Gnomes invade north and south america

[Elder Iptuous]

My old room mate was a missionary's kid and they did a stint over in the Philippines.  he related a good number of strange things he saw over there.  one was that there would be traveling shows that would show off oddities.  several times he said that the primary exhibition would be "elves".  they were people that had the proportions of adults but were about 2-3 feet tall.  he said they would just stand there (no elf acrobatics.  they obviously were not 'in on the trick', they were captured)  the showman would then pull their pants down to show that they were fully matured adults.  He said that the understanding was that these 'elves' lived in some of the forests over there.
I guess if i were a 2 ft tall dude, i would try to hide rather than be captured for a show, too....

[Elder Iptuous]

They can be pretty creepy at times...

[BadBeast]

They can be pretty creepy at times...

They certainly can. I found this fucker in my kitchen.

Said he wanted to go fishing in my pond. I almost said "If you're going to go fishing, where's your rod?" But restrained myself, instead, I just set the Unicorn on him.

[Jenne]

That oldster has quite a fine body.  Remove the head and he could be in his 30's.

[BadBeast]

That oldster has quite a fine body.  Remove the head and he could be in his 30's.

Gnomes age differently to Humans. Apparently he is 467 years old, which is quite young among his people. But he's still useless at fishing. As Gnomes are Earth Elementals, the Undines ensure any enterprise they embark on involving Water, is doomed to fail. Doesn't stop the tenacious little buggers from trying though.

[Jenne]

My cousin collected them...and now people are stealing them from her front yard.  CRAZY!

[BadBeast]

My cousin collected them...and now people are stealing them from her front yard.  CRAZY!

We had a spate of Gnome "Thefts" in the town I used to live in. Then the postcards started coming in. There would be a picture of their Gnome, stood outside the Taj Mahal, or the Kremlin, or some other exotic place, and a message saying they were enjoying their holiday. But could they please send some money for the fare home. Of course, no money was sent, but a few weeks later, there would be another card from Peru, with a picture of the Gnome at Machu Picchu saying they were taking the long way home, and may be delayed a while. The person whose Gnome it was sent the cards to the local paper, who were always struggling to find something newsworthy to print. About four years later, they looked out the window, and the Gnome was sat on his rock, by the pond, as if he'd never been away. So it might not be thefts, they might just be off on their travels.

[Disco Pickle]

no bullshit: my landlord who lives downstairs has socks laid out under the house basement area for the gnomes.  I have some pictures of the socks somewhere on my home computer.  get a few drinks in him and he'll tell you all about them.

It's sooo hard to keep a straight face.

I've been thinking it would be a great idea to replace them with underwear.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

When I was in high school, we once saved a large number of gnomes from their garden prisons around the area and circled the courthouse with them.  We gave them all signs with all kinds of demands.  Equal rights for gnomes.  Gnomes are people too...  etc..

While we thought it was hilarious, the police did not find it as amusing