An Open Letter To PD.com

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Friends, Romans, Asshats:

I think it's safe to say that none of us here are particularly stable, at least by society's standards.  If we were, we wouldn't be here.  Many of us have strange phobias, paranoid tendencies, and character traits that make for Horrormirth™ in large quantities in our IRL lives.

However, I also think that we're better than the average monkeys, because we're stronger, at least on a mental level.  We use muscles and glands that humans simply aren't equipped with, and it makes us better people.  As a result of this, we're a pretty forgiving group.  Hell, most of you forgave ME after my TWO YEAR meltdown, and if you can do that, you can do anything.

Obviously, the behavior that you're going to forgive has to stop first...and that cuts both ways.  

Here is what I - for one - would like to see:

1.  Everyone stop dumping on Nigel, no matter how mad you are.  Be strong enough to look past the behavior of a friend who is obviously in a bad way.

2.  Nigel, please stop being antagonistic.  Also, please go back to being Nigel, instead of Cone.  We miss you.  

Basically, when you come to think of it, you as an individual only have two things in life that are worth having...your health and your friends/loved ones.  Speaking from personal experience, you can't really understand how important either one is until you've lost it, and then it is usually too late.

Usually, but not always.  

Not in this case, anyway.  I am going to be Nigel's friend, even if that's unilateral, because I like her a lot and because she needs friends right now.  Even if she is horrible to me, or won't speak to me, I'm there if she needs me.  This doesn't mean that I am going to agree with her on everything, or get involved in arguments as a given, but I'm going to stick with her no matter what, just like Cain and ECH did for me, back in the bad old days.

Everyone deserves a second chance, or even a third or a fourth, and that goes both for her and for those that have said things to her...This isn't a one way street.  We need to let it drop, and so does Nigel.  We're friggin' GODS, even if we sometimes forget that, and we're all of us strong enough to put this all behind us, if only we aren't too lazy to do so.  There is nothing to "win", here.  There is only one winner in a fight like this, and that winner is closely related to the corpse-eating rats that were the real victor in WWI.  

Think about it, for just a second...all we have to do is stop fighting.

One last thing...Nigel, I've said this before, and I'm going to say it again:

You can come back, baby, rock and roll never forgets.  

So come back.

Or Kill Me.
 

[hooplala]

Well said, and I agree.

Nigel, I am sorry for being an asshole to you.  EOT, I will try to be more patient with your posts, they happen to push a very personal button within me, but that is not your fault.

[LMNO]

For the record, I don't really have a problem with Nigel coming back... Since I've decided not to engage the Cone Collective, I'd like to be able to communicate with her again at some point, if the situation arises.

[Kai]

Yes yes yes. To everything, yes.

Basically, when you come to think of it, you as an individual only have two things in life that are worth having...your health and your friends/loved ones.  Speaking from personal experience, you can't really understand how important either one is until you've lost it, and then it is usually too late.

Especially that. And I've lost both more than once.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Yes yes yes. To everything, yes.

Basically, when you come to think of it, you as an individual only have two things in life that are worth having...your health and your friends/loved ones.  Speaking from personal experience, you can't really understand how important either one is until you've lost it, and then it is usually too late.

Especially that. And I've lost both more than once.

So have I, and it's flat-out awful. 

[Payne]

This articulates pretty much what I was getting at the last few days, when I saw this shitstorm on the horizon.

I've been pretty much keeping away from PD for all of it though, so I don't really know the ins and outs of it, and don't really care to research it. All I know is I was getting pretty frustrated with this and other situations, and if I can't do anything about them it's better to stay clear.

Nigel: You may have pissed me off a little once or twice in the past, but what you bring to the table is worth so much more than that. I'm still willing to hold out a hand to you, all you got to do is take it.

Nigel, come back. Your forum needs you.

Everyone Else: You may have pissed me off a little once or twice in the past, but the table we have here to bring stuff to is worth so much more than that. I'm still willing to hold out a hand to you all of you, in the hope that when I need you to do the same for me, someone will be there.

PD, Unite! We have nothing to lose but a couple ego points, another thin layer of what is left of our oh-so-human pride and the baggage of our monkeyish brains

[Salty]

Well said, TGRR.

I have nothing against Nigel, quite the opposite in fact. In my long-term lurking, hastily breezing through random threads at random intervals I have to admit that Nigel is one of the people that stood out most and made the kinds of posts that made me want to be a part of this place.

That said, I am one of those paranoids, especially with people I really don't know at all. Communicating with people I don't know, can't know, who switch at random triggers that small, irritable gland and makes it swell to the size of an angry grapefruit.

So I am sorry for calling the cone collective a fucking asshole, bad reaction on my part to a perceived loss of someone I think highly of.

[Triple Zero]

Okay.

I would like it if Nigel's conical friends got their own accounts though. I might even like them!

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

TGRR, I am, as often... impressed.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

I miss Nigel 

[Reginald Ret]

yes!

[Freeky]

I miss Nigel 

Me, too.

[-Kel-]

I miss Nigel 

dito. I've lurked on this board since 2004 and she's been a fav poster.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Thanks, TGRR.

Hoops, I'm sorry.

I'll be less antagonistic. Perhaps not less than Nigel's original levels, but I will hold back.

I can't go back to being Nigel, yet. Treat me like something completely different if that's what makes you comfortable, but right now I need the distance and comfort of being a collective. When everything's OK again I'll see if Nigel can be resurrected.

FWIW, this is not about Mario or punishing anyone for Mario's "sins". Since I've been on the board, I've had a barrage of stresses; catching my husband cheating, losing a beloved friend/brother-in-law to a brain aneurism, opening my marriage, a divorce that is still ongoing, breaking up with the man I loved, and love, more than I have ever loved anyone, a complete breakdown and resulting financial pressures, the threat of losing my house, the death of my other brother-in-law, and then, at the very tip of the iceberg lies Mario, who I love dearly and miss tremendously, but who is not the catalyst here. So, please, anyone who is, stop assuming it's about him.
He was just one more stressor in a parade of stressors that all happened within a very short time frame.

And for fuck's sake, don't even think about offering me pity. I just need a buffer for a while. That's all.

[Darth Cupcake]

I miss Nigel 

I don't know what's going because I've been in absentia, but damn... I <3 Nigel.