A list of obvious things.

[Ari]

Earlier today I assaulted myself.
It was nice and I might do it again.

[rong]

THIS THREAD IS NOW (AGAIN) ABOUT LISTS OF OBVIOUS THINGS

1) Don't put social experiments in people's forums to control their behaviour.

2) If you see someone post a new thread on their own, leave it alone!

3) If you're going to help someone to just fucking google it, don't tell them the "secret hidden web with all the cool stuff" is at http://www.google.on.nimp.org

4) NEVER click on a link uninvited.

5) If you are an elephant and someone else gets near you, DONT ASSAULT THEM!

6) Remember, people go to forums to hear people agree with them. Do not attempt to argue with someone who posts on a forum.

7) USE THE 50 POST SUGGESTION! If you are unable to stop yourself from trolling people, wait 50 posts and ask a friend to join in on the fun.

Always be honest with people. Don't pretend to be a pagan hippie in order to gain the trust of someone you want to troll. Consider telling them you simply think they are hilarious. If you do not communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign you take them seriously.

9) Don't forget! You can't troll a forum unless there's other people posting!

10) Carry a whistle! For fuck's sake, everybody loves whistles.

[Kai]

Being in the mood right now, I sorta want to punch the OP in the face for assuming everyone has this primal urge to assault who ever happens to be closest, like some sort of sociopathic tourettes. "Assault someone on accident"? "If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people"? Are we REALLY stuck in a pre-industrial idiocy where people (but I know you meant men, Terrorista) can't be faulted for just running up and raping and assaulting people in broad daylight because we're just MADE like that, like "Oh shit man, I'm getting the rape impulse on that girl overthere, quick BLOW THE WISTLE!" This sort of stupidity passes on stereotypes and actually ENABLES people to act like that, because "like man I just can't help assaulting people, it just happens and before you know it I'm raping some girl on the sidewalk" is the most stupid fucking excuse ever.

Also, this:

Always be honest with people! Don't pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don't communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

Is one of the most fucked up things I have ever heard. "Lets sit around and talk about how I want to assault and rape you!" Also: "You aren't planning on raping me so that makes you a caring friend!" 

Lets reword this:

Always be honest with people! Don't pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to have sex with. Consider telling them about your sexual inclinations. If you don't communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you are /not/ interested in having sex with them.

Better. In fact, I think this whole thing is a troll.

It was a quote from the site she linked to, actually, and she posted it to make fun of it.

My bad.

[La Terrorista]

Being in the mood right now, I sorta want to punch the OP in the face for assuming everyone has this primal urge to assault who ever happens to be closest, like some sort of sociopathic tourettes. "Assault someone on accident"? "If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people"? Are we REALLY stuck in a pre-industrial idiocy where people (but I know you meant men, Terrorista) can't be faulted for just running up and raping and assaulting people in broad daylight because we're just MADE like that, like "Oh shit man, I'm getting the rape impulse on that girl overthere, quick BLOW THE WISTLE!" This sort of stupidity passes on stereotypes and actually ENABLES people to act like that, because "like man I just can't help assaulting people, it just happens and before you know it I'm raping some girl on the sidewalk" is the most stupid fucking excuse ever.

Also, this:

Always be honest with people! Don't pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don't communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

Is one of the most fucked up things I have ever heard. "Lets sit around and talk about how I want to assault and rape you!" Also: "You aren't planning on raping me so that makes you a caring friend!" 

Lets reword this:

Always be honest with people! Don't pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to have sex with. Consider telling them about your sexual inclinations. If you don't communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you are /not/ interested in having sex with them.

Better. In fact, I think this whole thing is a troll.

It was a quote from the site she linked to, actually, and she posted it to make fun of it.

My bad.

No, it's really okay.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

My bad.

Eh, we've all done it.

On another note, I like this new one, I think this is a good new one. We have had several good new ones lately, and it is very pleasing.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

Earlier today I assaulted myself.
It was nice and I might do it again.