ATTN PD.COM: I'm losing it

[Nast]

It may be a bizarre comfort, but as a human being, you are capable of inflicting far greater terror and horror than these pissy apparitions can. Doesn't that just cheer you up? 
Maybe you could try threatening that if they don't behave themselves in your home or GTFO, then you'll kick their ectoplasmic asses to the curb. After all, smoke, weird moaning in the middle of the night, property damage:
they sound like unruly college roommates.

But more seriously, I'm sorry that all of these happenings are causing so much disturbance and grief among you and your housemates. I wish I had some practical solution, but as you know, this isn't by any means a common or mundane problem. 

[Nast]

quickly added to by weird black mists in the hallways if the light was dim.

We've had sharp temperature increases (roughly 73->80) in the vicinity of the "hauntings", which goes against my normal understanding of ghosts.

Smoke, screams, and temperature increases. Not that I buy into any of this and you are probably crazy but has there ever been a fire in that place?

That's an unnerving thought. Many of the weird smells I mentioned are of burning substances. Food, electrical-fire smell, birthday candle smell. I'll have to ask.

Do, humor me please. Try googling your place with fire for news results too.

Yes, research is a good idea. If this were a horror movie, now would be the point at which you and the attractive supporting character go down to the local library and find that the house's foundation is made of ground up Indian bones or somesuch.

[Cait M. R.]

Kai will be my attractive supporting character.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The stripper companion i've been dating since july does work with the East Tennesseean Paranormal investigation society. She's a twin, and is much more in tune to extra-planar activity and such.

You know, there are so many ways to have fun with the above post that I have gone into reset mode and cannot proceed.

It triggered my Somebody Else's Problem reflex.

[East Coast Hustle]

I forwarded this to the lady friend.

I'll let you know her take on the matter.

East Tennessee Ghost-hunting Twin Strippers to the rescue!

[Elder Iptuous]

I forwarded this to the lady friend.

I'll let you know her take on the matter.

East Tennessee Ghost-hunting Twin Strippers to the rescue!

This movie is fucking writing itself, no!?

[Lies]

I forwarded this to the lady friend.

I'll let you know her take on the matter.

East Tennessee Ghost-hunting Twin Strippers to the rescue!

This makes me wonder if there's a porno version of ghost busters, and if so, where.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I forwarded this to the lady friend.

I'll let you know her take on the matter.

East Tennessee Ghost-hunting Twin Strippers to the rescue!

You damn near finally killed me.

TGRR,
Just choked on a tuna fish sammich.

[Da6s]

I say get the fuck out of dodge.  You clearly don't respect this girl very much, save her the trouble of having to learn that later on.

FUCK THAT SHIT.

Dude, go fucking nuts.  Burrow into this bizarre bullshit, and see just how far the fucking weirdness will go.

You'll never forgive yourself if you don't.

Still working on it 

[P3nT4gR4m]

So I never believed in ghosts until we moved into this house. We had ghosts, in a big bad creepy way. I noticed they always do the same thing in the same places, like they're just a recording of someone who used to live here. I don't think they're really interactive, or that they can do anything to you.

Then we remodeled, and they mostly stopped. Go figure!

Maybe a renovation is in order?

I agree with you Nigel, I've seen two "ghosts" (one of them on a few different occasions) and I have come to the conclusion that they are a genuine phenomena, but that they are not the remainders of people who have died.

I think they are exactly what you stated, recordings.  Perhaps the materials around the phenomena have something to do with the 'playback' feature?

Well, that blows.  I wanted to hang around for a couple of centuries, fucking with my descendents.

But if they're playbacks, I wonder if there's a way to fuck with them, WOMP style?

Best I can come up with is make a point of masturbating, at the same time every night, in the same spot in the house. Ideally somewhere and sometime where masturbation doesn't ought to happen - living room at 7:30pm, right in front of the teevee or kitchen at breakfast time, on the table. Make sure to moan as loudly as possible for eerie sound fx purposes. Also don't masturbate any other time so there will be as much "ectoplasm" as possible.

[Vaudeville Vigilante]

So I never believed in ghosts until we moved into this house. We had ghosts, in a big bad creepy way. I noticed they always do the same thing in the same places, like they're just a recording of someone who used to live here. I don't think they're really interactive, or that they can do anything to you.

Then we remodeled, and they mostly stopped. Go figure!

Maybe a renovation is in order?

I agree with you Nigel, I've seen two "ghosts" (one of them on a few different occasions) and I have come to the conclusion that they are a genuine phenomena, but that they are not the remainders of people who have died.

I think they are exactly what you stated, recordings.  Perhaps the materials around the phenomena have something to do with the 'playback' feature?

Well, that blows.  I wanted to hang around for a couple of centuries, fucking with my descendents.

But if they're playbacks, I wonder if there's a way to fuck with them, WOMP style?

Best I can come up with is make a point of masturbating, at the same time every night, in the same spot in the house. Ideally somewhere and sometime where masturbation doesn't ought to happen - living room at 7:30pm, right in front of the teevee or kitchen at breakfast time, on the table. Make sure to moan as loudly as possible for eerie sound fx purposes. Also don't masturbate any other time so there will be as much "ectoplasm" as possible.

This is absolutely amazing stuff. 

I was a skeptic also, until a friend of mine moved into a house that had apparitions and invited me over to see when I didn't take him seriously.  That panic induction thing is odd, because I'm not afraid of this kind of thing (I'm with the Rev, see how far it can go), but I felt very intense anxiety with the apparition in the room; it seemed to be very difficult for me to move.  The house had been sold to him cheap, because the former owner had been murdered there with the same hammer he tried to defend himself with, against an intruder (the flesh and blood kind).  Scott (my friend) had this recurring red stain in his carpet, at the bottom of the stairs, and after unsuccessfully cleaning it several times, he got new carpet.  The stain returned. 

I would never have believed him if I hadn't seen the apparitions myself, and even then I would have been more skeptical about what I saw, if not for the fact that there were two other people in the room at the time.  The "playback" idea is really intriguing.  I'm not sure I've ever come across that take on it before, but it seems pretty sound.  I've never known anyone who has reported this sort of thing and been harmed.

[Elder Iptuous]

I've found that an easy way to do away with the unpleasantries visited upon you by paranormal activity is to not believe in paranormal activity.

^This^

I'm suprised to see the number of people on here that have seen ghostly activity.
why hasn't the Amazing Randi been called to claim his prize?

hell, i'd pay a few buck to see some of the stories that have been told here.


Iptuous,
ghosts don't like him...

[hooplala]

Because the phenomena is rare.

I lived in said house for fourteen years, and saw something bizarre once... Randi doesn't have time like that to spare I would imagine.

[Elder Iptuous]

Because the phenomena is rare.

I lived in said house for fourteen years, and saw something bizarre once... Randi doesn't have time like that to spare I would imagine.

Yes, but he could show up to Nigel's house on October 29th, and wait for her story....
or he could analyze the bloodstained carpet and then set up a camera to record the stain appearing on totally new carpet....
Or he could go to the OP's house and record the good number of phenomena that he reports regularly seeing for what sounds like extended periods of time....

[LMNO]

Unfortunately, some "theories" of paranormal activity indicate that the effects work directly on consciousness, and cannot be recorded by standard instruments.

Cuz it's KWANTUUM.