Salsa: the miracle food-product

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I hate the Green Mountain Gringo salsa with a burning, murderous passion. It's oddly sweet AND, to add insult to injury, has apple cider vinegar in it. APPLE FUCKING CIDER VINEGAR. That shit is for HIPPIES. HIPPIES AND WHITE PEOPLE. My ex, who is both a hippie and a white person, used to buy Green Mountain Gringo home and I would tell him for the 5000th time not to bring me any salsa made by hippies, and especially never to bring me any salsa that actually has "Gringo" ON THE FUCKING LABEL. Goddamn.

I do not understand why hippies and white people love apple cider vinegar so much.

000, I don't really use a recipe, but in general for a canned salsa what you want to do is take a lot of tomatoes, a lot of onions, a few peppers (your choice; I use a combination of jalapeno and anaheim) some cilantro, some salt, and some lime juice. Dice it all up, combine in a large pot and bring just to a boil, then immediately ladle it into sterilized jars, put the lids on (soft close so air can escape), and immerse them in a boiling water bath for ten minutes. Take them out, let them cool, and put them in your pantry. That's it. Easy as pie. Add stuff like garlic if you want.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Here's a wee primer, though I recommend getting a book on canning if you decide to get into it: http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art2816.asp

[Salty]

I do not understand why hippies and white people love apple cider vinegar so much.

Cuz it's pure man, comes from mother earth. Not like that factory, INDUSTRIAL vinegar.
     /

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I do not understand why hippies and white people love apple cider vinegar so much.

Cuz it's pure man, comes from mother earth. Not like that factory, INDUSTRIAL vinegar.
     /

CORPORATE VINEGAR

NEW BAND NAME.

[Suu]

It's so fucking Vermont...Lol.

[LMNO]

RCH: coconut vinegar? 


Nigel: apple vinegar is cheaper than sherry vinegar, and tastes the same when you add a fuckload of spices. I use it whenever white is too strong, and wine is too complex. Go fuck yourself.

LMNO
-not a hippie.

[East Coast Hustle]

RCH: coconut vinegar? 


Nigel: apple vinegar is cheaper than sherry vinegar, and tastes the same when you add a fuckload of spices. I use it whenever white is too strong, and wine is too complex. Go fuck yourself.

LMNO
-not a hippie.

1) yeah, believe it or not they carry it at my local Walmart. It's fucking awesome. It's my new secret weapon, replacing smoked sea salt.

2) this, minus the part where you tell Nigel to go fuck herself.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

  smoked sea salt 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

A: I probably will fuck myself before the end of the night, and B: apple cider vinegar has its uses, I've just never understood the weird hippie obsession for using it in place of more appropriate tarteners, say in salsa, where it fills me with rage and hate.

[East Coast Hustle]

I wouldn't generally use it in salsa unless it was all I had for acidity...unless I was making apple salsa.

[LMNO]

Looks like my R-Prime got out of hand up there. Sorry about that, Nigel.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Looks like my R-Prime got out of hand up there. Sorry about that, Nigel.

No need to apologize for R-Prime, especially when it's useful and/or pleasurable R-Prime.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Although, awesomely, due to the way that particular evening wound up, there was no need for me to fuck myself. 

[solidsnake]

Try bedouin salsa at epicurious.com

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Bedouin-Salsa-355011

yield: Makes 2 cups
active time: 30 min
total time: 40 min
While the restaurant serves the ultra-spicy salsa alongside hummus, tsatsiki, and baba ghanouj, chef Eric Leyden suggests it as a lively accompaniment to meats and hearty lentil or tomato soups.

8 to 10 garlic cloves, peeled
3 fresh jalapeños, stemmed
6 fresh serrano chiles, stemmed and chopped
3/4 cup coarsely chopped sweet onion
2 heaping teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 cup grapeseed or vegetable oil
1/3 cup fresh lemon juice
1 to 1 1/2 cups flat-leaf parsley sprigs

Heat a comal or dry 12-inch heavy skillet (preferably cast-iron; not nonstick) over medium-low heat until hot.
Cook garlic and jalapeños, turning with tongs occasionally, until blackened in spots, about 15 minutes. Cool slightly, about 15 minutes.
Combine all ingredients except parsley in a food processor and finely chop. Add parsley and pulse a few more times.

[Jasper]

RCH: coconut vinegar? 


Nigel: apple vinegar is cheaper than sherry vinegar, and tastes the same when you add a fuckload of spices. I use it whenever white is too strong, and wine is too complex. Go fuck yourself.

LMNO
-not a hippie.

1) yeah, believe it or not they carry it at my local Walmart. It's fucking awesome. It's my new secret weapon, replacing smoked sea salt.

Which.  One.