Author Topic: ABOLISH STUPIDITY!  (Read 5294 times)

Irreverend Hugh, KSC

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ABOLISH STUPIDITY!
« on: April 15, 2003, 06:45:07 am »
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OFFICIAL P.M.C. ERISIAN ESOTERIC DOCUMENT: DO NOT PRINT AND USE FOR TOILET PAPER AS IT IS SUBTLE AND SWIFT TO ANGER!!! HAIL ERIS!!
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Today??s Date: April 4th, 2003 a.d., Discord 21st , 3169

Friends, lovers, pets, and damned things that defy such categories, I hereby announce that, after much collective arguing and bargaining with various characters, some imagined and some otherwise, the Purple Monkey Cabal has decided to come up with a definitive statement on the evolution of homo sapiens (the domesticated primate species that thinks it currently dominates the planet). So please pay attention to at least three or four lines before swearing like a sailor and telling me where to go.

Whilst thinking about the US attack against Iraq with a heavy heart and reading some of the words by the great saint Robert Anton Wilson, the thought occurred to me: ABOLISH STUPIDITY!

Is that not a worthy and noble goal??˝I thought so!

As the Episkopos currently responsible for the misdirection and illumination of the PMC, as a human being and as a life form, I hereby announce the launching of the Purple Monkey Cabal??s
WAR ON STUPIDITY. The first efforts will be at searching out and destroying stupidity, wherever it tries to hide. And make no mistakes about it, we will find, tickle, and illuminate every person who harbors stupidity.

Stupidity is the most dangerous Weapon of Mass Destruction and you will find this WMD everywhere, from the halls of the White House to the banks of the Tigris River. Stupidity is the reason why we still have wars even though most people loathe them. Stupidity is the reason we have evolved lifestyles of consumption that destroy the sustainance we depend upon for survival. Stupidity is the reason certain people and groups of people can order or cause the death and suffering of millions of people. Stupidity is the reason why thousands of people find themselves and their cars wrapped around trees or other objects, instead of simply hugging those trees or other objects. Stupidity is the reason some of us refuse to wipe the bullshit from our eyes and see ourselves as we really are. Stupidity is the reason people still choose to watch CNN, or other network media outlets, and call it news. Stupidity is a menace that must be stopped.

And rest assured, my Erisian pronoiac comrades, we will seize this scourge by the power of our laughter and bomb it to bits with education and erudition. We will totally dissolve the menace of stupidity with the most potent weapon we have available: FREE THOUGHT. Whether stupidity is harbored amongst the dogmatic fundamentalists who insist that their belief is the one true belief and all others will burn in hell, or whether stupidity is secretly carried in the minds of scientists who refuse to acknowledge the reality of magickal practices?˝whether stupidity is proclaimed as the highest form of learning by our conservative academic institutions and their elites, or whether stupidity is foolishly courted by the activists who sometimes self-righteously claim to be the good guys?˝whether stupidity is fostered by the post-modern media advertising establishment of global injustice, or whether stupidity is hoisted aloft by people who resist the advertising but still use the products anyway?˝We will dissolve this menace so that the domesticated primate human beings living in cocoons of habit and wage-slavery, clouded by the jingos of self-importance, comfort and security can reach upwards in freedom.
We will use the principles underlined, crossed out, revised, re-revised, forgotten, cursed, blessed, and re-re-revised, that have been historically successful tactics in the Erisian Movement mission known as Operation Mindfuck. Two key principles of this operation are Subvert the Dominant Paradigm through Militant Humor and Illuminate the Opposition. And if worse comes to worse, we may even use our most potent weapons, besides Free Thought?˝wisdom, love, and magick. The battles will be many from within and without, but take courage in the general movement of the evolutionary thrust of life?˝and know that the war against stupidity will be won. All those who oppose intelligence and wisdom will be illuminated.

The first phase and all other phases in this War on Stupidity will be known henceforth as Operation Mental Freedom. And a new anti-bureaucratic office known as the Pineal Gland Flexibility Cultivation and Liberation Department will be set up in the astral plain to provide aid and knowledge to all those who need strength and support in this fight. You can access/contact/ or complain to the Department at any time by using your own pineal glands. It helps to turn off the television when doing so.

My first action in this War Against Stupidity will be to end this little diatribe before it gets to be rather long and stupid. So that??s all for now. Go out and Illuminate the Opposition!

----St. Hugh, K.S.C. and Episkopos, PMC disorganized and dizzy, Eris is coming next Tuesday at lunch.
-><-
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OFFICIAL PURPLE MONKEY CABAL E.E. DOCUMENT: DO NOT PRINT AND USE FOR SMOKING PAPER AS IT IS VERY STUPID TO DO THAT.
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HELP CONQUER THE I.Q. SHORTAGE. WORRY LESS AND THINK MORE!

The following sentence is true. The previous sentence was false.

The Discordian Society has no definition

[/b]
"Time for the tin-foil hats, girls and boys!"

phantom pope

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ABOLISH STUPIDITY!
« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2003, 04:48:04 pm »
WISE WORDS were SPOKEN :shock:

but what :?:  the f*ck .. exactly is STUPIDITY :?:
time & space are relative on it's ways trough...

phantom pope (IAMstupidAMI?)

Trollax

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ABOLISH STUPIDITY!
« Reply #2 on: April 17, 2003, 06:08:17 am »
If I didn't think It was stupid I'd wave a flag!

***Just waves instead***

In keeping with tradition, The Australian Eristocracy will follow the lines of the US and UK eristocracy by commiting what meagre portion of our eristic forces are at our disposal that can actually fight an effective war. May I start by asking:

When were you on the night of the twelfth???

and saying chrage! to our troops.
May our jokes be sardonic and our witticisms be true, may our Mindfucks be many and our FNORDS be few, may our poems be weirder and our soups be stew!

WE shall fight them in the medulla, we shall fight them in the cortex, we shall fight them in the hypothallamus, we shall defend our brains with humour and piss taking, things they shall say of us. Never have so few done so much to so many.

Two score and 5 years ago, our patrons brought forth the proposition that all people are born illuminated with freedom and hotdogs for all!

Did I miss anything?

~Mindwarrior Trollax~

Irreverend Hugh, KSC

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ABOLISH STUPIDITY!
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2003, 03:59:10 am »
Man that was great! you covered it exactly. Pick up your new credentials giving you full rights to flexibly enforce pineal flexibilty with lunatic laughter ...they are waiting for you in your own pineal gland.
as for me, i'd rather flag the waves then wave the flags.
"Time for the tin-foil hats, girls and boys!"

Slarti

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ABOLISH STUPIDITY!
« Reply #4 on: August 12, 2003, 08:32:36 pm »
*cough*<bump>*cough*

livid E. T.

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ABOLISH STUPIDITY!
« Reply #5 on: August 12, 2003, 09:02:29 pm »
ABOLISH FLUFF

livid E. T.

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ABOLISH STUPIDITY!
« Reply #6 on: August 12, 2003, 09:03:37 pm »
NOW!!!!  :evil:

SMFabal

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ABOLISH STUPIDITY!
« Reply #7 on: August 12, 2003, 09:58:58 pm »
I don't do what you tell me!

Or I do.

But only because I want to!
SMFabal, High Pope of CoCK, PSP, CW, KSC, FP, GH, MORBJ

Q: How serious are you about this whole "Discordian" thing?
A: A blue fish Tuesday!
Q: No really, it this, like, deeply philosphical, or just a huge joke?
A: Yes.

SMFabal

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ABOLISH STUPIDITY!
« Reply #8 on: August 12, 2003, 10:00:06 pm »
btw: *fluff*
SMFabal, High Pope of CoCK, PSP, CW, KSC, FP, GH, MORBJ

Q: How serious are you about this whole "Discordian" thing?
A: A blue fish Tuesday!
Q: No really, it this, like, deeply philosphical, or just a huge joke?
A: Yes.

Irreverend Hugh, KSC

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ABOLISH STUPIDITY!
« Reply #9 on: August 12, 2003, 11:10:56 pm »
Hey now. Fluff should be abolished only in cases leading to abject stupidity. Fluff for good fun can be good. We all know what stupidity is, I think. Sometimes the fluff can be interesting and illuminating. Fluff in the service of the Great Tickle can be downright mindblowing. But then, just what the hell am I talking about? All of this could just be fluff.
"Time for the tin-foil hats, girls and boys!"

Trollax

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ABOLISH STUPIDITY!
« Reply #10 on: August 13, 2003, 02:47:06 am »
*ARMS THE COTTON BALL BOMB OF MASSIVE FLUFFINESS*

 :D  :D  :D  :D  :D

Irreverend Hugh, KSC

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ABOLISH STUPIDITY!
« Reply #11 on: August 14, 2003, 12:27:13 am »
I Have some fluffy pink bunnies for that.
"Time for the tin-foil hats, girls and boys!"

Official

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ABOLISH STUPIDITY!
« Reply #12 on: August 16, 2003, 04:10:10 am »
Man the posts, pirates! We're at war!
Official Guest, Pirate, Ninja, Bastard, and Shit-Stirrer, at your service. (Purple Monkey Cabal)

Irreverend Hugh, KSC

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ABOLISH STUPIDITY!
« Reply #13 on: September 03, 2003, 10:31:21 pm »
Seems like you're the only one who went off to that war, Official. You've been gone a while, eh?
"Time for the tin-foil hats, girls and boys!"

Official

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ABOLISH STUPIDITY!
« Reply #14 on: September 09, 2003, 10:28:02 pm »
I fought and won the war, for the glory of something I forgot. Anyway, I am back.
Official Guest, Pirate, Ninja, Bastard, and Shit-Stirrer, at your service. (Purple Monkey Cabal)