Principia Discordia > Discordian Recipes

ITT, I review alcoholic energy drinks for SCIENCE.

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--- Quote from: Emerald City Hustle on January 15, 2010, 05:02:50 am ---Brand: Joose

Flavor: "Jungle Joose"

Booze: 9.9%

Serving Size: 23.5 oz.

Stimulants: Taurine, Ginseng, Caffeine

Other Known Ingredients: Certified Color, FD&C Yellow #5

Tastes Like: Equal parts Sweet 'n' Low, buttered popcorn, and burnt clutch.

Verdict: Hutus wouldn't have made Tutsis drink this stuff during the Rwandan genocide. If I were Haitian, drinking this would be the worst thing that happened to me this week. Would only purchase again for use as an insecticide.

Rating: Zero. As in, zero redeeming qualities. And zero chance I will ever drink it again.

--- End quote ---

Joose is amazingly terrible. I have now sampled every flavor. They are all terrible. Like Con-Air terrible (in the sense that it's so bad you actually start to enjoy it). The buzz is deadly, as well, if you drink enough. That 9.9 sneaks up on you pretty quick. And the resulting hangover provides the feeling of a belly full of thumb-tacks. Bad things happen when the Joose is loose...


--- Quote from: Jenne on January 15, 2010, 09:40:14 pm ---...curious...we still get Sparks here in SD...

--- End quote ---

Just because they stopped making it, doesn't mean there still isn't enough supply kicking around.  :horrormirth:

Iason Ouabache:
I've got this strange feeling that ECH will never be able to find a good alcoholic energy drink.

Sure he will, just crush caffeine tablets into a powder and stir into his favourite beer.

Chief Uwachiquen:

--- Quote from: Rumckle on January 18, 2010, 10:14:13 am ---Sure he will, just crush caffeine tablets into a powder and stir into his favourite beer.

--- End quote ---

Or crystal meth. It's crystal meth in a can. Power Thirst is Crystal Meth in a can.


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