Hey Nigel, about that...

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Suu, enjoy your body before it goes all wonky on you.  I am missing some bits, and I have other bits I wasn't originally equiped with.  Some of these bits flop around, and some give off noxious gasses and make noises at inappropriate times.  For the moment I am continent, but that will one day fade.  I'm kind of looking forward to it.

Most importantly, have a lot of sex before everything gets all sloppy.  It will make you appreciate disgusting sloppy old people sex even more, when that day comes.  And come it will, in the blink of an eye.  Especially if you spend all of your youth wishing you were even younger, or prematurely aging yourself through abuse.

I will be 41 years old on Saturday, and let me tell you, God has played some truly evil tricks on me, just as he will have his wicked way with you.  Enjoy it while you got it, because you can never get it back. 

Oh my god, you were born on Halloween!

That makes so so much sense.

Yes, and it's the best birthday EVER, when you're 8 years old.

Well, I'm having a huge goddamn party on Saturday, and I'm telling everybody it's for your birthday.

[Suu]

For some reason when I typed that last night, I don't think it came out the way I wanted it too. Plus I was drunk so...

Yeah. My knees already feel like broken glass.  I find this funny, because I remember when my mom was my age her knees always creaked and cracked, and she would go, "Oof, I'm getting old."

So I would be, "But mommy, you're not that old! Teehee!"

She wasn't. And you're not, now. And I'm fuck of not, or at least I'm in denial about it.

So far the only evidence there is that I'm getting old is a streak of white hair in front, and soooo many stretch marks. Mostly the white hair, since I got the stretch marks years ago, from the things that gave me the white hair.

Lol, I've been going gray since I was 16.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

For some reason when I typed that last night, I don't think it came out the way I wanted it too. Plus I was drunk so...

Yeah. My knees already feel like broken glass.  I find this funny, because I remember when my mom was my age her knees always creaked and cracked, and she would go, "Oof, I'm getting old."

So I would be, "But mommy, you're not that old! Teehee!"

She wasn't. And you're not, now. And I'm fuck of not, or at least I'm in denial about it.

So far the only evidence there is that I'm getting old is a streak of white hair in front, and soooo many stretch marks. Mostly the white hair, since I got the stretch marks years ago, from the things that gave me the white hair.

Lol, I've been going gray since I was 16.

Check to see if you can still do a ten-mile hike. If yes, you're fine.

[Suu]

For some reason when I typed that last night, I don't think it came out the way I wanted it too. Plus I was drunk so...

Yeah. My knees already feel like broken glass.  I find this funny, because I remember when my mom was my age her knees always creaked and cracked, and she would go, "Oof, I'm getting old."

So I would be, "But mommy, you're not that old! Teehee!"

She wasn't. And you're not, now. And I'm fuck of not, or at least I'm in denial about it.

So far the only evidence there is that I'm getting old is a streak of white hair in front, and soooo many stretch marks. Mostly the white hair, since I got the stretch marks years ago, from the things that gave me the white hair.

Lol, I've been going gray since I was 16.

Check to see if you can still do a ten-mile hike. If yes, you're fine.

I probably could do it, how I would feel afterward on the other hand is a different story.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

For some reason when I typed that last night, I don't think it came out the way I wanted it too. Plus I was drunk so...

Yeah. My knees already feel like broken glass.  I find this funny, because I remember when my mom was my age her knees always creaked and cracked, and she would go, "Oof, I'm getting old."

So I would be, "But mommy, you're not that old! Teehee!"

She wasn't. And you're not, now. And I'm fuck of not, or at least I'm in denial about it.

So far the only evidence there is that I'm getting old is a streak of white hair in front, and soooo many stretch marks. Mostly the white hair, since I got the stretch marks years ago, from the things that gave me the white hair.

Lol, I've been going gray since I was 16.

Check to see if you can still do a ten-mile hike. If yes, you're fine.

I probably could do it, how I would feel afterward on the other hand is a different story.

Time to get packin'! As my dad always says, death gets you from the feet up.

[Iason Ouabache]

Lol, I've been going gray since I was 16.

I've been going bald since I was 16. 

And you know that you are officially an adult when you realize that everyone else is as full of shit as you are.

[BabylonHoruv]

I am an adult.  I know this because I was given an initiation ceremony when I was a teenager.  Was it a "real" initiation ceremony?  No, I wasn't given more responsibilities, but I was listened to more.  At that point however I knew I was an adult.

As a young adult I did many incredibly foolish things.  Now I am middle aged (I defined it, as a child, middle age starts at 30 and ends at 60, after that, you are old.  Maybe not you, but me) There were things I hadn't expected about middle age.  You don't have to stop being weird, you just understand it better.  I don't do stupid things, or if i do they are stupid at a level I really could not have reached when i was younger.  I think I look sexier now than i ever did.  Sure, I put on some weight, I'm not chiseled and my glasses are so thick you could fry ants with them at 100 paces.  I have the geek look down to an art, and that's what turns me on.

I will be 32 in a few weeks (they ended world war one because they knew I was coming) and I am looking forward to the journey through middle age.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Drinking is bad for you.  You should live clean, like I do.  I take only prescribed Gooddrugs™ and sundry religious substances, and look at the shape I'm in.

Fuck that noise! I don't want them to bury a pristine corpse. I want them to look at my remains and think "Jesus H Fuck! He should have been dead 20 years ago. Sorry Mr Organ donor rep but my internal stuff would be no use to you cos I've run that shit into the ground! There's nothing left but some kinda of foul soup that smells vaguely like diesel. If my joints last me another 10 years it'll be goddamn miracle - I fully expect to be in a wheelchair within the decade and I'll have earned that fucker. The best things in life are not free - they cost blood, sweat and broken bones. Some of them fuck up your liver too. I have no wish to be eighty years old cos I never drunk, screwed or jumped off a bridge just for the sheer hell of it. I'd rather settle for sixty but have some serious fun getting there.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Drinking is bad for you.  You should live clean, like I do.  I take only prescribed Gooddrugs™ and sundry religious substances, and look at the shape I'm in.

Fuck that noise! I don't want them to bury a pristine corpse. I want them to look at my remains and think "Jesus H Fuck! He should have been dead 20 years ago. Sorry Mr Organ donor rep but my internal stuff would be no use to you cos I've run that shit into the ground! There's nothing left but some kinda of foul soup that smells vaguely like diesel. If my joints last me another 10 years it'll be goddamn miracle - I fully expect to be in a wheelchair within the decade and I'll have earned that fucker. The best things in life are not free - they cost blood, sweat and broken bones. Some of them fuck up your liver too. I have no wish to be eighty years old cos I never drunk, screwed or jumped off a bridge just for the sheer hell of it. I'd rather settle for sixty but have some serious fun getting there.

We need an irony emote, I am thinking.

[Dysnomia]

I'll probably have to have a hip replacement in about 20 or 30 years thanks to the now-retired hrosie bucking me off pretty hard last year.     Every joint in my body has been creaking and popping since I was 8.   


Suu you aren't old!  I like Nigel's idea of going for a hike.  Even if it isn't for 10 miles, it's nice to get out every so often. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Drinking is bad for you.  You should live clean, like I do.  I take only prescribed Gooddrugs™ and sundry religious substances, and look at the shape I'm in.

Fuck that noise! I don't want them to bury a pristine corpse. I want them to look at my remains and think "Jesus H Fuck! He should have been dead 20 years ago. Sorry Mr Organ donor rep but my internal stuff would be no use to you cos I've run that shit into the ground! There's nothing left but some kinda of foul soup that smells vaguely like diesel. If my joints last me another 10 years it'll be goddamn miracle - I fully expect to be in a wheelchair within the decade and I'll have earned that fucker. The best things in life are not free - they cost blood, sweat and broken bones. Some of them fuck up your liver too. I have no wish to be eighty years old cos I never drunk, screwed or jumped off a bridge just for the sheer hell of it. I'd rather settle for sixty but have some serious fun getting there.

Have you heard of this thing called "A Happy Medium"? It's rad... it's where you get to have a fuckload of fun,  but take care of your body at the same time and don't do too many things that are stupid, so that you can actually continue having a fuckload of fun for LONGER. It's a pretty awesome concept.

Everyone I know who set out to live hard and die young didn't actually die young, instead they got prematurely old and achy and decrepit and have to live another twenty or thirty years of being miserable and fucked up while I continue to have a fuckload of fun with my relatively well-cared-for body for probably a good forty to fifty years more. And I'll be sipping bourbon out of a flask at their funerals, right before I go bone some hot elderly who took care of himself and is good for another few rounds.