ITT, I review alcoholic energy drinks for SCIENCE.

[BabylonHoruv]

ECH's post-prep pre-lunch-rush breakfast of choice when working:

combine in blender:

1 banana (peeled)
1 raw egg (shell can be discarded, if preferred)
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 cup frozen strawberries
1/2 cup milk
1 cup decent brandy or rum

blend until smooth, then pour into a 22oz. mug until about 1/2 to 2/3 full.
top mug off with 1/2 can of fruit punch-flavored Nos Energy Drink
stir gently with spoon to mix, then pound it down.

repeat, as you will usually end up with enough to make two mugs.

you won't have to eat for a good 12 hours and you will be totally ready to fistfight a rhino.

Except for the Nos that sounds delicious.

[Dimocritus]

Caution: May contain Anna Kournikova.

[phi]

Last night I got fucked up and energized on a mix of

• Vodka
• Naked Juice
• Seltzer
• Rocks

Probably wouldn't be as energizing for everyone as it was for me as I am sensitive to sugar, but it was fucking tasty. You can feel healthy as you beat the shit out of your liver!

Also, if you want to just wake yourself up in a "WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DRINK!?" sort of way, I bring you The Burning Bush:

• Gin
• A fuck ton of hot sauce.
• A Jalapeño pepper

Let it sit for a bit, allowing the pepper's character to come out and the drink to get warm. Slosh it around in your mouth a bit. Scream something profane and blasphemous and then slam your empty drink down.

It has all the endearing traits of vomit!

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

In the old days people just did lines in the bathroom and tequila shots at the bar...... 

being in Portland, I expect the cocaine would be organic, sustainably-farmed, carbon-free, and utterly worthless at twice the price. I'll stick to synthetic uppers, because I know what to expect from them.

 

[Dysnomia]

Incidentally, POWERTHIRST.

400 BABIES

They can run as fast as KENYANS.

and then they would be deported back to KENYA.

[E.O.T.]

In the old days people just did lines in the bathroom and tequila shots at the bar...... 

Now your talking!

THANK YOU

[East Coast Hustle]

Brand: Four Loko

Flavor: "Fruit Punch"

Booze: 12%

Serving Size: 23.5 oz.

Stimulants: Taurine, Guarana, Caffeine

Other Known Ingredients: Artificial Flavor, FD&C Red #40

Tastes Like: Fruit Punch, if fruit punch were made in a prison toilet tank.

Verdict: Tasted better than either of the first 2 contestants, but made me void my bowels within 5 minutes of the first sip and left me with a very angry and pained gut after half a can. Could not finish.

Rating (out of ten points): Incomplete. Will try again tonight at the party and report on results of slamming an entire can.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Brand: Four Loko

Flavor: "Fruit Punch"

Booze: 12%

Serving Size: 23.5 oz.

Stimulants: Taurine, Guarana, Caffeine

Other Known Ingredients: Artificial Flavor, FD&C Red #40

Tastes Like: Fruit Punch, if fruit punch were made in a prison toilet tank.

Verdict: Tasted better than either of the first 2 contestants, but made me void my bowels within 5 minutes of the first sip and left me with a very angry and pained gut after half a can. Could not finish.

Rating (out of ten points): Incomplete. Will try again tonight at the party and report on results of slamming an entire can.

Sounds like it could be marketed to those "colon cleanse" freaks.

[East Coast Hustle]

for sure. I mean, it didn't just make me shit, it emptied me. Including the stuff I had eaten for dinner less than 3 hours before, most of which was still recognizable (which may have been part of why my guts felt like I swallowed a cenobite).

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

for sure. I mean, it didn't just make me shit, it emptied me. Including the stuff I had eaten for dinner less than 3 hours before, most of which was still recognizable (which may have been part of why my guts felt like I swallowed a cenobite).

 

[E.O.T.]

for sure. I mean, it didn't just make me shit, it emptied me. Including the stuff I had eaten for dinner less than 3 hours before, most of which was still recognizable (which may have been part of why my guts felt like I swallowed a cenobite).

TASTES

          GREAT

FEELS

          EVEN BETTER

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

the Joose looks like this:

Fucking hell, why would they make it that color?

They didn't, the antifreeze company that originally made it did.

[Freeky]

ECH's post-prep pre-lunch-rush breakfast of choice when working:

combine in blender:

1 banana (peeled)
1 raw egg (shell can be discarded, if preferred)
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 cup frozen strawberries
1/2 cup milk
1 cup decent brandy or rum

blend until smooth, then pour into a 22oz. mug until about 1/2 to 2/3 full.
top mug off with 1/2 can of fruit punch-flavored Nos Energy Drink
stir gently with spoon to mix, then pound it down.

repeat, as you will usually end up with enough to make two mugs.

you won't have to eat for a good 12 hours and you will be totally ready to fistfight a rhino.

This is YOM YOM YOM.

[East Coast Hustle]

Bump. I feel I should revive this experiment.

[Freeky]

You totally should.