So, Squid, I finally dealt with that fucking engineer.

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I had entirely enough of his shit, and I opened my mouth and let him see the real Roger for a moment or two...In the process violating 4 articles of the corporate code of conduct, and 3 state laws.  He's kind of freaked out, and he already ran to the boss.  Of course I denied everything, but my boss doesn't believe me.  Fortunately, without some form of evidence, it's he said-she said.

Why must they step, Squid?  Why can't they just do their fucking job, and leave me alone?  Why does everyone want to play maintenance supervisor?  Why can't I kill them just by wanting it badly enough?

On the down side, I am ruined for the day; I will get nothing else done.  On the plus side, Mike thinks I'm Hannibal Lecter, and won't come out of his office.  With any luck at all, I've triggered his loose bowel problem, and he'll have to go home to change.  For a week.

I probably shouldn't do that again any time soon, though.  Not sure I'm going to have to.

Please tell me more about the engineer.

He looks like Wally from Dilbert.  He drives the world's largest compensation-mobile pickup truck.  He has a nasal voice and laughs at his own "jokes", often for a minute straight.  He is convinced that people without engineering degrees are useless eaters and grunt labor, that a skilled millwright with 30 years of experience cannot tie his own shoes without a "procedure".  He does not know how to use a multimeter.  Let me say that again.  He is an engineer that does not know how to use a multimeter.

As someone currently enrolled as an engineering undergrad, 

[Requia ☣]

Wait... correct me if I'm wrong but a multimeter is the little electronic gizmo that figures out voltage and resistance and stuff right?  The one that takes 15 minutes and no instruction manual to learn?

How the fuck did this guy make it through college?

How did he get his PE?

Might not have one.  Chemical Engineers aren't always required to get it, thanks to falling under interstate commerce for some reason.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Wait... correct me if I'm wrong but a multimeter is the little electronic gizmo that figures out voltage and resistance and stuff right?  The one that takes 15 minutes and no instruction manual to learn?

How the fuck did this guy make it through college?

How did he get his PE?

Might not have one.  Chemical Engineers aren't always required to get it, thanks to falling under interstate commerce for some reason.

Oh, he has one.  It's on his annoying brag wall (he is the only person who has a brag wall, of course).  I checked, it's legit.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Wait... correct me if I'm wrong but a multimeter is the little electronic gizmo that figures out voltage and resistance and stuff right?  The one that takes 15 minutes and no instruction manual to learn?

How the fuck did this guy make it through college?

How did he get his PE?

Might not have one.  Chemical Engineers aren't always required to get it, thanks to falling under interstate commerce for some reason.

Oh, he has one.  It's on his annoying brag wall (he is the only person who has a brag wall, of course).  I checked, it's legit.

How much fun can you have convincing him they are re-calling a certain number of certificates because of a testing error or some such?

[Jean-Lustine d'Hadamard]

He does not know how to use a multimeter.  Let me say that again.  He is an engineer that does not know how to use a multimeter.

As someone currently enrolled as an engineering undergrad, 

I've met physics undrgrads who couldn't wire a fucking plug, much less use a multimeter. Not being able to solder, I could just about forgive. Just.