I have officially begun my downward decline.

[Jasper]

Recently started taking chewables for acid reflux and tylenol for sinus headaches.

In one decade I'll be on a colostomy bag and dialysis.  Fuck this.

[Ascoe]

[Jasper]

What do you want, Riker?  Your replacement in the new movie is a dweeb.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Recently started taking chewables for acid reflux and tylenol for sinus headaches.

In one decade I'll be on a colostomy bag and dialysis.  Fuck this.

Oh, just wait.

Nexium for horrible acid volcanoes. 

Pills to sleep.

Pills to wake up.

Coffee to function.

One day your ass falls off.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hell, it's better than an upward decline.

[Jasper]

If my ass falls off I am opting out of this species.

[Suu]

I take Prilosec every day for acid reflux.
I take 800mg doses of ibuprofen when I have my period because I can't stand it anymore and have pretty much been functioning on it for about 48 hours straight.
I take Tylenol PM, NyQuil, Benedryl, or a shot of bourbon sometimes just to fall asleep.
I noticed I was drinking too much coffee and had to stop, hence the tea.
I'm actually letting my natural hair color come through for the first time in like 10 years. And boy, am I surprised at how silvery it is. 

[Jasper]

I would truly rather have my brain plugged into a roomba than to eventually shit myself on the floor of an old persons home.

[E.O.T.]

I would truly rather have my brain plugged into a roomba than to eventually shit myself on the floor of an old persons home.

EITHER

          I think that if you went and did that (shit myself on the floor of an old persons home), like right now, it would be invigorating and you would have life by the balls

OR

          DO IT IN A BURQUA

[Cain]

Welcome to your early 20s.

[Jasper]

Also, I take solace in knowing I'm one of the younger spags here.  

ETA: 

I would truly rather have my brain plugged into a roomba than to eventually shit myself on the floor of an old persons home.

EITHER

          I think that if you went and did that (shit myself on the floor of an old persons home), like right now, it would be invigorating and you would have life by the balls

OR

          DO IT IN A BURQUA

If that's what it takes to get me to embrace the vitality of life, it's probably time I died.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

If my ass falls off I am opting out of this species.

It's not as bad as it sounds.

[Richter]

If I make it to 80, I plan to feign senility and pee on EVERYTHING.  You can get away with anythign when you're 80.  Samuel Clemens told me so.

Currently, I'm feeling pretty damn well preserved.  I've got some gray (earned every damn one, thank you), a few iffy joints, and the nerves in one arm being a bit off due to pinching  and scar tissue.
I use caffeine horrifically, and get amused as all hell when I hallucinate.
My mood crashes into "subtle and quick to anger" if I don't eat, and I pee what smells like fine bourbon (you cannot aford), so I may be looking at becoming a horrible person.  Fuck, I even gave up soda and eat low processed sugar / low (er) sodium.

[Triple Zero]

I'm 29 and apart from having -4.5/-5 glasses or contacts and about 15-20 fillings in my teeth, I don't really think I've ever been more physically healthy in my life.

And the eyes gonna get lasered, cause regaining unaided eyesight seems like the best, most solid investment I can make for that money [about EU1500,-- for both eyes including the airflight, depending on where you go]. Better than gold, am I right, Iptuous?

Oh yeah, my hairs are going gray too ... I don't really see why I should care about that, it looks distinguished, right? And rather gray than bald, any time. My skin going a bit less tight in certain places, I could do without that I think. Maybe it's the smoking but I should quit that anyway [haven't smoked for 1.5 days! w00t] otherwise they have creams for that no? I should find out what's really in them and try it out [usually it's something ridiculously simple and all the solar peach lemon coconut extract crap is just bullshit that *might* smell nice].

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

I'm alive and capable of making those around me miserable and thereby ensuring the enjoyment of my own day.  What more can I ask for?