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a note to my favourite board of spiritual advisors

Started by Ari, October 07, 2009, 11:07:42 PM

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Ari

My 26th birthday starts with the moment I post this.
Coincidentally it's another chapter of my life coming to a close & a new one to begin. In a few days I will leave this apartment as well.
As I depart into the next world, let me report some of my findings and expose my own ignorance for the sake of learning some more from you spags. =)
Despite my best efforts this wall of text turned into a mush of different thoughts, please bear with me while I recap a fraction of what is up my mind...


This year, I finally found my self. And I found my home.
It's inside me. That one place, somewhat detached from the usual limits of time and space. The shit can reach up to the door, but can't ever come in. It's where I just am. Where I keep my love, my hate, my cheerfulness, my everything and nothing.
At times I just program myself onto a different plane of existence. Where things are weird and exciting. Where there's real fun, real love, it's the container I build for my self. To just be. It's working great already and there is still potential for improvement. Nature, true people, love.
Back when I left the big prison I ended up creating my own. So I left that and built this flexible thing for my mind instead which I can shape into whatever I want. Sometimes it still slips my grip, sometime I just let it slide for the sake of it. If I had better words for this I'd use them.


When I move out here I will leave behind the clutter I accumulated in the past years, all these things I called my own. It's just pieces of shit really. No more big fancy computer, no more furniture, no more bags of clothes, no more boxes of junk that noone really needs. This friday, lots of it will burn - with me standing next to the fire, grinning like the madman I am at times.

So I look at the world around me and I see that this country turned out to be just like the old one. The same filth, the same mind-numbing bullshit flickering in your face everywhere, the same types of monkeys babbling about the same meaningless things, sure it sounds a bit different but it's essentially the same. The same commercials, the same whores, the same grind, the same corruption, the same the same the same the same the same.
This whole thing stinks to the heavens if you ask me - and when I read your tales, I see the similarities in our worlds. See that it's the same the same the same the same the same everywhere.

I want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?


The insights and tools I found, which allow me to live the life I live, to be the person I am - this forum has certainly been a major influence and I want to express my heartfelt thanks. I could name a few people in no particular order, but I would forget some in the process so I just thank you all instead.

With love and cheerfulness. From one world to the next.

Or kill me.
~Planeswalker
パンクビッチ

LMNO

QuoteI want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?

You laugh. Laugh until you can't tell if you're screaming.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: LMNO on October 07, 2009, 11:22:44 PM
QuoteI want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?

You laugh. Laugh until you can't tell if you're screaming.

This. And continually, unendingly try to find the key to destroying the world so a new world can begin. Having that dream, at least, makes it more bearable.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Ari

Quote from: Nigel on October 07, 2009, 11:28:42 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 07, 2009, 11:22:44 PM
QuoteI want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?

You laugh. Laugh until you can't tell if you're screaming.

This. And continually, unendingly try to find the key to destroying the world so a new world can begin. Having that dream, at least, makes it more bearable.

I know that laugh. Know it way too well.
パンクビッチ

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: planeswalker on October 07, 2009, 11:31:23 PM
Quote from: Nigel on October 07, 2009, 11:28:42 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 07, 2009, 11:22:44 PM
QuoteI want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?

You laugh. Laugh until you can't tell if you're screaming.

This. And continually, unendingly try to find the key to destroying the world so a new world can begin. Having that dream, at least, makes it more bearable.

I know that laugh. Know it way too well.

There are pills, too.  They keep your face on.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Ari

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 07, 2009, 11:34:39 PM
Quote from: planeswalker on October 07, 2009, 11:31:23 PM
Quote from: Nigel on October 07, 2009, 11:28:42 PM
Quote from: LMNO on October 07, 2009, 11:22:44 PM
QuoteI want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?

You laugh. Laugh until you can't tell if you're screaming.

This. And continually, unendingly try to find the key to destroying the world so a new world can begin. Having that dream, at least, makes it more bearable.

I know that laugh. Know it way too well.

There are pills, too.  They keep your face on.

I've been considering to just give in, seeing that I still have no career and no money. The pills would finally make me be "fit for work" and I can be that trusty productive member of society that my mom so desperately wants me to be. It would also drown out all those thoughts of burning down this world of shit.
Can I have blue and green ones though? Those are my favorite colors.
パンクビッチ

rong

get a motorcycle.  ride it.  check your mirrors often, but don't look back.
"a real smart feller, he felt smart"

Eater of Clowns

It's easy.  The end of the world will probably come in our lifetimes.

And we'll have front row tickets.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Iason Ouabache

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 08, 2009, 12:31:32 AM
It's easy.  The end of the world will probably come in our lifetimes.

And we'll have front row tickets.
Yes, that's just what the Hebrews thought.
You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.
    \
┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

Eater of Clowns

#9
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on October 08, 2009, 12:54:40 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 08, 2009, 12:31:32 AM
It's easy.  The end of the world will probably come in our lifetimes.

And we'll have front row tickets.
Yes, that's just what the Hebrews thought.

:lol:
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: planeswalker on October 07, 2009, 11:52:18 PM
Can I have blue and green ones though? Those are my favorite colors.


I have pink and green, one to calm me down and one to make me pay attention.

I refuse to take them other than recreationally, though. I especially like combining them.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


AFK

Quote from: planeswalker on October 07, 2009, 11:07:42 PM
I want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?

Maybe it's different for me because I have a young daughter, but I guess that is where I derive my "hope".  Not in any sense that I think she or others like her can make any significant, ground-shifting change.  But, that if I do my job well as a father, at least I know there is that one more person who will live her life not for The Machine, but for herself.  To understand that she will have to, unavoidably, work within The System, but not have to be its unwitting and unquestioning pawn. 

That and surrounding myself with friends and family and just finding the paths of happiness, even if they are fleeting and sparse.  There is only so much we can do as individuals, or even as bands of individuals when there is a huge majority working against us.  But, we can at least make a pocket for ourselves where we can live life OUR way, as much as is possible.  We will still be subject to societal failings, but perhaps with breathing room that we make, it will be in distant and separated moments in time. 

Those armed with themselves stand the best chance of making it through with some semblence of sanity intact. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Ari

Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on October 08, 2009, 11:02:09 AM
Quote from: planeswalker on October 07, 2009, 11:07:42 PM
I want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?

Maybe it's different for me because I have a young daughter, but I guess that is where I derive my "hope".  Not in any sense that I think she or others like her can make any significant, ground-shifting change.  But, that if I do my job well as a father, at least I know there is that one more person who will live her life not for The Machine, but for herself.  To understand that she will have to, unavoidably, work within The System, but not have to be its unwitting and unquestioning pawn. 

That and surrounding myself with friends and family and just finding the paths of happiness, even if they are fleeting and sparse.  There is only so much we can do as individuals, or even as bands of individuals when there is a huge majority working against us.  But, we can at least make a pocket for ourselves where we can live life OUR way, as much as is possible.  We will still be subject to societal failings, but perhaps with breathing room that we make, it will be in distant and separated moments in time. 

Those armed with themselves stand the best chance of making it through with some semblence of sanity intact. 

Loved ones. Definitely.
Ever since she left , that place I call home became a solitary fortress again. She's the one, I know that much. It's a fundamental truth of my existance... and we still love each other very much - but at this time and space, it's impossible to make more from it than to just enjoy the few moments we can have. It's this love that always keeps me going despite everything else. And which lets me leave this world, and go into the next. For a while.
パンクビッチ

Dysfunctional Cunt

I have to go with RWHN here.

I see my kids and they see this world so much clearer than I ever did at their age.  They see the squalor and depravity every day.  It's a black and white world for them and it breaks my heart. 

Darth Cupcake

A)

Quote from: Iason Ouabache on October 08, 2009, 12:54:40 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 08, 2009, 12:31:32 AM
It's easy.  The end of the world will probably come in our lifetimes.

And we'll have front row tickets.
Yes, that's just what the Hebrews thought.

:lol: :lol: :lol: Beautiful! Thank you for that.

B)

Quote from: LMNO on October 07, 2009, 11:22:44 PM
QuoteI want to ask the board, how do you stand knowing the truth about this fucked up world?
How do you endure feeling the perverted nature of this artificial world we live in?

You laugh. Laugh until you can't tell if you're screaming.

As weird as it sounds, I really find that this is essentially it. Tritely put: glass half full, or half empty? The world is going to be a giant shit sandwich that you must continue to take bites of every day no matter what the crap you do. There is no way to not eat the shit sandwich. The only way to opt out is to die. And I guess for some people that works, but I'm not there yet. So you can keep whining about how this shit sandwich tastes fucking AWFUL and you're not hungry and you really prefer wheat bread and jesus, couldn't they have at least stuck it in the microwave for a couple seconds so it's not so cold and rubbery? I mean c'mon, we're eating shit sandwiches when OTHER people get a 7 course dinner; it's just not FAIR! Or you can laugh and douse the goddamn sandwich in fucking hot pepper and once you've chewed it up a bunch you can spit it at people who piss you off and stick out your tongue and gross people out, and then you can laugh even harder.

No matter what, you're eating a shit sandwich. Accept it and laugh at it, and then do what you can with it.
Be the trouble you want to see in the world.