Lister's Movie Guide: The Evil Cult

[Lister]

The Evil Cult (a.k.a. "The Kung Fu Cult Master" in some regions)

Starring: A very young Jet Li
Sammo Hung
+some more oriental people I've never heard of.

I have a weak spot for oldskool kung fu movies.  
When you view the whole availability of kung fu movies, then the Bruce Lee ones can be easily called boring...

It's hard to find decent screenshots of this movie, so this one will have to do:

Jet Li & his posse


Above are the least extravagant-looking characters in the movie.

First a warning: the movie is 96 minutes, but do to some weird timewarp thingie, it seems as if it's 180 minutes...  No Shit; happened twice in a row...
It might seem so long because the plot is very confusing at first, since events tend to follow each other up really fast, with random flashbacks thrown in for good measure.

Here's what I understood from the plot so far (do not read if you want the full experience of watching it for the first time):

Once upon a time, 2 magical swords were created that were powerful enough to rule the world.  One sword was taken away by "Golden Lion" from the "Evil Cult" (the evil cult are the good guys in this movie...  It took me half the movie to figure this one out...), and the other one by some other guy.
Golden Lion then tried out the hermit thingie and disappeared with his sword.  The only guy who knew where Golden Lion was committed suicide instead of telling the real evil guys (a whole lot of warlords, bushy-eyebrowed shaolin monks with bells, and a nun named "Sister No-Mercy" who for some reason had obtained the sword leading them), and incidentally that guy was Jet Li's father.  
**You obtained a quest: Avenge Thy Father**
**A journal entry has been created**
But Jet Li has been hit by the "Jinx Hand" as a kid, and therefore can't learn kung fu...
Jet Li no kung fu?
Not untill he grows up, learns some special ?ºber kung fu from a castout insane hermit cook who's chained to a giant boulder in a dark forest at the bottom of a crevasse.
After that he just learns kung fu like it's nobody's business, and starts his own personal war against an army, working sort of with the evil cult.

And then suddenly halfway the story after 3 hours, the movie suddenly stops...
No happy ending, no warning,...
Just *BLAM!*: ending credits...

Apparantly it was supposed to get a sequel, but for some reason it never got one.

I recommend this movie to anyone who's sort of interested in kung fu movies.

Action: ***** (only for about 9 cumulative minutes in the entire movie absolutely no-one is fighting)
Romance: * (Female sidekick tries to make a pass, but only at the end of the movie does he even show a slight interest)
Confusion: ***** (practice the following mantra to chant while watching: "WTF is going on?")
Humor: ***** (get it subbed, not dubbed.  The subtitles are the best.)
Over The Top Extravagancy: ***** (Look again at the utter right guy on the pic.  Then at the utter left guy's mustache...  The right one is "White Eagle", and the left one "Green Bat")
Gore: ** (some chopped-off limbs at times, nothing more)
Sex: - (Main characters wishes to stay a virgin so he gets a boner every morning and his kung fu stays top shape.  As by the exact words of his teacher -second guy from the right-)

Ninja Presence:  There's one sudden ninja attack in some temple, but very few ninja's overall.