NEW PD CONTEST: HORRORMIRTH.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

that shit was scary yo.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

 

haha!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

[The Good Reverend Roger]

[Telarus]

[The Good Reverend Roger]

[Jenne]

I want to do something on the order of:



But I'm still thinking...

[Enrico Salazar]

HORRORMIRTH: Birthday Wishes


Momo is boy's best friend, and sometime if lucky, lover too.  Momo always cherish her little Enrico, from the day he was born with knife clenched in his teeth - Momo never bat eyelash, she take it like like New Jersey hooker.  She love him, and when she see that he kill every other baby in maternity ward she know her son is destined to be in glorious world of politic.

She encourage him to not be content with position of "treasurer" in Ricardo Rat Fan Club, she say he should murder El Presidente, and take over his role, ruling with iron fist wrap in fly paper: no more complimentary memberships for children cripple, let them buy their membership old fashioned way - making mitten for stupid eskimos.  

Where was Enrico?  O yes, his Momo.  Thing go bad with Momo when she made Enrico give up Black Widow he had found in his bedroom closet... he keep it alive by feed it things like crickets, flies, mice, and small bird.  Momo finally find Black Widow, and make her move back next door, where she been neglecting her children since her husband die of diptheria.  Enrico never forgive his Momo for make him give up Mrs. Montobono.

It was on her birthday, April first, that Enrico show her what she mean to him... she had gone to see squid fights with Popo all morning, had stoned whores near wharfs, and had picked her fill from the polyester mines, and she come home tire and sore from walk all the time.  She enter first, as Enrico had demand from his father, and ran into Enrico's birthday surprise:  the old 'napalm above door' game.

Momo was trooper, she enjoy gift as much as everyone else, she know only her favorite son Enrico would think up something so horrid and so glorious.  She laugh.  She laugh as she die, her beautiful face melting to floor, where it wink one last time at Enrico.  It was birthday miracle, she always had been blind in that eye.  We laugh.  We laugh until we cry, thinking how she would never see 3D movies, as she had dreamed for so long.  Is sad and beautiful world.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

I want to do something on the order of:



But I'm still thinking...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH


gaaaaaaaaaasp

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

my GOD!!!

Also Broken AI 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

HORRORMIRTH: Birthday Wishes


Momo is boy's best friend, and sometime if lucky, lover too.  Momo always cherish her little Enrico, from the day he was born with knife clenched in his teeth - Momo never bat eyelash, she take it like like New Jersey hooker.  She love him, and when she see that he kill every other baby in maternity ward she know her son is destined to be in glorious world of politic.

She encourage him to not be content with position of "treasurer" in Ricardo Rat Fan Club, she say he should murder El Presidente, and take over his role, ruling with iron fist wrap in fly paper: no more complimentary memberships for children cripple, let them buy their membership old fashioned way - making mitten for stupid eskimos.  

Where was Enrico?  O yes, his Momo.  Thing go bad with Momo when she made Enrico give up Black Widow he had found in his bedroom closet... he keep it alive by feed it things like crickets, flies, mice, and small bird.  Momo finally find Black Widow, and make her move back next door, where she been neglecting her children since her husband die of diptheria.  Enrico never forgive his Momo for make him give up Mrs. Montobono.

It was on her birthday, April first, that Enrico show her what she mean to him... she had gone to see squid fights with Popo all morning, had stoned whores near wharfs, and had picked her fill from the polyester mines, and she come home tire and sore from walk all the time.  She enter first, as Enrico had demand from his father, and ran into Enrico's birthday surprise:  the old 'napalm above door' game.

Momo was trooper, she enjoy gift as much as everyone else, she know only her favorite son Enrico would think up something so horrid and so glorious.  She laugh.  She laugh as she die, her beautiful face melting to floor, where it wink one last time at Enrico.  It was birthday miracle, she always had been blind in that eye.  We laugh.  We laugh until we cry, thinking how she would never see 3D movies, as she had dreamed for so long.  Is sad and beautiful world.

Wow. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

HORRORMIRTH: Birthday Wishes


Momo is boy's best friend, and sometime if lucky, lover too.  Momo always cherish her little Enrico, from the day he was born with knife clenched in his teeth - Momo never bat eyelash, she take it like like New Jersey hooker.  She love him, and when she see that he kill every other baby in maternity ward she know her son is destined to be in glorious world of politic.

She encourage him to not be content with position of "treasurer" in Ricardo Rat Fan Club, she say he should murder El Presidente, and take over his role, ruling with iron fist wrap in fly paper: no more complimentary memberships for children cripple, let them buy their membership old fashioned way - making mitten for stupid eskimos.  

Where was Enrico?  O yes, his Momo.  Thing go bad with Momo when she made Enrico give up Black Widow he had found in his bedroom closet... he keep it alive by feed it things like crickets, flies, mice, and small bird.  Momo finally find Black Widow, and make her move back next door, where she been neglecting her children since her husband die of diptheria.  Enrico never forgive his Momo for make him give up Mrs. Montobono.

It was on her birthday, April first, that Enrico show her what she mean to him... she had gone to see squid fights with Popo all morning, had stoned whores near wharfs, and had picked her fill from the polyester mines, and she come home tire and sore from walk all the time.  She enter first, as Enrico had demand from his father, and ran into Enrico's birthday surprise:  the old 'napalm above door' game.

Momo was trooper, she enjoy gift as much as everyone else, she know only her favorite son Enrico would think up something so horrid and so glorious.  She laugh.  She laugh as she die, her beautiful face melting to floor, where it wink one last time at Enrico.  It was birthday miracle, she always had been blind in that eye.  We laugh.  We laugh until we cry, thinking how she would never see 3D movies, as she had dreamed for so long.  Is sad and beautiful world.

[Iason Ouabache]

HORRORMIRTH: Birthday Wishes


Momo is boy's best friend, and sometime if lucky, lover too.  Momo always cherish her little Enrico, from the day he was born with knife clenched in his teeth - Momo never bat eyelash, she take it like like New Jersey hooker.  She love him, and when she see that he kill every other baby in maternity ward she know her son is destined to be in glorious world of politic.

She encourage him to not be content with position of "treasurer" in Ricardo Rat Fan Club, she say he should murder El Presidente, and take over his role, ruling with iron fist wrap in fly paper: no more complimentary memberships for children cripple, let them buy their membership old fashioned way - making mitten for stupid eskimos.  

Where was Enrico?  O yes, his Momo.  Thing go bad with Momo when she made Enrico give up Black Widow he had found in his bedroom closet... he keep it alive by feed it things like crickets, flies, mice, and small bird.  Momo finally find Black Widow, and make her move back next door, where she been neglecting her children since her husband die of diptheria.  Enrico never forgive his Momo for make him give up Mrs. Montobono.

It was on her birthday, April first, that Enrico show her what she mean to him... she had gone to see squid fights with Popo all morning, had stoned whores near wharfs, and had picked her fill from the polyester mines, and she come home tire and sore from walk all the time.  She enter first, as Enrico had demand from his father, and ran into Enrico's birthday surprise:  the old 'napalm above door' game.

Momo was trooper, she enjoy gift as much as everyone else, she know only her favorite son Enrico would think up something so horrid and so glorious.  She laugh.  She laugh as she die, her beautiful face melting to floor, where it wink one last time at Enrico.  It was birthday miracle, she always had been blind in that eye.  We laugh.  We laugh until we cry, thinking how she would never see 3D movies, as she had dreamed for so long.  Is sad and beautiful world.

Welcome back from the dead, Generalissimo.

[Jenne]

On his birthday, too, no less.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Ever notice that even paleontologists get everything wrong?  I once read an article on Neanderthal man, and the scientists expressed puzzlement of why Neanderthals hog-tied their dead upon burial...a question that could easily be answered by anyone who has ever seen a George Romero film.  Oog the caveman falls over in a catatonic fit, the other cavemen figure he's dead, and buries him.  Then he wakes up, walks out of the sacred burial cave, and gets stabbed about 30 times, tied up, and jammed back in his hole.  Cavemen probably took the idea of the walking dead very seriously.  If they'd been more serious about dealing with those uppity Homo sapiens, instead of fucking off making cave paintings, they'd probably run the joint today.  But they didn't, so we killed them and ate them.

I'm The Good Reverend Roger, and there's nothing I like as much as Monkey Sandwich.

Now, there's no reason to believe that paleontologists will be any smarter in the future, either.  When they dig up our remains a few thousand years from now, they'll wonder why we used such big goddamn boxes to bury our dead.  That's because, of course, they'll be looking at the dried and crusty skeletons or dust outlines, not the huge mounds of blubber that we shoehorned into the casket with a hydraulic jack.

Yes, the sad fact of the matter is that the sum total of 3 billion years of evolution is a morbidly obese Wal-Mart customer riding a Rascal scooter with an oxygen bottle underneath that fat thing they have drooping between their ankles.  Eventually, we'll have to bury these people, and the joke will be on archeologists, and we can take comfort in the fact that they'll screw it up as bad as we probably screwed up the whole Egypt thing.

Fact is, our engineering skills have outraced our brains.  We CAN build an atomic bomb, so why the hell not?  For the lulz!  Also, shitty addictive food, television, and other Pink-taming drugs.  Our species should have an epitaph, when we finally wheeze off stage left, and that epitaph should be:  "Just because you can doesn't mean you should."

Or Kill me.

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

baleeted