US military seeking to recreate scenes from Sucker Punch in Afghanistan

[Cain]

Only jihadis will play the part of the sexy female lead shooting down a blimp

http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2011/03/army-wants-spy-blimps-to-psych-out-insurgents/

Blimps aren't exactly known for striking fear into the hearts of men. But the Army's betting they can still make insurgents in Afghanistan feel like they're living in a panopticon.

Lots of bases in Afghanistan have surveillance aerostats floating above them on a tether, thanks to a program called RAID. Cheaper and easier to operate than drones, the balloons have helped troops spot insurgents as they plant bombs, Lt. Gen. Michael Oates, the outgoing leader of the Pentagon's anti-bomb squad, told reporters this week. The fact that the blimps are tethered means their spy gear can only view a set area, but the Army sees them providing an even bigger psychological advantage.

In a pre-solicitation released Wednesday, the Army asks industry to prepare an "Aerostat Deception system," giving small units blimps that can "deceive insurgents with the appearance of enhanced capabilities." Insurgents see the aerostats floating above bases, the idea goes, and figure they're being watched wherever they are.

It's not like they'd be pure decoys, though. The aerostats the Army wants would still perform "surveillance at 1000 feet above ground level." But they'd also carry a decoy payload "simulating a surveillance system," making it look like the blimps are more powerful than they are.

Of course, the military might soon have super-powerful blimps, these ones untethered to any base, for use in Afghanistan. The "Blue Devil," seven times the size of the Goodyear Blimp, will carry a dozen sensors, all talking to each other through a supercomputer, and could be deployed by the fall. By 2012, Northop Grumman hopes to have its Long Endurance Multi-Intelligence Vehicle floating at 20,000 feet above Afghanistan. That's a blimp the size of a football field.

These are far more modest, a mere 15 feet in diameter. But you put enough of them in the air, visible to insurgents, and maybe the Taliban will feel like Rockwell in that '80s video.

[Juana]

[Disco Pickle]

fuck blimps, I say go with Zepllins.  This one gets my vote.



the hammer and sickle should bring back some memories too

[Jenne]

I'm telling you, with the fear Afghans have of domesitcated animals, the US Army should rather release a passel of kittens, puppies (the yappier the better) and ferrets into jihadists' mud huts and watch them FLEE and GIVE UP.

I have yet to meet ONE Afghan outside my husband who didn't come to the US hating and fearing and loathing cats, dogs and any small animal that lives within the house.  The men squeal and jump like 6 year old girls at a Justin Bieber concert when a dog licks their hand or when a cat strops their shin...

[Cain]

I think that may be because after 30 years they're not used to things which don't actively try to kill them.

[Jenne]

  Well, that may be the case.  THEY CLAIM their squeamishness (and outright FEAR) is caused by the fact that dogs and cats are OUTSIDE animals in Afghanistan, and therefore UNCLEAN. 

There's really no excuse for it though.  My husband's cousin came from Canada and spent a large part of her week with us hiding out in her room from my 6 lb yorkipoo puppy.  I mean, seriously.  We have a YouTube up of her screaming and jumping up on our kitchen counter to get away from this beast that's even now curled against my side as I type this. 

It would make the jihadists easy pickin's if they just sent in an army of little dogs and cats.  Ferrets, rats and guinea pigs would probably work just as well.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Eventually, I expect to see them make armored zombies out of our casualties.   

[Don Coyote]

Eventually, I expect to see them make armored zombies out of our casualties.   

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Eventually, I expect to see them make armored zombies out of our casualties.   

You'll wear that mask and LIKE IT, soldier!