My Poor Brain.

[Roaring Biscuit!]

It can be quite surprising, when someone you thought you had a real strong connection to turns around and says, "I feel like I hardly know you."

"Why?"

"I never know how you feel, its practically impossible to get any personal information out of you because you're so good at dodging questions, it's like I'm talking to wall... made of steel."

"Sorry."

"It's not really bad,  its just...  I know there's something going on underneath..."

"Okay."

Inside its not so different.

There's a little man talking to a giant machine, a giant machine all encased in steel.  Who knows what's going on inside the machine, who knows what it keeps in there, who knows hows it works?  All I know is what it makes.

The little man talks a lot, but he talks in straight lines, follows thoughts around like a child following a paper trail, but he pretends to have all the answers, long before he's got to the end.

He talks all the time that he's searching, and the machine listens, silently, sometimes it whirrs, then it goes back to sleep.  Sometimes the man says mumbles, and the machine sparks into like, there are crashes and bangs from within, there is the grinding of metal on metal.  A conveyor belt brings out something new for the man to consider.

The man bitches about the world.  The machine makes puppies.

The machine does not think in straight lines.

Sometimes the machine makes a Bad Thing^tm.  Sometimes the man mumbles and the machine reminds him of things from a long time ago.  Things forgotten.  Things that had been Dealt With.

And the man screams at the machine.  He shouts at the top of his lungs, demanding to know why the machine has made this memento, searching desperately for any reason at all, longing to know what is in the machine.

But I don't want to know what's in the machine, not really, it makes Bad Things^tm, and a machine must have an input and an output.  So if the output is a Bad Thing^tm...  well...  I could crack it open, but it could be a maze of nightmares in there.  I don't want to smash open the Brain Tumor Fund just yet...  I don't think I'm ready.

x

edd,
totally not ever depressed about anything.

[LMNO]

Introspection can be ugly.



LMNO
-often likes ugly things.

[Brotep]

Good point, Biscuit.

Introspection can be ugly.



LMNO
-often likes ugly things.

Yes...But one can step back from the ugly things and see how in the larger context they are beautiful.

[Elder Iptuous]

Good point, Biscuit.

Introspection can be ugly.



LMNO
-often likes ugly things.

Yes...But one can step back from the ugly things and see how in the larger context they are beautiful.

True....
once you are in a position comfortable enough to do so...
I can appreciate all the horrors of our world and see their inherent value from the view of my middle class american sandcastle's picture window, but i also recognize that i might lose sight of that if they invade my life and begin to eat me alive.

[Roaring Biscuit!]

LMNO
-often likes ugly things.

so do I, normally, but I think what I'm really worried about is this nagging feeling that I actually don't deal with the things that are bothering me, I just kind of ignore them until the float on past.  Which is why I have a giant steel machine in my head producing weird shit.

x

[The Johnny]

Make a drunken daily journal, i promise it will get you somewhere.

JohNyx,
knows from experience

[LMNO]

LMNO
-often likes ugly things.

so do I, normally, but I think what I'm really worried about is this nagging feeling that I actually don't deal with the things that are bothering me, I just kind of ignore them until the float on past.  Which is why I have a giant steel machine in my head producing weird shit.

x

interestingly enough, the 8C model applies here, too.


You are not alone.

[Brotep]

LMNO, please to explain.

Good point, Biscuit.

Introspection can be ugly.



LMNO
-often likes ugly things.

Yes...But one can step back from the ugly things and see how in the larger context they are beautiful.

True....
once you are in a position comfortable enough to do so...
I can appreciate all the horrors of our world and see their inherent value from the view of my middle class american sandcastle's picture window, but i also recognize that i might lose sight of that if they invade my life and begin to eat me alive.

I just meant the ugliness within oneself.  I guess your point stands, but...Sometimes it is that step back that provides comfort.

To speak of a divine plan, or life as illusion, is a slap in the face to human suffering.  One can hardly presume to call the horrors of the world beautiful.  The world is not art, it is spilled milk--and you can never wipe it all up with the paper towel of understanding, no matter how many passes you make.

How we respond to the chaos of the world, that is art.  And that is where I look for beauty.

[Roaring Biscuit!]

How we respond to the chaos of the world, that is art.  And that is where I look for beauty.

Also, I'm completely unfamiliar with the 8C model, though its probably something worth looking up?

x

[LMNO]

LMNO, please to explain.

Good point, Biscuit.

Introspection can be ugly.



LMNO
-often likes ugly things.

Yes...But one can step back from the ugly things and see how in the larger context they are beautiful.

True....
once you are in a position comfortable enough to do so...
I can appreciate all the horrors of our world and see their inherent value from the view of my middle class american sandcastle's picture window, but i also recognize that i might lose sight of that if they invade my life and begin to eat me alive.

I just meant the ugliness within oneself.  I guess your point stands, but...Sometimes it is that step back that provides comfort.

To speak of a divine plan, or life as illusion, is a slap in the face to human suffering.  One can hardly presume to call the horrors of the world beautiful.  The world is not art, it is spilled milk--and you can never wipe it all up with the paper towel of understanding, no matter how many passes you make.

How we respond to the chaos of the world, that is art.  And that is where I look for beauty.

Did you mean "Iptuous, please explain"?

[Elder Iptuous]

LMNO, please to explain.

Good point, Biscuit.

Introspection can be ugly.



LMNO
-often likes ugly things.

Yes...But one can step back from the ugly things and see how in the larger context they are beautiful.

True....
once you are in a position comfortable enough to do so...
I can appreciate all the horrors of our world and see their inherent value from the view of my middle class american sandcastle's picture window, but i also recognize that i might lose sight of that if they invade my life and begin to eat me alive.

I just meant the ugliness within oneself.  I guess your point stands, but...Sometimes it is that step back that provides comfort.

To speak of a divine plan, or life as illusion, is a slap in the face to human suffering.  One can hardly presume to call the horrors of the world beautiful.  The world is not art, it is spilled milk--and you can never wipe it all up with the paper towel of understanding, no matter how many passes you make.

How we respond to the chaos of the world, that is art.  And that is where I look for beauty.

Did you mean "Iptuous, please explain"?

Nothing deep.
simply that the horrors of the world do have a beauty of their own sort.  well, beauty is not a proper description, but fascination, interest, empathy.... an attraction and revulsion at the same time.
like the groteques of literature and art they have an inherent value.
I'm just saying that it is true that 'one can step back from the ugly things and see how in the larger context they are beautiful', but that  'stepping back' implies extricating yourself from the horrors, (or simply not being in them to begin with) and acknowledging that most people suffering from the most grievous of sufferings are not able to do so....

[Brotep]

mean "Iptuous, please explain"?

I meant, "LMNO, how does the 8-circuit model apply here?"

[LMNO]

mean "Iptuous, please explain"?

I meant, "LMNO, how does the 8-circuit model apply here?"

But I didn't mention that here.  Are you requesting I filter the OP through the 8C model?

[Roaring Biscuit!]

don't know  if he is but I am,

i looked up 8C model but i still don't think I get it, so seeing it applied might be helpful

x

[LMNO]

Well, I'm no expert at this model or anything, but it appears you may have some problems with accepting your emotions... which would translate to the Second Circuit metaphor.  If I understand your allegory about the man and the machine, there seems to be a few compounded issues here.  One, what you may be feeling is not synching up to what you think you should be feeling (or want to feel); two, you don't want to engage in the things you feel, leaving them unexpressed and unrealized, which turns them into an emotional absence; and three, the combination of the first two have caused you to obsess over it, which over-emphasizes the ultimate importance and seriousness of the emotions.

So... If you want advice, this is what I would say:

Emotions (in this model*) are actions more than they are thoughts.  Their purpose are expression and release.  They seem irrational because they are irrational.  Emotions are not meant to be figured out.  They are meant to be felt, expressed, and processed.

This means it's not a good idea to try to rationalize why you should or shouldn't feel a certain way.  Just let it happen.  Not that you should let it control you, by any means.  That's a whole different trap.  Just allow yourself to feel the emotion.  Once accepted, you can then start thinking about what makes you feel that way.  Don't judge the feeling-- after all, it's merely a verb.  There's very little thought behind it.  All you have to do is let the feeling come, and then let it go.  That's the role emotions play here.  You can figure out the reasons you're feeling this way later.  At that moment, don't try to hold them back, don't be afraid to feel them, but also let them go.  You don't want to go from repressing and dreading your emotions to being controlled by their expression.  You're not supposed to hang on to them longer than they need to be there.  Emotions are always in flux, and the flash of anger isn't supposed to be an inferno; likewise, the passing melancholy doesn't need to be an anchor of depression.  While emotions are important, they have very little to do with communication.  If you're sad, all your emotion communicates is "I'M SAD. I'M SAD. I'M SAD. I'M SAD. I'M SAD."  You need to be able to let go, to be able to feel the emotion, and then think about it.  If you don't let go, you won't be able to think.


tl;dr-- Emotions are irrational expressions: Don't be afraid of expressing them, don't read too much meaning into them, and don't hang on to them longer than you need to.




Of course, no circuit acts on its own.  All the circuits are interacting with each other, in ways that I could describe for pages and pages.  But from what you originally posted, the above seems like a solid answer.





















*IN THIS MODEL.  Repeat that phrase for everything I am about to say.