Reasons vs Excuses

[hooplala]

Is there a difference between a reason and an excuse?

I was watching a program on television a few nights ago (I'll spare you which one it was) and a woman was asking a man about some things he did which she thought were out of line.  He rambled on for a minute or so, documented the causes of said behaviour.  At the end of his speech she asked him:  "Do you think you make excuses for your behaviour a lot?"

Now, here's the crux... to me, it seemed he was explaining the reasons for his actions, yet she heard them as excuses.

What do you think is the difference between the two concepts?  IS there a difference?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Reason:  Why something happened.

Excuse:  Why it isn't your fault.

Sometimes the two are the same thing, but usually not.

For example, the REASON a wife beater abuses his spouse is that he's a cowardly piece of shit who won't control his anger, because it's about control, not anger...and the EXCUSE is that "she made him do it" or perhaps "Because he, himself, was abused."

[Richter]

Depends on the value of the reason given, and it's reception by the other party.  If they're pissed, and hardcore set on being pissed, you're not convincing them.  At least in the working world, I've picked up that if you've got a reason for things going wrong, you need to be proactive with it, or you'll never prove it's NOT an excuse.  
"I didn't mow the lawn because we're our of gasoline."  vs. "Hey, we're out of gas.  I need more before I can mow."

[hooplala]

Reason:  Why something happened.

Excuse:  Why it isn't your fault.

Sometimes the two are the same thing, but usually not.

For example, the REASON a wife beater abuses his spouse is that he's a cowardly piece of shit who won't control his anger, because it's about control, not anger...and the EXCUSE is that "she made him do it" or perhaps "Because he, himself, was abused."

Ah, so the shirk of personal responsibility is the main factor then?

[LMNO]

I consider an "excuse" as a reason to get out of responsibility for an action.

I consider a "reason" as an explanation for an action you were responsible for.


It's a thin line, and it's easy to cross.  However, I think you have to take into context the person demanding an explanation.  In the above example, she was looking for contrition, not an explanation.

So, often it's a case of what the expectations are.  Do you want to know why and how this happened, or do you just want me to say I'm sorry?

If they just want you to say "I'm sorry," then anything you say otherwise will be considered an excuse.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Reason:  Why something happened.

Excuse:  Why it isn't your fault.

Sometimes the two are the same thing, but usually not.

For example, the REASON a wife beater abuses his spouse is that he's a cowardly piece of shit who won't control his anger, because it's about control, not anger...and the EXCUSE is that "she made him do it" or perhaps "Because he, himself, was abused."

Ah, so the shirk of personal responsibility is the main factor then?

Yes.  One is a fact, the other is an attempt to shift blame.

[hooplala]

Very enlightening, thank you all.

I looked up both definitions in a couple different dictionaries, and they both basically seemed like the same definition.  So I thought I would ask the smartest people I know.

[The Johnny]

A: Why did you rape that dog?

B: <reason> Because it turns me on.
    <excuse> Because when i was very young i saw dog pr0n and it got burned into my psyche.

Both are cause/effect explanations.

But the excuse is more about morally justifiying it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Very enlightening, thank you all.

I looked up both definitions in a couple different dictionaries, and they both basically seemed like the same definition.  So I thought I would ask the smartest people I know.

And what did they say?   

[hooplala]

REASON:

1 a cause, explanation, or justification for an action or event


EXCUSE:

1 seek to defend or justify

[Darth Cupcake]

Reason:  Why something happened.

Excuse:  Why it isn't your fault.

Sometimes the two are the same thing, but usually not.

For example, the REASON a wife beater abuses his spouse is that he's a cowardly piece of shit who won't control his anger, because it's about control, not anger...and the EXCUSE is that "she made him do it" or perhaps "Because he, himself, was abused."

Ah, so the shirk of personal responsibility is the main factor then?

That's how I look at it.

When I do something that, looking back, I think was a stupid thing to do, or I dislike how I reacted to a situation, or I wish I had gotten a different grade in class or something, I go back over what happened and try to find the REASON for why it happened.

I then go, "Ah, I see. Well, now that I know what contributed to that undesirable result, I can help avoid it in the future by being on the lookout."

EXCUSES are just a way of avoiding having to accept that you did something wrong.

[LMNO]

Interestingly enough, a lot of the time it also depends on the tone of voice.

"Why did you have sex with that very unattractive person?"

"Hey!  I was horny!  Shut up!" (excuse)

:shrug: "I was horny.  So what?" (reason)

[Darth Cupcake]

Interestingly enough, a lot of the time it also depends on the tone of voice.

"Why did you have sex with that very unattractive person?"

"Hey!  I was horny!  Shut up!" (excuse)

:shrug: "I was horny.  So what?" (reason)

I dig that.

Reasons are acceptance, excuses are avoidance?

But, also, because I want to keep going on what I said before, but condense it a little... Reasons can be learned from. Excuses negate the need to learn at all.

[LMNO]

Responsibility: Reasons accept it, Excuses avoid it.

[hooplala]

My original opinion, before starting this thread, which was pretty cynical, was that it was subjective. 

You know... "I have reasons, THEY have EXCUSES."