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It's funny how the position for boot-licking is so close to the one used for curb-stomping.

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NEW PD CONTEST: HORRORMIRTH.

Started by LMNO, September 01, 2009, 03:35:02 PM

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rong

#45
September 16, 2009, 07:03:37 AM
"a real smart feller, he felt smart"

Cain

#46
September 16, 2009, 09:47:03 PM
I might have something suitable written up for tomorrow.

Iason Ouabache

#47
September 17, 2009, 02:03:59 AM
I'm confused...



Not original so not an official submission.
You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.
    \
┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

Suu

#48
September 17, 2009, 03:10:49 AM
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#49
September 17, 2009, 04:26:42 AM
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on September 17, 2009, 02:03:59 AM
I'm confused...



Not original so not an official submission.

Oh! That's so us.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Iason Ouabache

#50
September 17, 2009, 06:54:42 AM
Quote from: Nigel on September 17, 2009, 04:26:42 AM
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on September 17, 2009, 02:03:59 AM
I'm confused...



Not original so not an official submission.

Oh! That's so us.
The weird part is that it's from yesterday's Luann comic strip. It's usually super lame.
You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.
    \
┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

LMNO

#51
September 21, 2009, 03:52:40 PM

Cramulus

#52
September 21, 2009, 04:10:35 PM
THE ONLY RESPECTABLE ROLE MODELS IN THIS WORLD ARE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS
            \
I JUST TURNED 9, LET'S GET DRUNK!
             \




MY VIBRATOR HAS A "FRAPPE" SETTING
                           /







           HOW TO RECONCILE SAFETY AND PRIVACY?
           PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GLASS HOUSES
           GET DRESSED WITH THE LIGHTS OFF
                    /








MY RETIREMENT PLAN?
BUILD A BUNKER AND STOCK UP ON AMMO
           \




      CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE
                             \





DRUGS KICK ASS, BUT ONLY IF YOU'RE OVER 35
               \

The Good Reverend Roger

#53
September 21, 2009, 04:30:55 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on September 21, 2009, 04:10:35 PM
DRUGS KICK ASS, BUT ONLY IF YOU'RE OVER 35
               \


This.  You kids don't know how to rock n roll.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Pope Pixie Pickle

#54
September 22, 2009, 01:43:16 AM
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=22269.0

this is my entry into the Horrormirth Competition.

LMNO

#55
September 22, 2009, 03:18:59 PM
Damn, I finally got it out.












You never know when it will happen.  You could live your life on the edge of terror, or you could spend every night on the couch watching "Dancing With The Stars."  Come to think of it, both those scenarios are pretty similar.  No matter.  Either way, it will find you, eventually; that quiet, silent place where you are confronted with what some of like to call "The Horrible Truth".

It doesn't matter what terms you use: Void, Abyss, Heart of Darkness, Da'ath, Chapel Perilous... The experience is identical.  The veneer of society's decorum is stripped away, and you catch a glimpse of the small gears that move the universe.  And you awake, perhaps for the first time, to how closely we cling to the scripts we've been given.

The way you see reality slips off its axis, and you're reminded that we are a pack of primates who spend most of their time replaying the same old stories, repeatedly poking each other in the eye with sharp sticks.  And when we're not doing that, we're spending the rest of the time constructing elaborate justifications for why we act like angry monkeys rather than the humans we claim to be.  And then, like a mirror slowly coming into focus, you see that you're just like them.

Usually, when people reach this point, their brain wants to go in one of two directions: Either deny the experience, and search for some kind of meaning to it all, or spiral hopelessly down into nihilistic despair.  Some start believing in things they can't prove, and use the lack of proof as evidence that it must be a "higher Truth".  Others leap straight into meaninglessness, and use our base mechanical nature as an excuse to abandon their principles. But either way, the gears grind away.  Both directions miss the point.  They're two sides to a useless coin.  But there's another way: You can laugh at it.

After all, if comedy is tragedy plus time, isn't the history of Homo Sapiens simply one extended pratfall, millennia long?  The Universe might be absurd and meaningless, but that just makes it the oldest Monty Python sketch ever: John Cleese getting hit with a fish for all eternity.  Look at all the horrible shit we do to each other of our own Free Will, all the time saying, "look what you made me do."  It's the greatest farce in existence, and we are all the punchline.  Yeah, it might not be the nicest joke ever told, but that's ok.  You can give yourself permission to laugh.  You can feel it building, can't you?  The Horror is right in front of you, and it's RIDICULOUS.



You know you've got it right when it sounds identical to screaming.

LMNO

#56
September 23, 2009, 03:32:10 PM
An entry from Kai.

LMNO

#57
September 24, 2009, 04:52:39 PM
I submit a chapter from the Chao te Ching:

Chapter 28

The news anchor is a comedian
who delivers grim stand-up with a straight face.
Some reel back in terror.
Some are numb.
Some laugh through the horror.
This makes them poor victims.

To tell a bad joke
with a straight face
one must master seriousness.

To live in a bad joke
with a straight face
one must master humor.

The Discordian wears many masks.

The Good Reverend Roger

#58
September 24, 2009, 04:54:24 PM
Quote from: LMNO on September 24, 2009, 04:52:39 PM
I submit a chapter from the Chao te Ching:

Chapter 28

The news anchor is a comedian
who delivers grim stand-up with a straight face.
Some reel back in terror.
Some are numb.
Some laugh through the horror.
This makes them poor victims.

To tell a bad joke
with a straight face
one must master seriousness.

To live in a bad joke
with a straight face
one must master humor.

The Discordian wears many masks.


Oh, I like that.  Anchor men are ghouls by definition.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#59
September 30, 2009, 10:05:12 PM
Ok, today's the last day before we start voting.

Any final submissions?
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