Spagbook

[lexi]

More like it’s working on me, but yeah.

I’m worse than I’ve ever been these days, and “worse than I’ve ever been” when housed and with enough money to eat and smoke cigarettes by my standards is fucking abysmal.

Yikes. I'm sorry to hear that. You still have basic needs not met though? Feel free to send me a message.

So … the photo series. The only outlet I have that is … safe, for some values of safe.

Then thank you so much for sharing.

I don't expect the parts which are hurting to start healing until they feel they are understood and accepted.

[altered]

I’m fine for now. I think I’ve burned a lot of bridges and lost most of my friends for good because I’m not whole and healthy right now, but I’m alive. I don’t “need” anything, not really anyway.

I have passing desires, but they’re expensive and pointless. They’d be nothing more than a golden bandaid over a festering gut wound. I’m fine. I appreciate it though.

As for sharing, well. I don’t feel any special attachment to them. I just thought those two showed my face well in unusual lighting and angles. The others either don’t show my face at all or aren’t stuff to share with just anyone, for that person’s sake more than my own. One, the new part 6, is both.

[lexi]

I’m fine for now. I think I’ve burned a lot of bridges and lost most of my friends for good because I’m not whole and healthy right now,

Relatable feels. Sometimes it's true, sometimes it's not, and I have been pleasantly undeservedly surprised in the past, but carrying the "maybe" over time gets heavy.

but I’m alive.

Yay!

I don’t “need” anything, not really anyway.

I have passing desires, but they’re expensive and pointless. They’d be nothing more than a golden bandaid over a festering gut wound. I’m fine. I appreciate it though.

Gotcha.

As for sharing, well. I don’t feel any special attachment to them. I just thought those two showed my face well in unusual lighting and angles. The others either don’t show my face at all or aren’t stuff to share with just anyone, for that person’s sake more than my own. One, the new part 6, is both.

Now i'm curious, but I don't have anything similar yet to offer in return.

Thanks for reminding me that the purpose of this thread is to show my face

Taken after surviving 6 months of construction and the fires caused by and as contractors
ripped off my landlord installing ridiculously over the top levels of fire-safety lights and alarms in this
unstable tinderbox of prime downtown Hamilton real estate

[lexi]

i thought this would be a funny way to reclaim that old transphobic trap slur.
but when i posted it to facebook last year, all i got were care reacts

[Doktor Howl]

Taken after surviving 6 months of construction and the fires caused by and as contractors
ripped off my landlord installing ridiculously over the top levels of fire-safety lights and alarms in this
unstable tinderbox of prime downtown Hamilton real estate

I lived in Hamilton for 3 years, and I can say with authority that there is no prime real estate anywhere near the city.

[lexi]

I wish my landlord of the last year had that confidence, instead of the confidence to say she'd double the rent in order to add me to the lease officially.

also - the view out my front door every time it rains 
https://photos.app.goo.gl/tLCypi9uEHZ2JSTs8

[lexi]

this mornings whim which i posted about then promptly forgot and kept wondering why i kept getting weird looks

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

i thought this would be a funny way to reclaim that old transphobic trap slur.
but when i posted it to facebook last year, all i got were care reacts

this mornings whim which i posted about then promptly forgot and kept wondering why i kept getting weird looks

Weird looks beat care reacts.
Really, those things should be reserved for dead pets and the like.

[lexi]

care reacts seem to exist for when you don't "love" that someone is going through something, but you don't care enough/are unable to support beyond acknowledgement. i suppose it fills the "thoughts and prayers" gap for those who would never say those words directly?

i'm used to weird looks whenever i'm just walking down the street wearing whatever i want, but that day i was fully winterised - feeling warm, protected and anonymous - as soon as i put my glasses on, i forget they are there for the most part.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

care reacts seem to exist for when you don't "love" that someone is going through something, but you don't care enough/are unable to support beyond acknowledgement. i suppose it fills the "thoughts and prayers" gap for those who would never say those words directly?

That sounds about right.
"I'm sorry about your devastating event but I'm 2500 miles away, I don't have any spare money and I don't feel like talking about this."

i'm used to weird looks whenever i'm just walking down the street wearing whatever i want, but that day i was fully winterised - feeling warm, protected and anonymous - as soon as i put my glasses on, i forget they are there for the most part.

People gotta see. Call it je ne sais quoi and tell 'em to pound sand.

[altered]

Well I have another bomb ass pair of photos of me

[EK WAFFLR]

Alright then.

[Doktor Howl]

Alright then.

And then waffle was the new, improved Lemmy.

[altered]

I have gotten both Fat and Hot As Fuck, and I drive all the transbians and lesboys wild now. Also, I have the coolest pendant ever (because I'm a huge edgy nerd and I love Quake 1).