Poetry nerds, please advise

[Rumckle]

I just read all the comments.  All comments within the past two days are critical.

Just a few questions for the author. Why did you give up on rhyming after two stanzas? Why did you give up on any attempt at meter at all after four? Why did you do this in this fashion? I suspect you knew what you were doing, so why didn't you take the time to fix it? Does 9-11 not mean enough to you that you would go to the trouble of creating something of coherence or beauty? Did the tragedy seem so trivial to you that you thought it fit to memorialize in this slapdash, careless style? This is ugly, and it makes the events of that day seem petty and maudlin, and is that really what you intended?

IF WE DONT WRITE GOOD POETRY THE TERRYRISTS WIN!!!1!

[fomenter]

i tried to post my Farsi version but wordpress gave me a 404 page when i tried to sign up

somebody want to post them for me ?  


i was thinking something like... "you are all being trolled, this poem is a slightly modified version of a poem written in Farsi that was taken off a captured terrorist taken prisoner in Afghanistan by American solders (post Farsi version ) this is the translation of the original into English (post English version) "

or if you can think of something funnier (or sells the story better) go for it...

[Brotep]

I wouldn't waste a whole sentence commenting on that thing, just one word:

Genericrap.  (Not to be confused with generic rap.)

[Jenne]

Why are you using Farsi?  I would think Arabic would be more to the point.  *shrug*

[fomenter]

the translation back and forth was funnier..

[Jenne]

You read Farsi?

I mean, I would think someone who can't read either would think both of them equally funny.  Same sort of translation is lost, so to speak, and Farsi seems irrelevant vis a vis 9/11.  Or, rather, LESS relevant, I suppose I should say.  It wasn't Afghans or Iranians who hijacked the planes, just saying.

[fomenter]

i just used a on line translator, the Arabic (which i tried first ) came back almost identical to the original English the Farsi came back scrambled enough to pass for being from a terrorist ..
if you can get a funnier Arabic version go for it...
i have turned the idea over to anyone who wants to run with it since i cant post to the site anyway...

[Jenne]

True...*shrug* 

[Iason Ouabache]

Yeah, it is teh Breitbart.  Fighting his one-man guerrilla insurgency against the evils of Liberal Hollywood, with only a website and buckets of cash from Christian fundamentalists.

I thought that that was Brent Bozell's gig. If I knew that the market was so wide open I would have applied for the job.