Principia Discordia > Discordian Recipes
ITT, I review alcoholic energy drinks for SCIENCE.
East Coast Hustle:
Brand: Four Loko
Flavor: "Loko Uva"
Booze: 12%
Serving Size: 23.5 oz.
Stimulants: Taurine, Guarana, Caffeine
Other Known Ingredients: Artificial Flavor, FD&C Red #40, FD&C Blue #1
Tastes Like: A mix of grape soda and paint thinner
Verdict: Barely tolerable, as long as you're thirsty and it's kept ICE cold. Will probably drink again someday.
Rating (out of ten points): 3
East Coast Hustle:
Brand: Joose
Flavor: "Jungle Joose"
Booze: 9.9%
Serving Size: 23.5 oz.
Stimulants: Taurine, Ginseng, Caffeine
Other Known Ingredients: Certified Color, FD&C Yellow #5
Tastes Like: Equal parts Sweet 'n' Low, buttered popcorn, and burnt clutch.
Verdict: Hutus wouldn't have made Tutsis drink this stuff during the Rwandan genocide. If I were Haitian, drinking this would be the worst thing that happened to me this week. Would only purchase again for use as an insecticide.
Rating: Zero. As in, zero redeeming qualities. And zero chance I will ever drink it again.
Mesozoic Mister Nigel:
That sounds ghastly!
Jasper:
East Coast Hustle:
--- Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 15, 2010, 05:04:19 am ---That sounds ghastly!
--- End quote ---
I take these risks so you won't have to.
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