Renamed: GOD. DAMN. IT.

[Freeky]

Nigel, do you want some apple pie for christmas?

I am off pie, but thank you! I would gladly accept anything else.

I'll figure something out.


Something


TASTY!

[LMNO]

You know, 50/50 is kind of bullshit.  If he earns more, then "half" is less of a burden on him than it is on you.

Just as an example, let's say it costs $1000 a month to raise your kid.  Keep in mind I just pulled that number out of the air because it's a round number.

Anyway, let's also say that you make (through whatever means) $500 a month, and he makes $2000.

If you were to split the cost of raising your kid "50/50", he'd be spending 25% of his income, but you'd be spending 100%!  That's not fair.  The burden on you is much, much greater.

What would be fair would be to spend an equal percentage of income.  That way, each of your burdens are the same.

In this instance, if you both spent 40% of your income, he'd be paying $800, and you'd be paying $200.  That would be fair.


But that's probably too much math for him.

[Jenne]

Alphapance is driving the right motocyclette here, Freeky.  The bastard ex has NO concept of what the courts will ask him to do, and if he does, he's faking it hard to keep you under his thum and scared.  Please, please don't give in to him!  He's a user and abuser, outright.

I really hope you can get the paperwork in to get your schooling started soon.  I know you can do this--just keep plugging away and turn a deaf ear to your parents and the asshole who fathered your kid.

[Freeky]

LMNO: That's a good point that I never thought of...

Jenne: Yeah, I was hoping to do school without getting loans, but I think I'll end up having to. :/

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Honestly, what the courts do with the child support guidelines worksheet is take the sum of both of your incomes and then determine a fair amount from that.
You can look it us through sites like http://www.supreme.state.az.us/childsup/  and stuff.

And Nigel is absolutely right on 2 things:
1) he's full of shit with this "you have so much potential you're not living up to" crap. that's his way of saying "I'm gonna say something positive/encouraging at you to make you feel a little better so I can weasel my way out of having to give you child support". it's a fucking cop out maneuver and bullshit. obviously, you know what you're capable of. he's a turd.

2) working full time+going to school full time+full time parenting= YUO WILL CRAZY
something will suffer. often it's either grades (which will make you lose your funding) or the child. which is worse. often people have said to me "why don't you go back to school"? and my reply is usually "so if i see my family all of three hours a day as it is(if i'm lucky), i'll see them when if i go to school? never? sounds great."

sure, people do it all the time. there are people i work with who have kids and go to school. their kids are usually in the principal's office once a month, but whatever.

[Freeky]

Honestly, what the courts do with the child support guidelines worksheet is take the sum of both of your incomes and then determine a fair amount from that.
You can look it us through sites like http://www.supreme.state.az.us/childsup/  and stuff.

And Nigel is absolutely right on 2 things:
1) he's full of shit with this "you have so much potential you're not living up to" crap. that's his way of saying "I'm gonna say something positive/encouraging at you to make you feel a little better so I can weasel my way out of having to give you child support". it's a fucking cop out maneuver and bullshit. obviously, you know what you're capable of. he's a turd.

2) working full time+going to school full time+full time parenting= YUO WILL CRAZY
something will suffer. often it's either grades (which will make you lose your funding) or the child. which is worse. often people have said to me "why don't you go back to school"? and my reply is usually "so if i see my family all of three hours a day as it is(if i'm lucky), i'll see them when if i go to school? never? sounds great."

sure, people do it all the time. there are people i work with who have kids and go to school. their kids are usually in the principal's office once a month, but whatever.

I totally get all of that. But people around me don't seem to. It's like Tucson is putting stupid pills in the water (which would explain why it tastes so bad out of the tap), except that a few people are immune. 

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Well here ya go then
If you get it, but others don't then obviously you are smarter than they are and should play off of their--is this poop on my finger? Nope, chocolate. I digress. Use this to your advantage and WIN WIN WIN.

[Freeky]

Well here ya go then
If you get it, but others don't then obviously you are smarter than they are and should play off of their--is this poop on my finger? Nope, chocolate. I digress. Use this to your advantage and WIN WIN WIN.

Yes ma'am! -salute-

[Freeky]

Oh yeah, and he's getting us both new phones. Nice of him.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

[Jenne]

Play close attention, Freeky.  Squid's got the tail of it and is showing it who's boss.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Man, I've been down every road when it comes to abusive men, divorce and child custody.
Don git me stahted.

It's all a fucking game, and the way to win is to out wit them.
And it's unbelievably, remarkably, surprisingly EASY.

Also, learning to live a very self sufficient, self reliant, independent lifestyle will help.
When you no longer need anyone but yourself, you've won.

Do I need to show you "the wheel of abuse"? So you can get a better grasp on what these people are doing? After all, education is key. AND it's an easy way to beat them at their own game if you know what their next move is going to be before they do it.
A GAME. An easy one to win. They're very predictable and do the same shit over and over and over. You'll notice a pattern.
Also- emotional or verbal abuse is still abuse. Even when it sounds like they're being nice.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Man, I've been down every road when it comes to abusive men, divorce and child custody.
Don git me stahted.

It's all a fucking game, and the way to win is to out wit them.
And it's unbelievably, remarkably, surprisingly EASY.

Also, learning to live a very self sufficient, self reliant, independent lifestyle will help.
When you no longer need anyone but yourself, you've won.

Do I need to show you "the wheel of abuse"? So you can get a better grasp on what these people are doing? After all, education is key. AND it's an easy way to beat them at their own game if you know what their next move is going to be before they do it.
A GAME. An easy one to win. They're very predictable and do the same shit over and over and over. You'll notice a pattern.
Also- emotional or verbal abuse is still abuse. Even when it sounds like they're being nice.

THIS!!

Some people are broken and there isn't enough "change" in the universe for them to be decent human beings!

[Freeky]

So keeping child support on the down-low from the ex is not going to work. We have to make up a custody agreement. And sign it. Both of us. And there's a class we may have to take. I was hoping to avoid confrontation, but I guess that isn't going to work. :/

[Jasper]

This is the wheel of abuse, only licensed for use on abusive husbands: