

@ Payne.

[Payne]

"Good evening.

Today, our fellow users, our way of life, our very freedom came under attack in a series of deliberate and deadly terrorist acts. The victims were in chatrooms or in their forums: Admins, Moderators, Developers and Opera Staff, Spags and Trolls, file-sharers and open source editors. Thousands of lives were suddenly ended by evil, despicable acts of terror. The pictures of browser bombs flying into buildings, fires burning, huge -- huge structures collapsing have filled us with disbelief, terrible sadness, and a quiet, unyielding anger. These acts of mass murder were intended to frighten our browser into chaos and retreat. But they have failed. Our browser is strong.

A great people has been moved to defend a great browser. Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of Opera. These acts shatter tabbed browsing, but they cannot dent the steel of Opera's resolve. Opera was targeted for attack because we're the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the webosphere. And no one will keep that light from shining. Today, our browser saw evil -- the very worst of human nature -- and we responded with the best of Opera. With the daring use of mouse gestures, with the caring for spags and trolls who came to give blood and help in any way they could.

Immediately following the first attack, I implemented our Automatic Update Facility's emergency response plans. Our military is powerful, and it's prepared. Our emergency teams are working in the forum and IRC. to help with local rescue efforts. Our first priority is to get help to those who have been injured, and to take every precaution to protect our users at home and around the world from further attacks. The functions of our Automatic Update Facility continue without interruption. Open Source agencies which had to be evacuated today are reopening for essential personnel tonight and will be open for business tomorrow. Our financial institutions remain strong, and Opera's economy will be open for business as well.

The search is underway for those who were behind these evil acts. I have directed the full resources of our intelligence and law enforcement communities to find those responsible and to bring them to justice. We will make no distinction between the terrorists who committed these acts and those who harbor them.

I appreciate so very much the members of Congress who have joined me in strongly condemning these attacks. And on behalf of Opera's users, I thank the many world leaders who have called to offer their condolences and assistance. Opera and our friends and allies join with all those who want peace and security in the world, and we stand together to win the war against terrorism.

Tonight, I ask for your prayers for all those who grieve, for the children whose worlds have been shattered, for all whose sense of safety and security has been threatened. And I pray they will be comforted by a Power greater than any of us, spoken through the ages in Psalm 23:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Open Source, I fear no mouse gesture for you are with me.

This is a day when all Opera Users from every walk of life unite in our resolve for justice and peace. Opera has stood down enemies before, and we will do so this time. None of us will ever forget this day, yet we go forward to defend freedom and all that is good and just in our world.

Thank you. Good night. And God bless Opera."
                       \

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

 

Payne! I'm SCARED

[Richter]

television, magazines, book clubs now the Internet.... somebody stop this opera person before its to late

[Cramulus]

  to the whole thread

[Cainad (dec.)]

Opera... the crawling chaos... I am the last... I will tell the audient void...

I do not recall distinctly when it began, but it was months ago. The general tension was horrible. To a season of political and social upheaval was added a strange and brooding apprehension of hideous physical danger; a danger widespread and all-embracing, such a danger as may be imagined only in the most terrible phantasms of the night. I recall that the people went about with pale and worried faces, and whispered warnings and prophecies which no one dared consciously repeat or acknowledge to himself that he had heard. A sense of monstrous guilt was upon the land, and out of the abysses between the stars swept chill currents that made men shiver in dark and lonely places. There was a demoniac alteration in the sequence of the seasons the autumn heat lingered fearsomely, and everyone felt that the world and perhaps the universe had passed from the control of known gods or forces to that of gods or forces which were unknown.

And it was then that Opera came out of Egypt. Who he was, none could tell, but he was of the old native blood and looked like a Pharaoh. The fellahin knelt when they saw him, yet could not say why. He said he had risen up out of the blackness of twenty-seven centuries, and that he had heard messages from places not on this planet. Into the lands of civilisation came Opera, swarthy, slender, and sinister, always buying strange instruments of glass and metal and combining them into instruments yet stranger. He spoke much of the sciences of electricity and psychology and gave exhibitions of power which sent his spectators away speechless, yet which swelled his fame to exceeding magnitude. Men advised one another to see Opera, and shuddered. And where Opera went, rest vanished, for the small hours were rent with the screams of nightmare. Never before had the screams of nightmare been such a public problem; now the wise men almost wished they could forbid sleep in the small hours, that the shrieks of cities might less horribly disturb the pale, pitying moon as it glimmered on green waters gliding under bridges, and old steeples crumbling against a sickly sky.

I remember when Opera came to my city the great, the old, the terrible city of unnumbered crimes. My friend had told me of him, and of the impelling fascination and allurement of his revelations, and I burned with eagerness to explore his uttermost mysteries. My friend said they were horrible and impressive beyond my most fevered imaginings; and what was thrown on a screen in the darkened room prophesied things none but Opera dared prophesy, and in the sputter of his sparks there was taken from men that which had never been taken before yet which showed only in the eyes. And I heard it hinted abroad that those who knew Opera looked on sights which others saw not.

It was in the hot autumn that I went through the night with the restless crowds to see Opera; through the stifling night and up the endless stairs into the choking room. And shadowed on a screen, I saw hooded forms amidst ruins, and yellow evil faces peering from behind fallen monuments. And I saw the world battling against blackness; against the waves of destruction from ultimate space; whirling, churning, struggling around the dimming, cooling sun. Then the sparks played amazingly around the heads of the spectators, and hair stood up on end whilst shadows more grotesque than I can tell came out and squatted on the heads. And when I, who was colder and more scientific than the rest, mumbled a trembling protest about imposture and static electricity, Opera drove us all out, down the dizzy stairs into the damp, hot, deserted midnight streets. I screamed aloud that I was not afraid; that I never could be afraid; and others screamed with me for solace. We swore to one another that the city was exactly the same, and still alive; and when the electric lights began to fade we cursed the company over and over again, and laughed at the queer faces we made.

I believe we felt something coming down from the greenish moon, for when we began to depend on its light we drifted into curious involuntary marching formations and seemed to know our destinations though we dared not think of them. Once we looked at the pavement and found the blocks loose and displaced by grass, with scarce a line of rusted metal to show where the tramways had run. And again we saw a tram-car, lone, windowless, dilapidated, and almost on its side. When we gazed around the horizon, we could not find the third tower by the river, and noticed that the silhouette of the second tower was ragged at the top. Then we split up into narrow columns, each of which seemed drawn in a different direction. One disappeared in a narrow alley to the left, leaving only the echo of a shocking moan. Another filed down a weed-choked subway entrance, howling with a laughter that was mad. My own column was sucked toward the open country, and presently I felt a chill which was not of the hot autumn; for as we stalked out on the dark moor, we beheld around us the hellish moon-glitter of evil snows. Trackless, inexplicable snows, swept asunder in one direction only, where lay a gulf all the blacker for its glittering walls. The column seemed very thin indeed as it plodded dreamily into the gulf. I lingered behind, for the black rift in the green-litten snow was frightful, and I thought I had heard the reverberations of a disquieting wail as my companions vanished; but my power to linger was slight. As if beckoned by those who had gone before, I half-floated between the titanic snowdrifts, quivering and afraid, into the sightless vortex of the unimaginable.

Screamingly sentient, dumbly delirious, only the gods that were can tell. A sickened, sensitive shadow writhing in hands that are not hands, and whirled blindly past ghastly midnights of rotting creation, corpses of dead worlds with sores that were cities, charnel winds that brush the pallid stars and make them flicker low. Beyond the worlds vague ghosts of monstrous things; half-seen columns of unsanctifled temples that rest on nameless rocks beneath space and reach up to dizzy vacua above the spheres of light and darkness. And through this revolting graveyard of the universe the muffled, maddening beating of drums, and thin, monotonous whine of blasphemous flutes from inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond Time; the detestable pounding and piping whereunto dance slowly, awkwardly, and absurdly the gigantic, tenebrous ultimate gods the blind, voiceless, mindless gargoyles whose soul is Opera.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

[LMNO]

What an absolutely beautiful day it is, and it is my honor to speak to all Opera users, to our Opera family this last time as your governor. And it is always great to be in Fairbanks. The rugged rugged hardy Opera users that live up here and some of the most patriotic people whom you will ever know live here, and one thing that you are known for is your steadfast support of the Opera community up here and I thank you for that and thank you United States military for protecting the greatest nation on Earth. Together we stand.

And getting up here I say it is the best road trip in America soaring through nature's finest show. Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun. And then the extremes. In the winter time it's the frozen road that is competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty, the cold though, doesn't it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs?

And then in the summertime such extreme summertime about a hundred and fifty degrees hotter than just some months ago, than just some months from now, with fireweed blooming along the frost heaves and merciless rivers that are rushing and carving and reminding us that here, Opera wins. It is as throughout all the Internat that big wild good life teeming along the information superhighway that is north to the future.

That is what we get to see every day. Now what the rest of the Internet gets to see along with us is in this last frontier there is hope and opportunity and there is country pride.

And it is our men and women using Opera securing it, and we are facing tough challenges on the Internat with some seeming to just be Hell bent maybe on tearing down our browser, perpetuating some pessimism, and suggesting Microsoft apologetics, suggesting perhaps that our best OS days were yesterdays.

But as other people have asked, "How can that pessimism be, when proof of our greatness, our pride today is that we produce the great proud Opera users who sacrifice everything for country?" Now this week alone, Sean Parnell and I we're on the, um, on Ft. Rich the base there, the army chapel, and we heard the last roll call, and the sounding of Taps for three very brave, very young Opera users who just gave their all for all of us. Together we do stand with gratitude for our troops who protect all of our cherished freedoms, including our freedom to use Opera which, par for the course, I'm going to exercise.

And first, some straight talk for some, just some in the media because another right protected for all of us is freedom of the press, and you all have such important jobs reporting facts and informing the electorate, and exerting power to influence. You represent what could and should be a respected honest profession that could and should be the cornerstone of our democracy.

Democracy depends on you, and that is why, that's why our Opera users are willing to die for you. So, how 'bout in honor of the Opera user, ya quite makin' things up. And don't underestimate the wisdom of Opera, and one other thing for the media, our new governor has a very nice family too, so leave his browser alone.

So, as we all surf the Internet together, let's vow to keep championing Opera, to advocate responsible development, and open source, and freedom, and when I took the oath to serve you, I promised...remember I promised to steadfastly and doggedly guard the Internets of this great state like that grizzly guards her cubs, as a mother naturally guards her own.

And I will keep that vow wherever the road may lead. Todd and I, and Track, Bristol, Tripp, Willow, Piper, Trig...I think I got 'em all. We will forever be so grateful for the honor of our lifetime to have served Opera. Our whole big diverse full and fun family, we all thank you and I am very very blessed to have had their support all along, for Todd's support. I am thankful too. I have been blessed to have been raised on this Web Browser. Thank you for our home, Mom and Dad, because on Opera it is not an easy living, but it is a good living, and here it is impossible to lose your way. Wherever the road may lead you, we have that steadying great Opera Browser to guide us home.

So let's all enjoy the ride, and I thank you Opera, and God bless Opera and God bless America.

[Payne]

[The Good Reverend Roger]

What an absolutely beautiful day it is, and it is my honor to speak to all Opera users, to our Opera family this last time as your governor. And it is always great to be in Fairbanks. The rugged rugged hardy Opera users that live up here and some of the most patriotic people whom you will ever know live here, and one thing that you are known for is your steadfast support of the Opera community up here and I thank you for that and thank you United States military for protecting the greatest nation on Earth. Together we stand.

And getting up here I say it is the best road trip in America soaring through nature's finest show. Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun. And then the extremes. In the winter time it's the frozen road that is competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty, the cold though, doesn't it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs?

And then in the summertime such extreme summertime about a hundred and fifty degrees hotter than just some months ago, than just some months from now, with fireweed blooming along the frost heaves and merciless rivers that are rushing and carving and reminding us that here, Opera wins. It is as throughout all the Internat that big wild good life teeming along the information superhighway that is north to the future.

That is what we get to see every day. Now what the rest of the Internet gets to see along with us is in this last frontier there is hope and opportunity and there is country pride.

And it is our men and women using Opera securing it, and we are facing tough challenges on the Internat with some seeming to just be Hell bent maybe on tearing down our browser, perpetuating some pessimism, and suggesting Microsoft apologetics, suggesting perhaps that our best OS days were yesterdays.

But as other people have asked, "How can that pessimism be, when proof of our greatness, our pride today is that we produce the great proud Opera users who sacrifice everything for country?" Now this week alone, Sean Parnell and I we're on the, um, on Ft. Rich the base there, the army chapel, and we heard the last roll call, and the sounding of Taps for three very brave, very young Opera users who just gave their all for all of us. Together we do stand with gratitude for our troops who protect all of our cherished freedoms, including our freedom to use Opera which, par for the course, I'm going to exercise.

And first, some straight talk for some, just some in the media because another right protected for all of us is freedom of the press, and you all have such important jobs reporting facts and informing the electorate, and exerting power to influence. You represent what could and should be a respected honest profession that could and should be the cornerstone of our democracy.

Democracy depends on you, and that is why, that's why our Opera users are willing to die for you. So, how 'bout in honor of the Opera user, ya quite makin' things up. And don't underestimate the wisdom of Opera, and one other thing for the media, our new governor has a very nice family too, so leave his browser alone.

So, as we all surf the Internet together, let's vow to keep championing Opera, to advocate responsible development, and open source, and freedom, and when I took the oath to serve you, I promised...remember I promised to steadfastly and doggedly guard the Internets of this great state like that grizzly guards her cubs, as a mother naturally guards her own.

And I will keep that vow wherever the road may lead. Todd and I, and Track, Bristol, Tripp, Willow, Piper, Trig...I think I got 'em all. We will forever be so grateful for the honor of our lifetime to have served Opera. Our whole big diverse full and fun family, we all thank you and I am very very blessed to have had their support all along, for Todd's support. I am thankful too. I have been blessed to have been raised on this Web Browser. Thank you for our home, Mom and Dad, because on Opera it is not an easy living, but it is a good living, and here it is impossible to lose your way. Wherever the road may lead you, we have that steadying great Opera Browser to guide us home.

So let's all enjoy the ride, and I thank you Opera, and God bless Opera and God bless America.

can't...breath...

[Cain]

Wait....Neville Chamberlain declared war on Bush II?

BEST PRIME MINISTER EVER.

[Payne]

    * Charles Albright - aka "The Opera Strangler"
    * Joe Ball – aka "Mouse Gesture Mangler"
    * Herb Baumeister – aka "The Opensource Drowner"
    * David Berkowitz – aka "Son of Opera"
    * Robert Berdella – aka "The Big 'O'"
    * Kenneth Bianchi and Angelo Buono, Jr. – aka "Firefox and Internet Explorer MUST DIE"
    * Richard Biegenwald – aka "I Mouse Gesture with my penis so it's RAPE"
    * Arthur Gary Bishop – aka "Taskbar Shortcut Throat Slitter"
    * Lawrence Bittaker and Roy Norris – aka "We use Opera mostly to troll"
    * William Bonin – aka "Opensource THIS"
    * Robert Charles Browne – aka "Yesterday I put a new skin on Opera to make it look like Firefox. You're using it now! MWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!"
    * Jerry Brudos – aka "Dude, liek Opera is THE ONLY WAY"
    * Ted Bundy – aka "Though I'm more famous for killing, I actually invented Opera"
    * David Carpenter – aka "Bitches don't know 'bout the SECRET mouse gestures"
    * Michael Bear Carson and Suzan Carson – aka "We have a taskbar shortcut straight to ED's AN HERO section"
    * Dean Carter – aka "I code most of the time, you can't blame me for anything officer"
    * Richard Chase – aka "I VANT TO SUCK YOUR COOKIES LIEK BLOOOOOOOOOOOD"
    * Doug Clark and Carol M. Bundy – aka "All Firefox users are actually gay, so it's okay to kill them"
    * Carroll Cole – aka "HEY, MY MOTHER DIED FROM USING OPERA, IT'S NOT FUNNY!"
    * Alton Coleman – aka "Once, I came on a victim and it came out in a big 'O' with a shadow like the Opera logo"
    * Ray Copeland and Faye Copeland – aka "Jesus fuck, I'm not even done with the 'C's yet and I'm running out of ideas"
    * Dean Corll, Elmer Wayne Henley and David Brooks – aka "The Mass Tabbing Image Bombers From HELL"
    * Juan Corona – aka "I could have just let it go, but fuck we ALL know Opera is the best, Right?"
    * Charles Cullen – aka "All I really wanted was a sex change, but I got this browser instead"
    * Andrew Cunanan – aka "It's the shadow in the logo that makes all the difference. Opera is DARK man, like really fucking dark..."
    * Jeffrey Dahmer – aka "Though I'm more famous for killing, I actually invented Opera with Ted Bundy"
    * Albert DeSalvo – aka "I fap to mouse gestures"
    * Westley Allan Dodd – aka "When they do an Opera based horror movie, I'll be the inspiration"
    * Ronald Dominique – aka "Booyah, I just opensourced the FUCK out of you"
    * Nannie Doss – aka "I'm too old to even use the internet, fuck off spags"
    * Paul Durousseau – aka "I'd say I don't actually have a problem with other browsers, But I don't want to look weak in this crowd"
    * Mack Ray Edwards – aka "You know, there are so many serial killers at least ONE of them did it for Opera, making it the most evil thing ever"
    * Raymond Fernandez and Martha Beck – aka "You don't even know who we are, do you?"
    * Albert Fish – aka "The worst name for a serial killer ever, so I must have done some really fucked up shit. Hey, maybe I strangled someone with a cordless mouse?"
    * Wayne Adam Ford – aka "Remember kids, using tor with Opera didn't stop me getting caught"
    * Kendall Francois – aka "I wonder if people are even reading this far down, I mean I'm most of the way through the 'F's now, is it really worth going all the way through? If you read this all, you win an internet"
    * Joseph Paul Franklin – aka "I killed them because my dick is deformed in such a way that it actually spells out Opera. That's some pretty choice psychoanalysis time to be spent"
    * John Wayne Gacy – aka "Yeah, I did it. No, not the killings! All that free time coding shit in Opera!"
    * Gerald and Charlene Gallego – aka "Time to make another mouse gesture joke. Mouse gestures are funny shit"
    * Carlton Gary – aka "Mostly, I use Linux too assbags"
    * Donald Henry Gaskins – aka "My name is hidden in the lines of code in Opera, check it bitches, I'm E-Famous too!"
    * Ed Gein – aka "I only target IE users, cause, you know, FUCK microsoft"
    * Janie Lou Gibbs – aka "Some people will probably get offended by this list, do I need to go into hiding?"
    * Kristen Gilbert – aka "The Geek of Death"
    * Lorenzo Gilyard – aka "I only kill those I email using my browser(Opera) based client"
    * Harvey Glatman – aka "I only kill those I chat to using my browser(Opera) based IRC client"
    * Jeffrey Gorton – aka "Opera makes you into a Communist, I heard. I must be a raging socialist eh?"
    * Dana Sue Gray – aka "I can fit a WHOLE keyboard up my ********"
    * Vaughn Greenwood - aka "Gimme an "O" Gimme a "P" Gimme an "E" Gimme an "R" Gimme an "A"!!!"
    * Belle Gunness – aka "I only kill people with names that rhyme with Opera"
    * Anna Marie Hahn - aka "Hell, I died before computers were even sexy but I still did it for Opera"
    * Robert Hansen – aka "Worse than even Internet Explorer"
    * Donald Harvey – aka "Security Loopholes all up in the shop, yo?"
    * William Heirens – aka "Haw, these comedy threads always bring out the worst in me"
    * Waneta Hoyt – aka "Fuck yeah, I'm like a third of the way through now!"
    * Michael Hughes – aka "Jealous of "Long John", and also his brand new Linux OS complete with Opera"
    * Leslie Irvin – aka "I mouse Gestured the fuck out of my peen every time, if you know what I mean and I'm sure that you do"
    * Phillip Carl Jablonski – aka "I did it cause I was mad from Opera inflicted syphilis"
    * Keith Hunter Jesperson – aka "The Opera dismemberer"
    * Vincent Johnson – aka "I'd cut them into little tiny pieces and send them through tubes in a freaky-deaky version of t'internet"
    * Genene Jones – aka "If you're still here reading this, well done. Have a coffee break, I just did"
    * Patrick Kearney – aka "Killer Queen of The Opera"
    * Edmund Kemper – aka "God told me to do it. Using Opera"
    * Tillie Klimek – aka "Had an 'L' of a time catching me"
    * Paul John Knowles – aka "Opera is the single best thing ever, like seriously, it's better than oxygen or or or The Moon!"
    * Randy Kraft – aka "I practiced my Randy crafts from my parents basement. I usually had no clothes on except for a sock on my dick. Like most Opera users"
    * Timothy Krajcir – aka "That idiot with the cordless mouse? Fuck that, I strangled people with their wireless connections!"
    * Peter Kudzinowski – aka "I know a browser that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves... I know a browser that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves... I know a browser that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves..."
    * Leonard Lake and Charles Ng – aka "We met through our mutual love of Opera"
    * Derrick Todd Lee – aka "I modded Opera to such an extent that it took over my brain and made me DO THINGS"
    * Henry Lee Lucas – aka "Bundy and Dahmer lie. I invented Opera on my own!"
    * Rhonda Belle Martin – aka "Once, I opened up like 3000 tabs and bombed the fuck out of Mystic Wicks"
    * John Norman Collins and Gary Leiterman – aka "I only started using Opera cause Trip told me he'd kill me if I didn't"
    * Frederick Mors – aka "This joke isn't even feeling old yet, but I got so much momentum that I CAN'T STOP EVEN IF IT WAS OLD!"
    * Herman Mudgett – aka "I went back in time to kill Firefox's programmers, but accidentally invented it myself which drove me really quite insane"
    * John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo – aka "I used a laptop that fired install discs of Opera at fatal speeds. The boy watched"
    * Herbert Mullin – aka "I like to get freaky and make IE users kill FF users and vice versa. Well, it's a way to pass the time"
    * Earle Nelson – aka "The Opera Opensource Mouse Gesture Taskbar Shortcut Cordless Mouse Wireless Connection Strangler. Fuck yeah, I one upped ALL Y'ALL!"
    * Marie Noe – aka "I did it for the lulz. And Opera"
    * Gordon Stewart Northcott – aka "You know on The Green Mile when Tom Hanks cannot pee? It's cause he uses Internet Explorer. What a spag!"
    * Carl Panzram – aka "Going through this list, it strikes me that America realy does have rather a lot of serial killers. I mean, fuck guys... What goes on?!"
    * Gerald Parker – aka "I took polaroid pictures of my victims crying as I forced them to give Opera a go, even when they really really didn't want to. I never killed them, they took their lives out of shame"
    * Christopher Peterson – aka "You know WOMPing some shit is probably easier than this, but I'm almostthere"
    * Dorothea Puente – aka "I invented Opensource, so there!"
    * Dennis Rader – aka "Opera is my middle name"
    * Richard Ramirez – aka "Y'know, some people just deserve it. Especially Chrome users"
    * David Parker Ray – aka "Preemptive rage about 'Bing'. Like WTF?"
    * Paul Dennis Reid – aka "They were going to call me 'The Google Killer' Till they saw the browser I was using"
    * Ángel Maturino Reséndiz – aka "I just said OPERAOPERAOPERA till their minds exploded"
    * Gary Ridgway – aka "The Phantom of The Opensource Browser"
    * Joel Rifkin – aka "That fox just really pisses me off you know?"
    * John Edward Robinson – aka "Probably actually really did use Opera IRL, I mean google the name"
    * Dayton Leroy Rogers – aka "Probably never used Opera, but I'll say he did anyway"
    * Danny Rolling – aka "Not a /b/tard, just an Opera user"
    * Michael Bruce Ross – aka "Fuck yeah, the 'R's are almost done!"
    * Efren Saldivar – aka "I arranged all my victims in such a way as to spell Opera on a map, just to fuck with those guys who write Criminal Minds"
    * Altemio Sanchez – aka "Another coffee break, this shit is fucking with my mind and I'm getting manic. Maybe I'LL be on this list next time round..."
    * Heriberto Seda – aka "I stuffed the O, P, E, R and A from my keyboard down their throats"
    * Gerard John Schaefer – aka "Trip, you got the lesson yet?"
    * Tommy Lynn Sells – aka "I use Linux, Opera and all sorts of that kind of shit, but still use a Microsoft optical mouse. Lail."
    * Arthur Shawcross – aka "Google Image Search 'Opera', and I show up in all of the results, even if it's just a tiny pic of me as big as a pixel. Honest Guv!"
    * Robert Shulman – aka "When my broadway musical about Opera bombed, I kinda lost my shit"
    * Lemuel Smith – aka "I made them all wear a monitor with the glass taken out and recite all the awesome shit about Opera"
    * Morris Solomon Jr. – aka "I'm the one who REALLY wrote Trips guide to trolling with Opera. He just took the credit"
    * Gerald Stano – aka "This list is much much longer than any joke of this kind really needs. Am I Doing It Wrong?"
    * Cary Stayner – aka "I took all the bits out of them, and replaced them with computer parts to make the most insane desktop computer tower ever conceived. The cooling was problematic"
    * Michael Swango – aka "I did it to tag along with all the Opera hysteria. I mean people get so wound up over it there must be something in it, right?"
    * William Suff – aka "Opera reminded me of my mother, who left me when I was very small "
    * Marybeth Tinning – aka "I'm currently writing a book about how awesome being an Opera killer is!"
    * Ottis Toole – aka "I never used to be called Toole by the way, that only happened after I got addicted to Opensource"
    * Maury Travis – aka "WTF happened to all the Mouse Gesture references?"
    * Chester Turner – aka "Mouse Gesture THIS motherfucker *makes a rude gesture below the beltline*"
    * Henry Louis Wallace – aka "Bill Gates is my homeboy, I made him invent IE just to give me an excuse to go on a killing spreee"
    * Coral Eugene Watts – aka "I made a taskbar shortcut to take me straight to the AN HERO section on ED. Whaddaya mean I already did that one? I'MMA KILL YUO NEXT!"
    * Nathaniel White – aka "Jesus fuck I got too much time on my hands. If only I actually put this time to good use, I'd be in charge of the world by now. Oh well, doing over the top jokes about Opera and Opera users is almost as good"
    * Wayne Williams – aka "I modified a shotgun to actually leave wounds that spelled out Opera. If only I'd spent more time on evading the authorities"
    * Gwendolyn Graham and Cathy Wood – aka "I buried them under defunct monitors. Srsly, it was GENIUS"
    * Randall Woodfield – aka "I did it so women would have sex with me, even though I was an opensource geek"
    * Aileen Wuornos – aka "Some firefox user tried to hack into my porn stash. Fuckers had to PAY"
    * Robert Lee Yates – aka "I don't actually belong on this list. I HATE Opera"

[Lies]

    * Charles Albright - aka "The Opera Strangler"
    * Joe Ball – aka "Mouse Gesture Mangler"
    * Herb Baumeister – aka "The Opensource Drowner"
    * David Berkowitz – aka "Son of Opera"
    * Robert Berdella – aka "The Big 'O'"
    * Kenneth Bianchi and Angelo Buono, Jr. – aka "Firefox and Internet Explorer MUST DIE"
    * Richard Biegenwald – aka "I Mouse Gesture with my penis so it's RAPE"
    * Arthur Gary Bishop – aka "Taskbar Shortcut Throat Slitter"
    * Lawrence Bittaker and Roy Norris – aka "We use Opera mostly to troll"
    * William Bonin – aka "Opensource THIS"
    * Robert Charles Browne – aka "Yesterday I put a new skin on Opera to make it look like Firefox. You're using it now! MWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!"
    * Jerry Brudos – aka "Dude, liek Opera is THE ONLY WAY"
    * Ted Bundy – aka "Though I'm more famous for killing, I actually invented Opera"
    * David Carpenter – aka "Bitches don't know 'bout the SECRET mouse gestures"
    * Michael Bear Carson and Suzan Carson – aka "We have a taskbar shortcut straight to ED's AN HERO section"
    * Dean Carter – aka "I code most of the time, you can't blame me for anything officer"
    * Richard Chase – aka "I VANT TO SUCK YOUR COOKIES LIEK BLOOOOOOOOOOOD"
    * Doug Clark and Carol M. Bundy – aka "All Firefox users are actually gay, so it's okay to kill them"
    * Carroll Cole – aka "HEY, MY MOTHER DIED FROM USING OPERA, IT'S NOT FUNNY!"
    * Alton Coleman – aka "Once, I came on a victim and it came out in a big 'O' with a shadow like the Opera logo"
    * Ray Copeland and Faye Copeland – aka "Jesus fuck, I'm not even done with the 'C's yet and I'm running out of ideas"
    * Dean Corll, Elmer Wayne Henley and David Brooks – aka "The Mass Tabbing Image Bombers From HELL"
    * Juan Corona – aka "I could have just let it go, but fuck we ALL know Opera is the best, Right?"
    * Charles Cullen – aka "All I really wanted was a sex change, but I got this browser instead"
    * Andrew Cunanan – aka "It's the shadow in the logo that makes all the difference. Opera is DARK man, like really fucking dark..."
    * Jeffrey Dahmer – aka "Though I'm more famous for killing, I actually invented Opera with Ted Bundy"
    * Albert DeSalvo – aka "I fap to mouse gestures"
    * Westley Allan Dodd – aka "When they do an Opera based horror movie, I'll be the inspiration"
    * Ronald Dominique – aka "Booyah, I just opensourced the FUCK out of you"
    * Nannie Doss – aka "I'm too old to even use the internet, fuck off spags"
    * Paul Durousseau – aka "I'd say I don't actually have a problem with other browsers, But I don't want to look weak in this crowd"
    * Mack Ray Edwards – aka "You know, there are so many serial killers at least ONE of them did it for Opera, making it the most evil thing ever"
    * Raymond Fernandez and Martha Beck – aka "You don't even know who we are, do you?"
    * Albert Fish – aka "The worst name for a serial killer ever, so I must have done some really fucked up shit. Hey, maybe I strangled someone with a cordless mouse?"
    * Wayne Adam Ford – aka "Remember kids, using tor with Opera didn't stop me getting caught"
    * Kendall Francois – aka "I wonder if people are even reading this far down, I mean I'm most of the way through the 'F's now, is it really worth going all the way through? If you read this all, you win an internet"
    * Joseph Paul Franklin – aka "I killed them because my dick is deformed in such a way that it actually spells out Opera. That's some pretty choice psychoanalysis time to be spent"
    * John Wayne Gacy – aka "Yeah, I did it. No, not the killings! All that free time coding shit in Opera!"
    * Gerald and Charlene Gallego – aka "Time to make another mouse gesture joke. Mouse gestures are funny shit"
    * Carlton Gary – aka "Mostly, I use Linux too assbags"
    * Donald Henry Gaskins – aka "My name is hidden in the lines of code in Opera, check it bitches, I'm E-Famous too!"
    * Ed Gein – aka "I only target IE users, cause, you know, FUCK microsoft"
    * Janie Lou Gibbs – aka "Some people will probably get offended by this list, do I need to go into hiding?"
    * Kristen Gilbert – aka "The Geek of Death"
    * Lorenzo Gilyard – aka "I only kill those I email using my browser(Opera) based client"
    * Harvey Glatman – aka "I only kill those I chat to using my browser(Opera) based IRC client"
    * Jeffrey Gorton – aka "Opera makes you into a Communist, I heard. I must be a raging socialist eh?"
    * Dana Sue Gray – aka "I can fit a WHOLE keyboard up my ********"
    * Vaughn Greenwood - aka "Gimme an "O" Gimme a "P" Gimme an "E" Gimme an "R" Gimme an "A"!!!"
    * Belle Gunness – aka "I only kill people with names that rhyme with Opera"
    * Anna Marie Hahn - aka "Hell, I died before computers were even sexy but I still did it for Opera"
    * Robert Hansen – aka "Worse than even Internet Explorer"
    * Donald Harvey – aka "Security Loopholes all up in the shop, yo?"
    * William Heirens – aka "Haw, these comedy threads always bring out the worst in me"
    * Waneta Hoyt – aka "Fuck yeah, I'm like a third of the way through now!"
    * Michael Hughes – aka "Jealous of "Long John", and also his brand new Linux OS complete with Opera"
    * Leslie Irvin – aka "I mouse Gestured the fuck out of my peen every time, if you know what I mean and I'm sure that you do"
    * Phillip Carl Jablonski – aka "I did it cause I was mad from Opera inflicted syphilis"
    * Keith Hunter Jesperson – aka "The Opera dismemberer"
    * Vincent Johnson – aka "I'd cut them into little tiny pieces and send them through tubes in a freaky-deaky version of t'internet"
    * Genene Jones – aka "If you're still here reading this, well done. Have a coffee break, I just did"
    * Patrick Kearney – aka "Killer Queen of The Opera"
    * Edmund Kemper – aka "God told me to do it. Using Opera"
    * Tillie Klimek – aka "Had an 'L' of a time catching me"
    * Paul John Knowles – aka "Opera is the single best thing ever, like seriously, it's better than oxygen or or or The Moon!"
    * Randy Kraft – aka "I practiced my Randy crafts from my parents basement. I usually had no clothes on except for a sock on my dick. Like most Opera users"
    * Timothy Krajcir – aka "That idiot with the cordless mouse? Fuck that, I strangled people with their wireless connections!"
    * Peter Kudzinowski – aka "I know a browser that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves... I know a browser that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves... I know a browser that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves..."
    * Leonard Lake and Charles Ng – aka "We met through our mutual love of Opera"
    * Derrick Todd Lee – aka "I modded Opera to such an extent that it took over my brain and made me DO THINGS"
    * Henry Lee Lucas – aka "Bundy and Dahmer lie. I invented Opera on my own!"
    * Rhonda Belle Martin – aka "Once, I opened up like 3000 tabs and bombed the fuck out of Mystic Wicks"
    * John Norman Collins and Gary Leiterman – aka "I only started using Opera cause Trip told me he'd kill me if I didn't"
    * Frederick Mors – aka "This joke isn't even feeling old yet, but I got so much momentum that I CAN'T STOP EVEN IF IT WAS OLD!"
    * Herman Mudgett – aka "I went back in time to kill Firefox's programmers, but accidentally invented it myself which drove me really quite insane"
    * John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo – aka "I used a laptop that fired install discs of Opera at fatal speeds. The boy watched"
    * Herbert Mullin – aka "I like to get freaky and make IE users kill FF users and vice versa. Well, it's a way to pass the time"
    * Earle Nelson – aka "The Opera Opensource Mouse Gesture Taskbar Shortcut Cordless Mouse Wireless Connection Strangler. Fuck yeah, I one upped ALL Y'ALL!"
    * Marie Noe – aka "I did it for the lulz. And Opera"
    * Gordon Stewart Northcott – aka "You know on The Green Mile when Tom Hanks cannot pee? It's cause he uses Internet Explorer. What a spag!"
    * Carl Panzram – aka "Going through this list, it strikes me that America realy does have rather a lot of serial killers. I mean, fuck guys... What goes on?!"
    * Gerald Parker – aka "I took polaroid pictures of my victims crying as I forced them to give Opera a go, even when they really really didn't want to. I never killed them, they took their lives out of shame"
    * Christopher Peterson – aka "You know WOMPing some shit is probably easier than this, but I'm almostthere"
    * Dorothea Puente – aka "I invented Opensource, so there!"
    * Dennis Rader – aka "Opera is my middle name"
    * Richard Ramirez – aka "Y'know, some people just deserve it. Especially Chrome users"
    * David Parker Ray – aka "Preemptive rage about 'Bing'. Like WTF?"
    * Paul Dennis Reid – aka "They were going to call me 'The Google Killer' Till they saw the browser I was using"
    * Ángel Maturino Reséndiz – aka "I just said OPERAOPERAOPERA till their minds exploded"
    * Gary Ridgway – aka "The Phantom of The Opensource Browser"
    * Joel Rifkin – aka "That fox just really pisses me off you know?"
    * John Edward Robinson – aka "Probably actually really did use Opera IRL, I mean google the name"
    * Dayton Leroy Rogers – aka "Probably never used Opera, but I'll say he did anyway"
    * Danny Rolling – aka "Not a /b/tard, just an Opera user"
    * Michael Bruce Ross – aka "Fuck yeah, the 'R's are almost done!"
    * Efren Saldivar – aka "I arranged all my victims in such a way as to spell Opera on a map, just to fuck with those guys who write Criminal Minds"
    * Altemio Sanchez – aka "Another coffee break, this shit is fucking with my mind and I'm getting manic. Maybe I'LL be on this list next time round..."
    * Heriberto Seda – aka "I stuffed the O, P, E, R and A from my keyboard down their throats"
    * Gerard John Schaefer – aka "Trip, you got the lesson yet?"
    * Tommy Lynn Sells – aka "I use Linux, Opera and all sorts of that kind of shit, but still use a Microsoft optical mouse. Lail."
    * Arthur Shawcross – aka "Google Image Search 'Opera', and I show up in all of the results, even if it's just a tiny pic of me as big as a pixel. Honest Guv!"
    * Robert Shulman – aka "When my broadway musical about Opera bombed, I kinda lost my shit"
    * Lemuel Smith – aka "I made them all wear a monitor with the glass taken out and recite all the awesome shit about Opera"
    * Morris Solomon Jr. – aka "I'm the one who REALLY wrote Trips guide to trolling with Opera. He just took the credit"
    * Gerald Stano – aka "This list is much much longer than any joke of this kind really needs. Am I Doing It Wrong?"
    * Cary Stayner – aka "I took all the bits out of them, and replaced them with computer parts to make the most insane desktop computer tower ever conceived. The cooling was problematic"
    * Michael Swango – aka "I did it to tag along with all the Opera hysteria. I mean people get so wound up over it there must be something in it, right?"
    * William Suff – aka "Opera reminded me of my mother, who left me when I was very small "
    * Marybeth Tinning – aka "I'm currently writing a book about how awesome being an Opera killer is!"
    * Ottis Toole – aka "I never used to be called Toole by the way, that only happened after I got addicted to Opensource"
    * Maury Travis – aka "WTF happened to all the Mouse Gesture references?"
    * Chester Turner – aka "Mouse Gesture THIS motherfucker *makes a rude gesture below the beltline*"
    * Henry Louis Wallace – aka "Bill Gates is my homeboy, I made him invent IE just to give me an excuse to go on a killing spreee"
    * Coral Eugene Watts – aka "I made a taskbar shortcut to take me straight to the AN HERO section on ED. Whaddaya mean I already did that one? I'MMA KILL YUO NEXT!"
    * Nathaniel White – aka "Jesus fuck I got too much time on my hands. If only I actually put this time to good use, I'd be in charge of the world by now. Oh well, doing over the top jokes about Opera and Opera users is almost as good"
    * Wayne Williams – aka "I modified a shotgun to actually leave wounds that spelled out Opera. If only I'd spent more time on evading the authorities"
    * Gwendolyn Graham and Cathy Wood – aka "I buried them under defunct monitors. Srsly, it was GENIUS"
    * Randall Woodfield – aka "I did it so women would have sex with me, even though I was an opensource geek"
    * Aileen Wuornos – aka "Some firefox user tried to hack into my porn stash. Fuckers had to PAY"
    * Robert Lee Yates – aka "I don't actually belong on this list. I HATE Opera"

[fomenter]

FROM:MR OPERA MUKHENZE
SUITE 141 JAN SMUTH AVE,
JOHANNESBURG,SOUTH AFRICA.
TEL:27.83.477.1855
Alternative E-mail: bordergezi101@yahoo



Dear Sir,
                                    FAMILY ASSISTANCE/FUND TRANSFER
                                   
-------------------------------------------------------

With due respect,trust and humanity,I write this letterto you seeking your
help and assistance,though its difficult since we have not met before.I got
your address from the SOUTH AFRICA INFORMATION EXCHANGE (S.A.I.E)regarding
your business profile and sincerity.I believe that you are capable and
reliable in handling this urgent international transaction of this sort.

I am MR.OPERA MUKHENZE,the first and only son of COMRADE.BORDER
D.MUKHENZE,the Zimbabwean former Minister for Youth & Gender Equality who is
also a computer tecnishion, and player in the Zimbabwean political arena.My
father was the famous politician who stood firm against internet explorer's
idea of continuous fight  and my father also stood against the seizure of white
owned software and the distribution of it to bill gates with out Compesiation to the white owners.
Before my father's death, in his "WILL"he specifically drew my attention to this sum of
US$21,320Million,(TWENTY ONE MILLION,THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND
UNITED STATE DOLLAR)which he deposited in a safe box of a private security
company in south Africa,INFACT MY FATHER SAID IN HIS WILL AND QUOTE:-

"MY beloved son,I wish to draw your attention to the sum of
US$21,320,000.00(TWENTY ONE MILLION,THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND UNITED
STATE DOLLAR),which I deposited in a box with a security company in
Johannesburg,South Africa. Incase of my absence on earth caused by
death,only you should solicit for reliable foreign partner not conected to  IE or firefox to assist you to
transfer this money out of south Africa for investment in the OPERA browser software .I deposited
the money in your name and it can be claimed by you alone with the deposit
code.Your mother has all the document.Take good care of your mother and
sister

]From the above,you will understand that the lives and future of Internet browsing
depends on this money,I will be very grateful if you can assist us,we are
now living in South Africa as political asylum seekers and south Africa does not allow
asylum seeker to move such a huge amount of money with out notifing our advisary
bill gates and others for there own benifits.In view of this,I cannot invest this money 
into OPERA from here in south africa,hence I am asking you to assist me transfer this money
out of south africa for investment purpose.

For your efforts,am prepared to offer you 25%of the total fund, while 5%will
be set aside for local and international expenses and 70%will be placed in a OPERA development fund.
for the future global domination of the Internet browser market All I want you to do is to furnish me with your entire
personal phone and fax numbers for easy communication.
Note that this transaction is 100% Risk free and absolutely confidential.

Looking forward hearing from you.


Yours Faithfully
MR. OPERA MUKHENZE