Author Topic: A New Art, In and of Itself: The Horrible Review  (Read 15781 times)

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: A New Art, In and of Itself: The Horrible Review
« Reply #45 on: January 25, 2010, 06:47:02 pm »
OH GODDAMMIT.


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Lies

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Re: A New Art, In and of Itself: The Horrible Review
« Reply #46 on: January 25, 2010, 07:03:52 pm »
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You know what would make this book better?
NOT WRITING IT.

I read the first 5 pages of this and felt like punching who ever wrote it.

This is just... terrible.. no, terrible would imply that this is poorly written.

No, this book is much worse then terrible.
Twilight is terrible, this is on a whole new level of literary desecration.

I want my 5 minutes of life back Darrin.
Shame on you and your abomination to the book world.

I suggest going back to school and finishing 5th grade before you attempt to write another one of these coprophagous "novels".

Better yet, don't ever write anything ever again.
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Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
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Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
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ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order… is you!

LMNO

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Re: A New Art, In and of Itself: The Horrible Review
« Reply #47 on: January 25, 2010, 07:16:05 pm »
No amount of research could have prepared me for this book.  It is a work of profound significance, the likes of which the world has never seen, nor shall soon see again.  Engraved deeply into every page, every sentence, there is a power that is greater than anything a mere mortal could have summoned.

Think of it: A story so original, so vast and encompassing, that it could only have been narrated by a dragon in the course of one human's dreaming! A world of Necromancers, Warlocks, and War Unicorns.  A story so profound that it could only be told in the present tense. 

See!  See!  This work of art is so powerful, not even the iron-clad rules of grammar and syntax can contain it!  The narrative claws and tears its way through modern vernacular, the seething, pulsing energy of the tale surrounding King Yarganarganarg oozing out of the page like the ichor that runs through the veins of the Necromantic protagonist.

In short, "Delgotha: Book 1" deals with its dense and heady subjects with more sensitivity than "Left Behind", has more emotional honesty than "Twilight", and with a grace and subtlety that rivals "My Immortal" for pure literary genius.




Now, i just have to register.

Reginald Ret

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Re: A New Art, In and of Itself: The Horrible Review
« Reply #48 on: January 25, 2010, 07:26:36 pm »
you know whats weird?
I can see 4 reviews.
2 of them gave 1 star, 2 of them gave no rating.
At the top, it's got a two star rating.

How the fuck does that work?

One of the Euros gave him 3 stars, then explained WHY. 
nuh uh. wasn't anyone i can see.

i see:
2 reviews
1 1 star, 1 no rating.
1.5 star rating.
maybe they count no ratings as 3 stars?

PAYNE! rate it already you lazy bastard.
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LMNO

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Re: A New Art, In and of Itself: The Horrible Review
« Reply #49 on: January 25, 2010, 07:27:37 pm »
I gave it 5 stars.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: A New Art, In and of Itself: The Horrible Review
« Reply #50 on: January 25, 2010, 07:28:31 pm »
I gave it 5 stars.

Ouch.

Your revenge is swift, Eastern One.
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 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

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Re: A New Art, In and of Itself: The Horrible Review
« Reply #51 on: January 25, 2010, 07:38:40 pm »
I've got more email addresses, and I'm not afraid to treat this book as the second coming of Robert Ludlum.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: A New Art, In and of Itself: The Horrible Review
« Reply #52 on: January 25, 2010, 07:50:02 pm »
I've got more email addresses, and I'm not afraid to treat this book as the second coming of Robert Ludlum.

CURSE YOU, BEHATTED ONE!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Suu

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Re: A New Art, In and of Itself: The Horrible Review
« Reply #53 on: January 25, 2010, 07:55:42 pm »
:mittens:
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Re: A New Art, In and of Itself: The Horrible Review
« Reply #54 on: January 25, 2010, 08:14:54 pm »
In other news, writing this bad should be banned by the Geneva Convention.

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Re: A New Art, In and of Itself: The Horrible Review
« Reply #55 on: January 25, 2010, 08:37:52 pm »
"On EVERY page this book gave me a papercut, and page 23 had AIDS!!"
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NotPublished

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Re: A New Art, In and of Itself: The Horrible Review
« Reply #56 on: January 25, 2010, 10:03:27 pm »
 :lol: :lol: :lol: Funny one Triple

I brought it back down to 2 stars  :argh!:
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Re: A New Art, In and of Itself: The Horrible Review
« Reply #57 on: January 25, 2010, 10:16:05 pm »
I had such high hopes when I started this.  I thought it would be an amazing read.

Unfortunately it wasn't written to be read by anyone with a 20 IQ or higher.  The character names, the locations, they are pure gibberish.  If there is an actual plot, it flits all over this fantasy land like pigeons on crack and never lands on any given path.

In fact, I would buy cracked out pigeon poop before I purchased anything else by this author.

A waste of time, money, and I know there were many brain cells which commited suicide in the course of reading this, this....  I cannot even bring myself to call it a book.  Bound toilet tissue is the best term out there!!


Pariah

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Re: A New Art, In and of Itself: The Horrible Review
« Reply #58 on: January 25, 2010, 11:37:30 pm »
Quote
What first drew me to this book was the cover art, which instantly provokes deep questions. What is the meaning of life? What are those swirlies for? Is that a rune, some ancient archaic symbol, possibly the "Delgotha" of the title. The title is even more mysterious. "The Kings of War"
The
Kings

. . .

of War?
War is no geographical region I have ever heard of. However my knowledge of Medieval Political Maps is quite limited. However the book mantains this initial sense of mystery throughout. This is probably due to the deep well rounded characters Delzer can craft such as "UNDEAD GOLDEN SKELETON CHAMPION SYQUART" or the lovable War Unicorn Ambien™. But this book is much more than a fantasy epic. It is a philosophical treatise worthy of placement next to Nietzsche's  "Beyond Good and Evil" or Gray's "Fun with Dick and Jane." One quote which is provided for you in the foreword really strikes true. So true that I made a poster of it and had it printed at Kinko's. "Inside there is a dragon in all of us, but not all dragons are good, and it shows through their actions and words. So be watchful and listen well. Knowing this will keep you from suffering much heartache." Now that's something to live by.
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Reginald Ret

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Re: A New Art, In and of Itself: The Horrible Review
« Reply #59 on: January 25, 2010, 11:43:45 pm »
Quote
What first drew me to this book was the cover art, which instantly provokes deep questions. What is the meaning of life? What are those swirlies for? Is that a rune, some ancient archaic symbol, possibly the "Delgotha" of the title. The title is even more mysterious. "The Kings of War"
The
Kings

. . .

of War?
War is no geographical region I have ever heard of. However my knowledge of Medieval Political Maps is quite limited. However the book mantains this initial sense of mystery throughout. This is probably due to the deep well rounded characters Delzer can craft such as "UNDEAD GOLDEN SKELETON CHAMPION SYQUART" or the lovable War Unicorn Ambien™. But this book is much more than a fantasy epic. It is a philosophical treatise worthy of placement next to Nietzsche's  "Beyond Good and Evil" or Gray's "Fun with Dick and Jane." One quote which is provided for you in the foreword really strikes true. So true that I made a poster of it and had it printed at Kinko's. "Inside there is a dragon in all of us, but not all dragons are good, and it shows through their actions and words. So be watchful and listen well. Knowing this will keep you from suffering much heartache." Now that's something to live by.
Well done!
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

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