Weirdos: Gotta Catch 'Em All! (jacked from "Today I learned" thread)

[Cainad (dec.)]

Relevant posts from the Today I Learned thread (starting with this post):

Today I learned

Or re-learned

That I am very tired of being a novelty.

How are you a novelty?

- "look guys what a funny novel friend I made last week, she's small cute looks a bit like an angry eskimo and has a nose ring"
- "OOOOOOOOOOoooooooooO000Ooo can I feed her?"
- "well ... okay, but NEVER feed her kalamara olives after midnight!"

I think that may be closer to the mark than you think, if I understand Nigel correctly. Sometimes people who act like they want to be your friend are secretly Normals with a desire to spend a little bit of time with a novelty Weirdo before going back to what's "safe."

Yeah. That's how a lot of my dating life used to go, when I still bothered with the damn thing.

"Oh hey, she's cute. And really different from what I'm used to. That's fun! And hey, she's comfortable with her sexuality. That's really neat! Oh man, she's exposing me to all these weird new experiences and ideas! She's so quirky and unique!" But then after a little while, they get bored of quirky and unique and new experiences and want to settle back down into normal. Except that this IS normal. They want THEIR idea of normal. So then you end up getting ditched. It goes from REALLY HOT (newness exciting shiny etc) to fleeing pretty quickly, sometimes.

I would hypothesize that is what Nigel means, and if so, she probably has it to a greater extent than I do, because I think she's more quirky and unique and artistic and whatnot than I am, so she probably gets it more intensely.

It's like the cliche in all those indie films about the Manic Sexy Pixie Savior thing whatever. Where some "crazy" girl comes in and saves the introspective, emotionally fragile male main character and brings life back into his, well, life (usually through sex and all her CRAAAAAAAAAAZY antics!) but then their relationship is doomed and she dies or leaves him or turns out to be a psychotic or something, and he moves on with his normal life, but feels re-energized thanks to her quirky ways. He is now a more interesting person, whereas she is a discarded freak, an objet d'art from the extreme of the spectrum, who has no place in his nice normal world. She was a learning experience, if you will.

This sounds so much angrier and more bitter than I intend for it to. I'm honestly just amused by that trope, not angry about it, so apologies if this comes off the wrong way.

That said... Nigel, anyone who sees you as a novelty should be punched in the face with a railroad spike.

Today I learned

Or re-learned

That I am very tired of being a novelty.

How are you a novelty?

- "look guys what a funny novel friend I made last week, she's small cute looks a bit like an angry eskimo and has a nose ring"
- "OOOOOOOOOOoooooooooO000Ooo can I feed her?"
- "well ... okay, but NEVER feed her kalamara olives after midnight!"

Basically something like that. Straight guys or girls like my ex, who think they're "edgy" or "alternative" because they wear funny clothes and/or like the art/music scene and/or open relationships and/or dick meet me and think "oooh, cute eccentric girl! Look how funny she is, with her quirks and cones and lard and her thing about some obscure Greek goddess! This will make my life fun and exotic and cool." But they don't actually GET anything, and since actually at the end of the day they want to go home to Tami with an i and not really be challenged and gradually start to realize that it's 24/7 and not just a new kind of hipster, I start to grate on them. Because I'm still awake making something that's not even serious in Photoshop, and I am seriously going to leave those fucking cones on my roof FOREVER. And maybe, just maybe, I really am going to wear a moustache to a party, and fuck, how embarrassing is that? Plus the weird shit on my walls. It's funny at first, but it's so cluttery, and am I really going to leave that up for the dinner party?

They're like TGRR's perverts... just because they're perverts doesn't make them freaks. They just think freaks are so cool, you know, so they want a pocket one to take to parties. For a while. Or, sometimes, they have a whole STABLE of them they rotate through and invite to parties. You gotta check this chick out, man; she's such a trip.

But I'm starting to recognize it in advance, and learning how to cut it off at the pass. I will not be collected. Like a goddamn Beanie Baby.

For the record, neither Pinecone nor Mario ever treated me like a novelty. Because they are both also freaks. They get it. You get it. I just need to stick to my people. I'm lucky to have some.

This seems to be a common theme in the lives of several of us, and I put it here in Or Kill Me because I think it's something worth ranting about.

We like to talk, and complain, about the Normals, the Machine, the cabbages, and the Greyfaces... but honestly, true Greyfaces are rare in my experience. Even the dullest twerp I've met needs at least a little tiny bit of the weird and novel in his or her life. Just enough to keep them alive and feeling like a warm body. That's what we're here for, at least in their estimation. Weirdos are for keeping in neat little boxes, to be taken out and played with for a little while and do tricks before going back in the box so we don't dirty up the nice new couch.

Or so they think.

The Weird do not take well to being contained. The Normals, the cabbages think they can have us piecemeal because we are easily ignored. This is untrue; we just tend to leave them alone because they bore the everloving shit out of us most of the time. They take us for granted, and when they find out the hard way that we don't have an "Off" switch, they freak out. It bothers them and makes them uncomfortable to know that we don't ever STOP being so weird, that our tricks and quirks and funny little ways of doing things are not just for amusing people at parties, but rather that we actually live that way, and we like it.

This is why I love the friends I have, and don't bother with people who flake. I'm friends with people who give me a run for my money when it comes to weirdness, people who see reality in such bizarre and shifting ways I can't help but be enchanted by them and call them my kin. Where the Normals laugh nervously and pull back, I tear up with joy and seek to embrace the weirdness in front of me. And it's only going to get stranger as the years go by, I'm sure of it.

[Salty]

 

This is something I've felt but have never been able to articulate.

Its worse when you can slowly watch it happening but can't stop yourself from going along with it anyway.

[Brotep]

For the love of mittens, yes!  That was well said.
Props also to Nigel and especially D-Cup--you guys totally called that.

[President Television]

I enjoyed very much. When I was a kid I used to fantasize about turning into Blastoise and going on a rampage.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Very nice Cainad!

I feel self-conscious when I talk about this stuff because of the us vs. them dichotomy, but at the same time I have realized that it's healthy for me to recognize it because I need to protect myself from getting emotionally engaged with someone who will inevitably, ultimately, tire of me.

I am not holding freakishness up as a higher state of being, because it often comes with drawbacks, sometimes major ones. Being high-strung or struggling or just plain crazy are not really things to idealize, and frankly, being weird in ways that permeate your life is not usually something that makes you feel good all the time. It's hard on you, and hard on your loved ones. And you get down on yourself, especially after the hundredth time you really liked someone and thought you had a connection with them and then they tire of your amusing antics and find someone else to spend time with.

But now is probably a good time to stop being down about it, and look around in the world at the other freaks, and realize that we're totally fucking okay, and not collectible novelties. We're not cute. We're not funny. We're just regular people who don't quite fit in with the other regular people.

[Cainad (dec.)]

for Nigel!

I don't like the Us vs. Them attitude most of the time either, and it is an oversimplification... there are degrees of Weirdness and freakishness, to be sure, but regardless it is a useful way to look at the world sometimes.

[.]

This is definitely WIN! 

[NotPublished]

That was amazingly put...

But now is probably a good time to stop being down about it, and look around in the world at the other freaks, and realize that we're totally fucking okay, and not collectible novelties. We're not cute. We're not funny. We're just regular people who don't quite fit in with the other regular people.

Amen! The regular people around are the ones with the quirks. The ones without are just plain weird, imo.


People have known my antics for a long time. I have dumped alot of my old-school friends because I was only ever invited when they needed livening up. I can't be assed to be a clown for them.

But, I have a whole new circle now - and I love my friends to death. We all understand each other, and do stupid things together

[the last yatto]

some reason after reading that my first thoughts were, am i in my mint condition box?

[Payne]

Shit I wish I could actually draw. I have this picture in my head, regarding this. I may WRATH something up.

[The Johnny]

If there is a set of collective "objective and normal behaviours and thoughts" from which if there is a deviation its called a "weirdo"...

I rather be "me the freak" than "us the normals"

The few friends i have are either goths (not by their definition; by my definition), masons/jews, spanish exiledes grandsons, german/canadian/russian foreigners or musicians.

In an "objective" sense, they are intrinsecally "weird" due to aesthetic inclinations, religious/family/cultural background or by life priorities/styles.

Outcasts, pariahs, misfits, outsiders. What else can we be other than this? In a cultural setting where the norm is being catholic; the objective of life is having as much money as possible; where if you arent a "macho" you are a faggot; if you arent a good housekeeping "hembra" you are a lesbian; if you like to stay awake during the night and sleep during the day (even while keeping up with responsabilities) you are either a "vampire" or a "criminal".

This is my definition of "us"; fuck "them" if they think im just a walking circus show for their enternment purposes and that i should go along with their stupid game of "objective normality".

[Payne]

...Or something.

[Elder Iptuous]

complaining about how ones weirdness is a burden in social interaction seems terribly 'high school' to me.

and upon further consideration complaining that complaining about how ones weirdness is a burden in social interaction seems terribly 'college' to me.

but, now, complaining that complaining about complaining about how ones weirdness is a burden in social interaction?  That indicates that i am now a normal fully mature adult.

[Triple Zero]

Payne that picca is AEWSOIEM

[The Johnny]

complaining about how ones weirdness is a burden in social interaction seems terribly 'high school' to me.

and upon further consideration complaining that complaining about how ones weirdness is a burden in social interaction seems terribly 'college' to me.

but, now, complaining that complaining about complaining about how ones weirdness is a burden in social interaction?  That indicates that i am now a normal god-fearing, law-abiding republican fully mature adult.

Fixed.