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Author Topic: Roger's Got a Brand New Bag  (Read 44749 times)

The Good Reverend Roger

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Roger's Got a Brand New Bag
« on: August 31, 2009, 03:29:17 am »
The Good Reverend has decided to convert to evangelical Christianity.

There.  I said it.

There are many reasons for this decision, and I'd like you all to consider them.  First and foremost, the weird sex...Apparently, a requirement for being an evangelical Christian pastor is to have deranged sex with as many members of your congregation as is humanly possible.  Best of all, you don't have to have sex in filthy airport bathrooms unless you also happen to be a congressman.

Second, the money.  Have you SEEN the long green these guys pull down?  They make in about 10 minutes what I make in a year, and it's TAX FREE (within limits...we must remember the fate of Jim Bakker, who laughed at all the wrong jokes until they threw him in prison).  As a famous pastor once said, Jesus wore designer clothes.  I seek only to emulate him.

Third, and possibly the most important reason, is that I've had it up to HERE with the mamby-pamby prophecies put forth by the wimps and losers who have dared to step up where Robert Tilton fell.  With the exception of my personal hero, Pat Robertson, these guys are afraid to call down the anger of an angry God on anyone.  Sure, they holler that God is gonna kill us all because we don't execute homosexuals, but when was the last time they actually stood up and invoked the wrath of the almighty?  No, no, only Pat Robertson had the GUTS to DEMAND that God kill 4 supreme court justices, the state department, and every feminist, everywhere...and for that, I shall always look up to him as a mentor and role model.

The first Podcasts should go up this week, and if you don't watch them, you're going to hell. 

Or kill me.

TGRR,
Mad Profit Prophet
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" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
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Kai

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Re: Roger's Got a Brand New Bag
« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2009, 04:18:59 am »
Praise the Lord! Halleluja!
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Roger's Got a Brand New Bag
« Reply #2 on: August 31, 2009, 04:37:17 am »
Quote from: Kai on August 31, 2009, 04:18:59 am
Praise the Lord! Halleluja!

Thank you, Brother, and please put your love offering on the plate when it comes by.
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" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

fomenter

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Re: Roger's Got a Brand New Bag
« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2009, 04:56:53 am »
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 31, 2009, 04:37:17 am
Quote from: Kai on August 31, 2009, 04:18:59 am
Praise the Lord! Halleluja!

Thank you, Brother, and please put your love offering on the plate when it comes by.
:lmnuendo:
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Roger's Got a Brand New Bag
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2009, 04:58:10 am »
Quote from: fomenter on August 31, 2009, 04:56:53 am
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 31, 2009, 04:37:17 am
Quote from: Kai on August 31, 2009, 04:18:59 am
Praise the Lord! Halleluja!

Thank you, Brother, and please put your love offering on the plate when it comes by.
:lmnuendo:

Just what I would expect from a Godless freak such as yourself, sir.
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" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Roger's Got a Brand New Bag
« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2009, 08:12:42 am »
This should be interesting.

But it makes me think I should have the chance to show The Good Reverend my particular brand of Slack, which may not be profitable but IS relaxing.
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Re: Roger's Got a Brand New Bag
« Reply #6 on: August 31, 2009, 08:13:54 am »
Oh hey. That sounded probably dirty. And perhaps my brand of Slack is dirty, but not in an LMNO way. Because my brand of dirty is NOT relaxing.
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“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

Richter

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Re: Roger's Got a Brand New Bag
« Reply #7 on: August 31, 2009, 05:37:31 pm »
About time one of us did it.   :horrormirth:
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Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 am
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Roger's Got a Brand New Bag
« Reply #8 on: August 31, 2009, 05:51:21 pm »
Quote from: Richter on August 31, 2009, 05:37:31 pm
About time one of us did it.   :horrormirth:

Why the horrormirth?  Because I thought of it first?

There's plenty of room for associate ministers at The First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus, Richter.

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" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Richter

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Re: Roger's Got a Brand New Bag
« Reply #9 on: August 31, 2009, 06:09:09 pm »
The horrormirth is at the potential for it to work.
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Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 am
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Roger's Got a Brand New Bag
« Reply #10 on: August 31, 2009, 06:16:18 pm »
Quote from: Richter on August 31, 2009, 06:09:09 pm
The horrormirth is at the potential for it to work.

Of course it's going to work, if I actually do it.

I am contemplating quitting my job and fleecing the stupid for a living.  Problem, I don't actually seem to be a total moral vacuum, and I still have this "self respect" thing.  I need to work on these before I start.
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" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Richter

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Re: Roger's Got a Brand New Bag
« Reply #11 on: August 31, 2009, 07:39:54 pm »
That's what's hitting me too.

People will LISTEN.  They will be swayed, believe, and follow anyone with the right combination of loud, determined, and charismatic.  As terrifying as it is, I'd rather they were following me or people I like than some of the other yahoos.
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Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 am
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Roger's Got a Brand New Bag
« Reply #12 on: August 31, 2009, 07:40:42 pm »
Quote from: Richter on August 31, 2009, 07:39:54 pm
That's what's hitting me too.

People will LISTEN.  They will be swayed, believe, and follow anyone with the right combination of loud, determined, and charismatic.  As terrifying as it is, I'd rather they were following me or people I like than some of the other yahoos.

It's either us or Bill O'Reilly, eh?
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" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Richter

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Re: Roger's Got a Brand New Bag
« Reply #13 on: August 31, 2009, 10:51:27 pm »
Suppose it comes down to WHAT we do to them, then.
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Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 am
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

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Von Melee

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Re: Roger's Got a Brand New Bag
« Reply #14 on: August 31, 2009, 10:53:38 pm »
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 19, 1973, 06:31:37 pm

Of course it's going to work, if I actually do it.

I am contemplating quitting my job and fleecing the stupid for a living.  Problem, I don't actually seem to be a total moral vacuum, and I still have this "self respect" thing.  I need to work on these before I start.

We have much to work on. You'll need a good ole-fashioned "face o'Satan" to attack and demonize to your loyal stupids (when you get them) and convince them that they need to donate to put an end to this blasphemy against ZE ALMIGHTY!!!

I volunteer the patrons of the game shop. All of them.
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