The Easter Bunny

[Storebrand]

This isn't really a rant but...

When I was small, my father would take us on long drives through the mountains on the curvy roads.  Part of the drive involved a couple very long tunnels.  The middle of those tunnels haven't seen natural light since the day they were constructed.  The funny thing is, I was never afraid of the dark in the tunnels until my father asked me what I thought the Easter bunny did when he wasn't hiding Easter eggs.  I didn't know.  He told me the Easter bunny lived in the shadows of the tunnel, where you couldn't see him, and nibbled on children's ears.  The only way to keep him from eating your ears was to cover them and sing him a song to distract him. 

Now that I'm on that lost highway, I find myself in one of those long, twisted tunnels, the light from the back end of the tunnel disappeared a while back.  I have no idea why the tunnel is so dark and it's starting to freak me out.  I'm behind the wheel this time but the long believed misconception of the Easter bunny has been nagging at the back of my mind for what seems like an eternity.  The irrational fear instilled in me as a child is taking over and I find myself slowly going mad, humming inanely to myself while I'm subconsciously stepping on the gas.  I can see just a few feet in front of me, the road too dimly illuminated by the widely spaced lights.  I know I'm driving way too close to the wall and I'm afraid I'm going to crash into it, but I can't bring myself to apply the brakes.  The Easter bunny likes to nibble on ears.  I have very cute, shapely ears.  I know he doesn't exist, but he wants to eat my ears.

A sign pops into my line of vision, dangling from the roof of the tunnel.  It reads, "Turn on headlights".  I'm such an idiot.  I flip on the headlights again.  Relief washes over me.  I wasn't paying attention when I entered the tunnel.  I flipped the switch when I saw the first sign but I didn't realize I already had them on.  I started using them when it got dark out.  Now, I feel silly. 

But...  what the hell am I supposed to do about my fear of the Easter bunny?  Why am I placing my faith in some synthetic light to guard me from the things I fear?  Am I going to forget again and let the fear chase me into a wall next time?  And how fucking long is this tunnel? 

[BluTakDuck]

If it was me, i would place signs in my car to remind me that there is no easter bunny.

Or at least that the easter bunny only likes the ears of children.

Or carry a rabbit carcass around with you to show the easter bunny what will happen if he comes anywhere near your lugholes.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

There is an Easter Bunny, and he is called the Fire Marshal.  Tomorrow, he comes!  I wanted to leave a plate of cookies and milk out for him, but my boss said no.  He's going to check to see if we have been naughty.  If we have, we have to give him money.  If we have not, we should get red plastic fire chief hats.  I asked for them months ago, but he still hasn't brought any, he just comes and yells at us.  So he isn't like the real Easter bunny.

[cavehamster]

I'm not sure people ever get over irrational fears, they just learn to cope with them better.  Kind of strange, eh?

As a kid, I was fairly fearless, until I saw the movie Gremlins.  Of all the movies to see, it creeped me out in a big way, and I developed a fear of something under the bed, but only at night, and only when I was standing in front of the bed, ie, once I was in the bed, I was no longer concerned.  I'd come into the room, run and jump into bed, and it was all good.

Sometimes still when I have to go rooting under the bed for a cat or something, I have this tiny flash back to then, and it does not bother me any more, but I know I was once afraid.

[Storebrand]

I read over this again and realized how hardcore I failed at writing for a target audience.  The symbolism only makes sense to me and maybe the people who know me really well.  Gah, egocentrism.
This was supposed to be about 1.)Me facing the fact that my current defense mechanisms, rationalization and repression, are getting in the way of me dealing with the insecurities and need for perfection instilled in me and 2.) My confusion over how to rid myself of my insecurities and need for perfection without resorting to repression or rationalization while currently in a situation where I'm dealing with a great deal of stress associated with trying to attain perfection while dealing with the insecurities, especially when I recognize,for a normal person in this particular situation, a little bit of rationalization is probably not a bad thing.

Fuck yeah, run-on sentences!  I'm not even sure if that last one makes sense.  That's why I tried writing this all out using the Easter bunny story first. 

[Storebrand]

It comes off really whiny when I write it out like that.  I was trying to illustrate the ridiculousness of it all with the Easter bunny, as well.  The real point I was trying to make was something along the lines of, "Look at this stupid bullshit I'm subjecting myself to."

[ThatGreenGentleman]

Well, if you want to get over your fear of the easter bunny, why not go to the mall around easter, and get a picture with easter bunny?

[ThatGreenGentleman]

HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!   

gin! you're fear of the easter bunny is totally rational now! 

[Storebrand]

                       /
GONNA EAT MA EEEEEEAAAAARRRRRRRS!

Shitfuckdamneet!!!!  That is horrifying.   

[ThatGreenGentleman]

OH NOEZ!!!!! Everybody knows Santa is weirdo, and probably has a really strange fetish of some sort, and the Easter bunny eats childrens ears and snorts carrots!!!!!