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What is the largest animal you think you could kill with your bare hands?

Started by hooplala, January 08, 2010, 05:09:24 PM

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Salty

#90
January 09, 2010, 09:05:01 PM
Yeah, in retrospect I believe I mean one of these:

that hypothetically got out into the wild.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Nast

#91
January 09, 2010, 09:07:05 PM
D'awww, it's like a living little pork cutlet.  :cry:
"If I owned Goodwill, no charity worker would feel safe.  I would sit in my office behind a massive pile of cocaine, racking my pistol's slide every time the cleaning lady came near.  Auditors, I'd just shoot."

Richter

#92
January 09, 2010, 09:07:32 PM
Quote from: Zenpeanut on January 09, 2010, 08:32:45 PM
I think I could probably take a baboon.

Do not EVER fuck with a non human primate.  They are crazy strong.  Humans are at the really weak end of the spectrum.  We got tools and thumbs, sure, and we NEED them.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Cain

#93
January 09, 2010, 09:08:57 PM
I googled "wild pig" by the way, and found this

http://www.rascalssanantonio.com/PIG%20SEX%201.JPG (surprisingly not unsafe for work)

Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ

#94
January 09, 2010, 09:22:23 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 09, 2010, 08:56:33 PM
While I was looking up wild board stories, this article made me sad: http://www.cryptomundo.com/cryptozoo-news/hogzilla-not/
:cry: Poor Fred.


MY TRUE FORM REVEALED!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  :x AND THEY SHOT ME TOO!!!!!

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#95
January 09, 2010, 10:15:04 PM
Quote from: Richter on January 09, 2010, 09:07:32 PM
Quote from: Zenpeanut on January 09, 2010, 08:32:45 PM
I think I could probably take a baboon.

Do not EVER fuck with a non human primate.  They are crazy strong.  Humans are at the really weak end of the spectrum.  We got tools and thumbs, sure, and we NEED them.

Yeah. I had a friend who worked at the zoo; a big burly guy. One day a little chimp ran up to him, reached up, and -snap- broke his arm just like that.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Jasper

#96
January 09, 2010, 10:21:49 PM
Do not meddle in the affairs of primates, for they are blatant and quick to anger.

Triple Zero

#97
January 09, 2010, 11:37:24 PM
The wild pigs that nearly ran in front of our car last week in Germany (WOOT I SAW WILD PIGS ZOMG) didn't seem that incredibly huge as the pic you linked, Nigel.

Still, I have no idea how I''d kill them with my bare hands, they seem so round and solid! Where to break them??
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Salty

#98
January 09, 2010, 11:52:19 PM
You must grab them by the tusks! From there they will be like so much pig-shaped clay.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Faust

#99
January 09, 2010, 11:55:40 PM
A stripper. I hope this hasn't been posted already.
Sleepless nights at the chateau

The Fundamentalist

#100
January 10, 2010, 12:05:22 AM
I could maybe kill an ant, on a good day.  (I'm pretty weak.)  Not that I would, I like insects.

Freeky

#101
January 10, 2010, 01:28:35 AM
Oh jeebus. Even if you weren't fucking with apes or larger monkeys, the little bastards could still fuck you up.

With all their horrible diseases.

MMIX

#102
January 10, 2010, 01:31:37 AM
You . . . human you
"The ultimate hidden truth of the world is that it is something we make and could just as easily make differently" David Graeber

Freeky

#103
January 10, 2010, 01:35:18 AM
Not me, I'm a sheeple!

Baaaa.

Iason Ouabache

#104
January 10, 2010, 08:24:16 AM
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on January 09, 2010, 07:18:24 AM
I wanna fuck up a koala.
I don't know if I'd actually win, but I bet it'd be a lot of fun to try.
Koalas are slow, lazy, and have almost no natural defenses when on the ground. It'd be easy to take one on. 

The largest animal I could kill with my bare hands: three-toed sloth.
You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.
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