So I gave up...

[Lies]

Hey, good to hear you making a positive step in your life.

As on on again/off again smoker, I feel that while pot can help you feel better in some ways and help in others, it can and will dull you and your mind and your motivation to do stuff, if you want to smoke, there's a time and a place, but when you're doing it nearly every day and not achieving the things you want to achieve, it's time to seriously think about giving it a decent break

[Salty]

Thanks for all your support.

I am starting to realize why I preferred to be vacant-minded though. I have been trying deep breathing techniques I haven't done in years, if only to offset to small, intense bursts of panic and anxiety I've been experiencing over the last few days.

Underneath all that haze was a well of dissatisfaction and anger. I've been trying to focus that energy on constructive things, but being mostly out of work isn't helping.

Gonna try to land whatever University job I can get while waiting for the slope thing to work out because I don't really care what I do at this point as long as it's something that isn't massage or retail hell. Which doesn't pay enough anyway. 

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

This might've already been discussed in here, but you should start doing cardio and weight training. It helps a lot with stabilizing that sort of shit.